Orientation (1)

Service

 

 

Service is the most primary, the most basic of terms within the BDSM realm. Service can loosely be defined as an act or work done by one individual to the benefit another, but what does service mean within the BDSM realm.

 

The need to serve is the most fundamental desire within a slave; the desire to be in the service of another is the driving force that beckons to each and every slave.

 

When one is first exposed to the BDSM realm there are many things that may attract an individual... the taboo nature of the lifestyle, the acceptance, the mystery or the feel of being utterly controlled...but there is one thing that makes someone dedicate their life to being a slave and that is the desire to serve.

 

Many relationships are service based or service focused relationships. This is a relationship that is not focused on sexuality, pleasure, or playtime. This form of relationship is focused on the service of a slave to an owner, in whatever form of service is desired by the owner.

 

When an individual writes and asks what I will do to him or her, my answer is simple, anything I wish to.... but in reality this individual just informed me that he or she is not a service oriented slave. By asking what I can do for him or her, the slave is telling me that they want to be the focus of the relationship. With a service oriented slave they will mention what they have to offer not what they wish to receive. This tells the owner that the slave's focus is on serving, and providing a service for the owner with no desire for self-gratification...just the pleasure of being allowed to serve.

 

To serve is to offer one's self, one's talent, one's knowledge, one's body, and one's very presence to use of another individual. An experienced owner will understand the slave's need to serve and focus on making the arrangement mutually beneficial. The owner will utilize what the slave has to offer and allow the slave to serve, with the understanding that a little recognition for a job well done is all that the slave expects in return.

 

I must say that one of the worst punishments that you can inflict on a service-oriented slave is to restrict them from serving, or to force them to watch while another slave serves their owner.

 

Service is the foundation of being a slave, in one form or another...service is the very life force within the BDSM realm.

 

Norische

Orientation (2)

Baggage

 

 

When I speak of baggage I do not speak of your trusty old set of Samsonite, I am speaking of emotional baggage.

 

Emotional baggage is a laymen's term for the emotional turmoil and distress that each individual experiences when confronted with a negative experience. From each experience in our life we can learn and grow. However, when we hold on to the negative emotions surrounding an experience we begin to be weighted down. Just as with Jacob Marley in the Charles Dickens' saga "A Christmas Carol"; each negative emotion we hold onto weighs us down, becoming a great chain surrounding us. It is a burden that we must be relieved of before we can move on in our lives.

 

With each failed relationship we have had; we carry with us more than the mere memory of the experience. We carry with us all the emotions we experienced, both positive and negative. Positive emotions are easily understood and readily accepted; negative emotions however, are not. Sometimes we do not understand why we have negative emotions like guilt, jealousy, anger, resentment, and the feeling of failure or inadequacy. Frequently we push these negative emotions so far back into our subconscious mind that we may or may not be aware of their existence.

 

When you repress these emotions long enough you may begin to believe that they no longer exist. Unfortunately, if not dealt with properly, you will not only find that these emotions still exist but you will also find that they have a great deal of influence of your day to day behaviors.

 

When a slave enters into service they must be emotionally prepared to serve. While the statement is simple, the concept is quite complicated. The simplest beginning starts with a simple quote. "Know Thyself".

 

Before a slave can serve an owner he or she must know in their heart that service and being owned is what they desire. They must be confident in themselves and their ability to serve. Doubt and uncertainty has no place in an owner/slave relationship. If a slave doubts himself or herself how can they find pride and fulfillment in the service of another, how can they represent their owner when they do not understand themselves.

 

A slave must be free of additions as well. Addictions are very powerful, and no owner will allow an individual to have a "master" other than himself or herself. No owner likes to compete for a slave's attention or his or her love; hence addictions have no place in slavery.

 

Also if a slave knows that he or she has an undesirable habit prior to entering into an owner/slave relationship then that habit needs to be eradicated. There is no place for bad     

Orientation (3)
Attitude

Attitude is another one of the corner stones that serve as a good foundation for any slave. Remember that the attitude of the slave can very well set the attitude of the house, and hence the atmosphere that the owner comes home to. When a slave is depressed, the house feels down, empty almost lonely somehow. When a slave is sexually excited, you can almost walk into the house and smell the lust in the air.

A slave should always strive to present the most positive environment possible. There is not one owner out there that wants to come home to a house full of tension, anxiety or just plain bitchiness. I am not saying that the slave can never have an off day or get upset, but the slave must remember their obligation is to the owner and to the house, hence sometimes a slave must put the happiness of another before his or her own.

If the slave is unhappy, upset, or unfulfilled then the proper thing to do would be to go to the owner and ask to discuss the matter with him or her. Don't think that if you ignore a problem that it will go away. Unfortunately negative emotions tend to build at a rapidly increasing pace, and must at some point be dealt with. It is far better to get it off one's mind and out in the air and give the owner the opportunity to deal with the problem properly, than to be forced to live in misery and uncertainty until things boil over and someone explodes.

I am not saying that the slave needs to be upbeat and chipper by any means, in fact some owners like their slave to be reserved and quiet. What a slave must strive for is to provide the owner with an atmosphere that compliments the wants and needs of the owner. To achieve this the slave must have an attitude that encourages the type of atmosphere that the owner is seeking.

If the slave feels that he or she cannot meet the expectations of attitude desired by the owner then they should let the owner know this and allow him or her to make an informed decision of what to do. Sometimes counseling on one or both parts may be necessary. In some cases where medical issues are the cause for the lack of emotional stability, anti-depressive medications or other mood stabilizing medications may be necessary.

In the end attitude is everything. Each individual has the ability to govern his or her attitude and hence they are in control of the very atmosphere around him or her, each individual is the center of the universe they live in.

To serve with the attitude of arrogance is not service at all. To give an apology without the proper amount of humility is to merely recite the words without any meaning. To begrudgingly perform a task required of you is to do a disservice for all involve. Own your realm, own your attitude.

 

Orientation (4)

Obedience

Obedience is a gray area within an owner/slave relationship. To some owners obedience is blind; a slave has no place to question the command of the owner under any circumstances. To me obedience is unambiguous, it should be well understood that the slave should obey the owner... however; there are always exceptions to every rule. 

When a slave accepts a position with an owner the slave's limitations and limits should clearly be out lined in such a manner that no question can be made of the intention of the writer of the contract presented. Once the owner has agreed to the terms of the contract then the both slave and owner should have a clear understanding of what is expected. Anything that is a moral, legal, religious or health issue should be disclosed within the contract and once signed cannot be questioned. 

If a slave is so blind as to sign a contract that simply states...

The slave has no right to question the owner.The slave owns nothing; all the positions previously owned by the slave now belong to the owner.Any money earned by the slave, or through the efforts of the slave is immediately forfeited to the owner to do with as he or she pleases. The slave must follow all rules set aside by the owner with out question. The slave agrees to accept any punishment decided on by the owner for any transgression, real or perceived without questionThe slave may not break the contract for any reason; the owner reserves the right to dissolve the contract without need of explanation or fore notice.

... Unfortunately he or she finds himself or herself in a most precarious situation. Obedience is not option at this point it is an absolute. In the above example there is no mention of the owner doing anything that might be legal, or moral issues. Nowhere in the above example is there mention of phobias, or limits. Hence there is no place for negotiations and no place for flexibility. If a slave has claustrophobia there is no place in the above contract that states that both parties agree upon that specific limitation hence the slave has no just cause to refuse an owners wish to cage him or her as a punishment. 

The contract is the first reference for obedience. The second reference is the owner's list of rules. Every rule within a house should be written on paper and signed by all parties involved, hence leaving no room for excuses. There can be no question to the meaning or existence to the rule if it is all in black and white. Any questions the slave has should be presented at the time when the rules are presented to the slave, and then the owner can reword or clarify any rule and represent the list for all to sign. 

The third reference for obedience is the owner's instructions. When an owner gives an instruction he or she expects their instructions to be followed until such time as another instruction takes precedence. In other words if the owner states that he or she wants to be awakened at 6am each morning, then the slave should consider this an ongoing order and follow it until the owner changes that directive. 

The fourth reference for obedience is observation. A slave must observe the owner and make general rules from behaviors or patterns of behavior. In other words the owner always puts one pack of sweet and low in her tea, and never gets anything but Lipton's decaffeinated. To suddenly bring the owner a cup of Earl Grey hot with honey, would be seen as unusual to say the least, disobedient at the worst. If an owner has a preference then the slave should observe the preference until told to do otherwise, or ask prior to making any change in the standard.  

Obedience is not just following instructions; it is learning the owner, knowing what's expected of the slave and following through to the best of one's ability. 
There is one thing that I would like to point out at this time, A SLAVE HAS NO EXCUSES. A slave has no excuse for disobedience, a slave may have a valid reason but a slave will never have a good excuse. Let me clarify, an excuse is something that a slave thinks up after they have disobeyed. A ‘reason' is what a slave uses to clarify why he or she disobeyed. For example, the owner instructs the slave to mop the floor while he or she is at work, the chore does not get done. An excuse would be "I had so many other things to do, I simply did not get around to it". A valid reason would be "We did not have enough Mop and Glo to do the floor, and since you had the car I was unable to go get more." 

Obedience is something that everyone expects but few truly understand. There are many levels of obedience and each must be observed equally. 

Legal obedience - Laws and ordinances set aside by a court of law, either local, city, county, state, or federal must be obliged at all times. Example: Public nudity. If an owner orders his or her slave to strip nude and walk through the parking lot of Macy's then chances are the slave and more than likely the owner will be arrested. Hence all laws must be observed and obeyed. 

Moral obedience - Each individual has a moral code that they observe, and this code is at the very base of his or her existence. If a slave feels that homosexuality is morally wrong then for an owner to demand behaviors that might compromise the slaves personal morals would be considered wrong. 

Religious obedience - If an individuals has a religious conviction that demands or restricts certain behaviors then this must be observed by the owner. For example if the slave is an orthodox Jew and cannot do any work what so ever from Friday night sun down until Saturday night sun down, and the owner orders this individual to do something that would compromise this slaves religious conviction then the owner would be considered wrong. 

Slave obedience - A slave has a natural level of obedience within them, and most will do everything in their power to perform their duties to the best of their ability, it is this form of obedience that gives them the drive to compromise all other forms of obedience. It is up to the owner to make sure that while obedience is the preferred action, that no order or request compromises the legal, moral, or religious standing of the slave.

One last thing that should be mentioned is safety. No order may endanger the health, both physical and mental, of the slave. Any order that would compromise the safety and well being of the slave should be questioned and considered carefully prior to obeying. A true owner would never knowingly cause harm to their slave, they may hurt them but they will never harm them.

Norische

Orientation (5)
Honesty

Honesty is something that starts long before the slave meets the owner. It begins within the individual. The slave must be able to be honest with him or herself, to know his or her own imperfections, flaws and limitations, to understand them and to embrace them. A slave must be able to be him or herself and feel comfortable with the understanding that while no one is perfect, at least he or she is exactly who they appear to be.

The facades of perfection and superiority that some individuals put forth are exactly that, a façade...they are no more real than the Easter Bunny or Santa Clause (forgive me Santa). When I meet such individuals there are several things that I am acutely aware of.

First, they are not comfortable with who they are, why else would they feel the need to pretend to be someone or something that they are not.

Second, they do not understand the need for honesty within a BDSM relationship, for if they did they would not put on a façade.

Third, they have a low self esteem...perhaps they fear that you will not like or approve of who they really are and therefore they feel a need to recreate themselves to be more or better than what they truly are.

Fourth, they do not respect others...for if they respected others they would not believe them to be so shallow as to not see through the façade and make an educated decision for themselves as to like or dislike an individual based on the truth and not on the illusion put forth.

Fifth, they do not understand human psychology...for it is the very nature of a submissive or slave to place an owner on a pedestal to begin with, and to see them for more than they truly are. It is also the nature of an owner to believe that his or her slave can do anything; "My slave can make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum the house, wash the dishes, fix dinner, walk the dog, take my jacket to the dry cleaners, pick up the theater tickets, do the grocery shopping, scrub the kitchen floor, mow the yard, and still be waiting for me kneeling nude with hot coffee in hand when I walk in the door after work." We do not need façades of grandeur or false images of each other to be presented to us; we do it on our own.

So as you can see honesty is something that must begin with self, but it cannot stop there.
When going for an interview with a perspective owner the slave must be honest about his or her abilities and experience as well as limitations and expectations. To do otherwise is to set oneself up for failure. Do not embellish or exaggerate, and by all means do not assume anything.

If a slave informs me that he has 30 yrs experience, my understanding of this individual is that they have a deep and vast knowledge of basic and more than likely advance forms of service, that there will be limited training necessary and that they will know what is expected from them long before I have to tell him or her. It is not my understanding that the individual has less than one year of actual service, with about four years of weekend scening and kink play, and the rest is what he or she has read in a book or read on line. While the truth may be less impressive than a lie, the truth is always the wiser choice.

A slave is always expected to be completely honest with his or her owner, even if it may be detrimental to the slave or the owner for that matter. To lie to someone is to say, "I do not respect you enough to tell you the truth."

A slave's word is his or her bond, and to be known as a slave whose word is useless is to have no honor, no pride, no dignity, and a slave that is completely unworthy of being owned.

An owner whose word is questionable has no understanding of what it means to be an owner. Trust can never be formed on a foundation of lies, half-truths, exaggerations, or omissions. Honesty is one of the fundamental forces within this Universe; it is so easy to build trust when it is based on honesty. However, it is very difficult to rebuild the trust once lies have interwoven themselves into the intricate fabric of the relationship.

Strive for honesty, and understanding. Know yourself, be honest with yourself and then you may find the honesty within others.

 

 

Orientation (6)
Communication

It is the responsibility of the slave to learn how to communicate properly and to appropriately. Good communication is a key element for an owner/slave relationship. There are a few simple instructions that must be followed to ensure good communication.

The slave must learn to word his or her comments well, speaking in code or innuendoes only serves to irritate the owner and encourage frustration for all parties involved.

Be precise, do not give a long drawn out story or embellish, simply state the information necessary to get your point across, if the owner wishes more detail then he or she will ask for it.

Keep the voice under control, an owner will listen more if the slave's voice is in a calm, quiet manner than if the slave is yelling. An owner will tend to ignore a raised voice or concentrate on the tone being used and not the words being said.

Don't hem haw around, do not waste the owner's time by saying something like "Well...um...you see...well...I know what you...um...well..." An owner will get frustrated and stop listening.

Learn to be expressive without being obnoxious, to be giggling in the middle of a comment only serves as a distraction.

If you have a question, ask... no one will be punished for asking for clarification. However the slave must know it is the owner's prerogative as to answer the question or not. Ignorance is not an excuse, if there is a question or uncertainty about an instruction it is the slaves obligation to ask questions.

Learn to actively listen, an individual may hear what another is saying...but are they really listening.

Don't waste time, have your questions or comments planned out, if necessary write down what you want to say...that way you have everything ready when you have the opportunity to speak take advantage of it, instead of spending most of the owner's time trying to remember what you wanted to say.

Be accurate, exaggerations, embellishment and over dramatization are great when you are writing a novel but not when you are conversing with the owner.

Be honest, when the owner asks the slave a question the slave must be honest...even if there are repercussions for telling the truth, it is far better than being caught in a lie.

Enunciate well, do not slur or mumble...it gets irritating for the owner to have to continually ask the slave to repeat him or herself.

If the slave is highly emotional then he or she should calm down and gather themselves prior to speaking, a cool head makes understanding much easier.

To learn to communicate well is a huge task amongst itself. To learn to listen well is to complete the battle, and win.

Norische

 

Orientation (7)
Respect

"Respect as defined by Webster's Dictionary may be used as a verb or noun, and comes from two Latin combinations: re-, back + specere, look at). Our modern meanings include: 1. to feel or show honor or esteem for. 2. to show consideration for. 3. to concern; relate to."

Respect is something that is slowly earned through one's actions and words. In an owner/slave relationship respect is mandatory. The slave must respect the owner, not only as an individual but also as an owner in general. The slave must learn to respect the owner's privacy, even if the slave is permitted none of his or her own. The slave must learn to respect the decisions of the owner, even if the slave has questions about the decision itself. The slave must respect the owner's property (which the slave is now part of) and the owner's home.

Most importantly the slave must respect him or herself. With respect comes honor, pride, and self esteem. Without these things a slave will allow him or herself to be mistreated, neglected even abused. In my honest opinion a good slave is a terrible thing to waste.

With respect comes trust, and a relationship within this lifestyle that has neither respect or trust is no relationship at all. If a slave does not trust his or her owner then they are staying with said owner out of fear, not loyalty, duty or honor. A relationship based on fear and not respect or trust is one in which all parties will end up being hurt in the end.

There is a certain amount of respect that the title of "Owner" gives an individual. With that title one is believed to have the knowledge and experience befitting the designation. However, sometimes that is not always the case; sometimes the title is as arbitrary as an honorary doctorates degree. A title without the knowledge, experience and skill behind it is no more than a meaningless word. Unfortunately, the title itself does indeed deserve respect, even if the bearer of such a title is unworthy. Hence a slave should always show respect to an owner, until that specific individual has done or said something to lose that respect.

Once respect for an individual is lost it is very difficult to regain, it takes time and a great deal of effort to over shadow the past and hence allow an individual to regain the trust and eventually the respect that once was held. Honesty, honor, integrity, time and hard work are the only ways to repair the damage of a moment of ignorance, carelessness or dishonesty.

Norische

 

Orientation (8)
Trust

The first thing that must be stated about trust is that it is a critical portion of BDSM. From the moment a slave is cuffed and blindfolded he or she is helpless and at the complete mercy of the owner. The slave must trust the owner with their very life, one slip of a knife they could be just another statistic, one hit in the wrong place and they are damaged for life. A slave must know they trust the owner to make sure that they are not harmed, and are kept safe.

Everyone talks about the amount of trust a slave must have and the risk that they put themselves in on a daily basis, but trust is not a one sided blade. The owner must trust the slave, as much as the slave must trust the owner. An owner must trust the slave that he or she will not get upset with the owner and run to the authorities and report them for anything from rape to kidnapping and attempted murder. Months, even years after a slave is removed from service he or she can still lodge a complaint against a previous owner and at the least destroy that individual's reputation and at the most have the individual incarcerated. Trust is not something that cannot be taken for granted, nor should it be taken lightly.

When making arrangements to meet someone, both owner and slave alike, must trust that the other individual is being honest about their intentions, experience, abilities, and their past. If a slave states they have 30 yrs experience, the owner must take the slave at his or her word and trust that the slave understands the ramifications of their statement and not embellish, exaggerate, or mislead the owner. Just as when an owner states that they have had three slaves previously, the slave trusts that the owner honestly has had three slaves, not cyber slaves but real time slaves.

It takes time to build trust, time to nurture it and to form the bonds necessary to give oneself without reservation. It takes but one moment in time to loose all the trust that has been built so carefully, and tended to with such diligence. Unfortunately, sometimes that trust can be given when it is not deserved; the best advice I can give is to follow one's instincts. If your instincts tell you not to trust someone, then use caution...never assume anything and always ask questions.

 

 

Orientation (9)
Duty / Responsibility

It is the duty of each and every slave to be honest. Remember that your word is your honor, and without honor you have no place as a slave.

It is the duty of each and every slave to be obedient. Obedience is not something that can be negotiated, one may respectfully question, but one must always be obedient.

It is the duty of each and every slave to be respectful. One can never expect to be treated with respect unless one knows how to treat others with respect.

It is the duty of each and every slave to be loyal. A slave should never give his or her owner reason to question the loyalty of the slave.

It is the duty of each and every slave to know one's place. To forget one's place is to forget the reason that he or she became a slave in the first place.

It is the duty of each and every slave to behave in a manner that is appropriate and in the best interest of all involved.

It is the duty of each and every slave to maintain a healthy mind and body. Remember that the slave is now the property of another and must be treated accordingly.

It is the duty of each and every slave to ensure a happy, healthy home for him or herself and the owner.

It is the duty of each and every slave to serve. The act of serving is the foundation of the slave's existence; to over look this is to take away the slave's reason for being.

It is the duty of each and every slave to put the needs and wants of the owner before his or her own. In the heart of the slave, the owner should be first and foremost.

It is the responsibility of the owner to ensure a healthy, safe home. An environment that is unhealthy or unsafe serves no purpose, except to destroy.

It is the responsibility of the owner to maintain his or her property and to treat each slave with respect. To allow a slave to be ill-treated is to create a foundation of fear and mistrust.

It is the responsibility of the owner to be honest. Honesty is the foundation of trust and without trust then there is no foundation for a relationship.

It is the responsibility of the owner to communicate with and to actively listen to his or her slave. While there are some individuals with psychic abilities, I am sure, do not assume that the slave can read minds or is so well trained that he or she can anticipate the owner's every need.

It is the responsibility of the owner to be patient, Rome was not have been built in a day, and neither is a good slave.

It is the responsibility of the owner to use his or her slave well. A slave that is not allowed to serve is a slave without a purpose.

It is the responsibility of the owner to provide structure and consistency. Chaos may encourage change but it does not encourage security or peace of mind.

It is the responsibility of the owner to put the safety and well being of the slave before his or her own. An owner takes full responsibility for every thing that happens to the slave when he or she places a collar on the slave, remember that and understand that responsibility.

 

Orientation (10)
Timing

Timing is something that is frequently overlooked when it comes to training a slave. However, the aspect of training is actually very important.

A slave that arrives too soon will make an owner feel rushed. A slave that arrives after the expected time will make the owner wait for him or her. Both of the above examples are unacceptable, hence the importance of proper timing.

Timing is nothing more than a matter of keen observation and deduction. With time a slave learns through observation how long the owner normally takes to finish each task, and can adjust his or her behaviors accordingly.

If an owner normally takes 5 minutes to drink his or her coffee, the slave should be available to refill the coffee within 4 minutes and 30 seconds, giving a little leeway is usually a good idea...just make sure that it is mere seconds and not minutes. Refilling the coffee while the cup still has some in it is acceptable; making an owner wait for a refill is not.

If the owner normally takes 20 minutes to take his or her bath, the slave should have a heated towel available at 19 minutes and wait outside the door until he or she hears the owner getting out of the tub. If the slave is too quick then the owner feels as if he or she cannot enjoy their bath or that he or she is being pressured into hurrying. If the slave waits too long then the owner is standing dripping wet waiting for a nice fluffy towel that is not coming.

As you can see timing is truly important, and it is a skilled slave that has this concept down to a fine art. It may appear that the slave is psychic or can see through walls, but in truth it is simply a matter to observation and timing... skills that all slaves should understand and practice.

 

Orientation (11)
Discretion

Being discrete is something that many of us take for granted; I however, feel that it is necessary to include this subject.

Some individuals feel that if you behave in a discrete manner that you are afraid or ashamed of whom you are. In the same sense this type of individual would be rather flamboyant about his or her life choices, due to the fact that he or she is proud of who they are.

There are individuals that are unable to be open about who they are and what life choices they have made due to his or her occupation or standing in the community. There are those that feel as if their family and friends would not accept them for who they are, and hence masquerade as the average citizen in order to keep up a standard of appearances.

Which approach is better? That is a question that should be left to the owner. A slave should not expect the owner to tell all his or her friends about their new acquisition, or expect the owner to introduce the slave as such at anytime other when the owner feels it appropriate. The slave should maintain an air of discretion at all time and only disclose his or her standing when directed to do so by the owner.

There are those that proudly wear a collar, and walk two steps being their owner in public, and say "Yes Master," or "Yes Mistress" in a crisp clear voice when asked a question. There are also those that have their collar hidden within the folds of their clothing, and walk with pride and the knowledge deep within their heart that they are a slave...but to the untrained eye they are only an individual, someone to blend in with the crowd.

Discretion does not mean you are ashamed of who you are. It means that you take into account the ideas and perceptions of others and do not wish to force your lifestyle onto them. After all remember Safe, Sane, and Consensual...the rest of the world did not consent to being within your chosen lifestyle, and hence it should remain their choice.

 

Orientation (12)
Patience

Patience is the hardest thing for a slave to learn, and hence it must be one of the first things they are introduced too.

A slave is always waiting on his or her owner, waiting to serve, waiting to be given instruction, or simply serving. So as you see the slave must learn to develop a great deal of patience even if he or she is not a patient person.

There is patience of another form that must be discussed as well. Many times an owner will give an instruction or order and the slave will have no clue as to why the instruction is given, the slave must be patient and allow the owner to explain when and if there is a desire to do so. It is not the place of a slave to question the orders or demands of the owner, unless there is a need for clarification. Unless there is a moral, legal or safety issue involved; a slave should follow the owner's instructions without question. Hence the slave must have patience and not focus on things that he or she may not be privileged to, or things that they do not understand.

A slave is expected to just do as he or she is instructed. It is not appropriate for a slave to be too curious or nosey, the owner has the right to keep his or her secrets. The slave has the right only to the secrets and privacy that the owner permits.

If a slave appears to be impatient then the owner will feel pressured or feel that the slave is attempting to manipulate him or her... which technically the slave is doing just that. If the owner wishes to hurry then he or she will, but if not then the slave has no right to attempt to speed things along... unless of course it is in the best interests of the owner to do so. For example the owner takes the slave to the Mall with him to buy a couple of new shirts, the owner gets busy looking and forgets that he has an appointment in a half of an hour... at this point it is the slave's duty to respectfully remind the owner of the previous engagement and hence hurry the owner along on his way.

Patience is a virtue and it takes the patience of a saint to be a good slave.

 

Speech Training (1)
Introduction

Knowing how to properly introduce oneself is extremely important. An improper introduction can taint the entire conversation and perhaps slew the initial impression in a detrimental manner. As the old adage states "You only get one chance to make a good first impression."

When initiating a conversation with another individual one must first know how the individual wishes to be addressed. Countless individuals have been cast aside as inexperienced or untrained simply because the first words out of their mouth was "Hello, Mistress" or "Greetings Master". Titles are earned; not simply matters of common courtesy. When a slave takes it upon him or herself to use a familiar presence then he or she has already overstepped their boundaries. Hence with the first words out of the slave's mouth he or she has already proven themselves to be ignorant or careless.

When a slave first meets an individual, no matter of apparent rank or standing the slave should always request how the individual wishes to be addressed. Specifically, a slave must learn to ask, with respect mind you, what title or name that he or she should use. For example:

"Forgive my ignorance, but I am unaware of how to address you."
Or
"Please forgive me, but I do not know how you wish to be addressed."

These are two excellent examples of the proper way to initialize a conversation. After the slave is familiar with how to address an individual he or she should thank the individual for the information and the slave may then introduce him or herself.

The proper way for a slave to introduce him or herself is to be polite, respectful and to the point. For example:

" If it pleases Sir, I am called chimmey."
Or
"It is an honor to meet you Ma'am, I am called chimmey, property of Madam Lang."


A wise choice of words can be a prelude to a promising experience, just as an ill chosen word or phrase can be disastrous.

"Forgive my ignorance, I am unaware of how to address you."
" Thank you Sir."
"It is an honor to make your acquaintance. If I may be so bold, I am chimmey, property of Madam Lang.
There are several simple hints that can help avoid a disastrous first time meeting. While an Owner can be much more specific as to the method of greeting and public as well as private behavior that the submissive displays, this selection gives a good basis for reference and a good starting place for the inexperienced.

A slave should never extend a hand for a handshake or touch another individual without permission.

A slave should never raise his or her voice.

A slave should never mumble or talk under their breath.

A slave should never interrupt (unless it is an emergency or he or she is ordered to do so).

A slave should never make a spectacle of themselves, or attempt to draw attention to themselves.

A slave should not fidget or squirm.

A slave should remain focused and attentive at all times.

A slave should never invade another individual's personal space, unless directed to do so.

A slave should not slouch or appear too stiff.

A slave should assume that the individual that he or she is a superior until told otherwise.

A slave should never use profanity,

Keep in mind that manners may or may not be mentioned but they are always expected.

One absolute that a slave must always remember is that speech is not a requirement it is a privilege, and hence can be taken away.

 

Speech Training (2)
How To Apologize

One slave I was training stated quite blatantly that she would not apologize when told to do so, because she felt she gad done nothing wrong. Whether or not she had done something wrong was irrelevant, the only thing that was important was that I ordered her to apologize and she had directly disobeyed.

The first thing that I must stress about an apology is that it is not an acceptance of blame for an act or the acknowledgement of a wrong doing as most would perceive it. For a slave an apology is one thing, the acknowledgement that he or she has displeased the owner in some manner. It does not mean that the slave knowingly did something incorrect or that they accept that they did something wrong, it merely means that it was not their intention to displease the owner. By apologizing the slave is merely stating that they regret upsetting or displeasing the owner and that they will do every thing in their power to see that it does not happen again.

Knowing how to apologize properly is one of the most important things a slave can master. When a slave apologizes there are several things that must be present.

Genuine humility is an absolute when seeking to present a proper apology; a slave must be humble and void of all arrogance. Half the challenge of a proper apology is attitude. If an apology is not presented with the proper attitude then it is not a genuine apology; it is merely words spoken with the pretence of obtaining the desired effects.

Acceptance is another absolute when one is presenting a proper apology. By acceptance I mean, an acceptance of responsibility. To apologize without accepting the responsibility for ones actions and or words is to do so out of proper manners, it is not a true apology. There must also be an acceptance of ones fate, to understand that one has erred in some manner is only half the battle, and one must also accept the consequences for ones own actions.

An apology can be divided into several different portions, the initiation, the acclimation, the affirmation, and the alteration.

The initiation is first portion of an apology, in general it is here that the slave will state that he or she is sorry for their behavior or action or lack there of. Normally this is a short and sweet statement. For example:

"My apologizes...."
Or
"Please forgive me...."
Or
"I beg your pardon..."

The acclimation is when a slave is given the opportunity to admit to the error or offence. If the slave is unaware of the offence then a simple alteration of words will suffice. For example:

"I was not aware that your drink was empty...."
Or
"It was not my intention to displease you...."

The affirmation is the portion of a proper apology when a slave assures the owner that he or she will not repeat the offence.

"I assure you that this will not happen again...."
Or
"I will see that this does not happen again..."

The final portion in a proper apology is the alteration. During this portion a slave will step forward and accept whatever consequences the owner thinks appropriate or the slave may at this time request the opportunity to rectify the situation. For example:

"I humbly ask that you chastise my body so that I may remember this unfortunate incident..."
Or
"Please, allow me to get you a fresh drink...."

While the American style of a formal apology seems rather long and drawn out, the Oriental style is far more dramatic and drawn out.

First the position must be correct. The slave should be kneeling with its forehead pressed against the floor, arms stretched out in front of him or her with palms down flat on the floor, butt must be high in the air and the back arched to allow proper angle.

This would be an appropriate formal apology for someone who is trained in the Asian form of service.

"Please excuse this worthless creature, whom is unworthy of your presence. This creature humbly begs your merciful, esteemed self to forgive the unforgivable. This worthless creature fully acknowledges its inadequacies in its service to your esteemed self. This unworthy creature humbly beg that you chastise its unworthy self with the severest of punishments so that its soul will burn with shame and that this creature may never again transgress in such a dishonorable manner."

The slave must remain in the presented position until ordered to do so. For a true Asian form this timeframe may be several minutes even hours.

Norische

 

Speech Training (3)
Addressing Superiors

When addressing a superior remember never to assume anything. When first meeting an individual ask how he or she wishes to be addressed...for example"

"Please forgive me, I do not know how you wish to be addressed"
Or
"I apologize, I am unfamiliar with the way that you wish to be addressed."

This will show that you take nothing for granted and that you do not wish to make a uniformed mistake and perhaps offend anyone.

If you are unable to make such a request, for example there may be some individuals around that are not within the lifestyle then I suggest the old standard of addressing someone as either Ma'am or Sir, until told to do otherwise.

When in a general public setting each owner will have a preference to the way they wish to be addressed. Some will allow the slave to use their first name, some will allow the slave to address them as Mr. or Mrs. and some prefer the more polite form of Ma'am and Sir.

The manner in which I suggest is that the slave use Ma'am and Sir when in a public setting, and maintain a low tone of speech unless directed to do otherwise. A slave should never raise his or her voice, nor have a tone of annoyance or impatience in their voice.

The proper thing way for a slave to present himself or herself for introduction is slightly complicated.

This position is used when a slave is waiting for introduction. This position is proper to use both privately as well as publicly.

For this position the slave should be standing.

Feet: Feet should be approximately shoulder width apart.

Legs: Legs should be kept strait but not stiff.

Back: Back should be strait, not bowed or slouching.

Chest: The chest should be high and thrust forward.

Arms: Arms should be at the side, bent at the elbow, with the hands behind the back.

Hands: Hands should be behind the back, resting in the small of the back, with the right hand holding onto the left wrist, left hand may be relaxed but not closed.

Head: Head should be bowed slightly.

Eyes: Eyes should be cast down, the slave should look no higher that the shoulders of the superior, until told to do otherwise. A slave should never assume that the superior wishes direct eye contact, in fact it is always preferred that the slave assume that the restrictions are quite strenuous and behave accordingly.

The slave must then wait for acknowledgment. The slave should not fidget, clear his or her throat or attempt to get the superiors attention in any manner... if the superior wishes to acknowledge the slave then he or she will. The only time that it would be appropriate for a slave to attempt to get the superiors attention is if he or she is following the instructions of another. Such as "Go tell Dean that there is someone I wish him to meet, and do it quickly..." The slave has been given the directive of speed; hence he or she was given permission to gain the attention of the superior.

After a slave has been acknowledged, the slave should then make the appropriate statement...

"Begging your pardon Sir, I am unaware of how you wished to be addressed."

Upon receiving instructions on how to proceed, the slave will then state something to the affect of...

"Thank you Master Dean Sir, I have been sent to request your presence, if it is convenient for you Sir."

Remember above all else, no one will ever fault a slave for having too good of manners, only if their manners are lacking in some way.

 

Speech Training (4)
Addressing an Equal

A slave should always behave towards another individual as if the other individual is a superior until told to do otherwise, this rule would include slaves and submissives. A slave should not assume that simply because another individual is a slave that he or she has the right to be considered an equal.

A slave should not address another slave unless required to do so in order to perform a specific task or is invited to do so.

A slave must speak respectfully and use the appropriate tone at all times.

A slave should address an equal as Miss or Sir until given permission to be more familiar.

Once given permission the slave may carry on an appropriate conversation with his or her equal, as long as it does not hinder either individual from performing their duties.

Every slave or submissive out there needs someone they can talk to, as a friend, a confidante, or a mentor. Because of this it is natural for a slave to seek out individuals that they feel comfortable with. The most important thing that they must remember is that their words and actions always reflect on their Owner. Hence manners are always expected, even with a close friend.

After a slave has been given permission to address another individual on a familiar basis, the slave should still act with respect and dignity, in other words the slave should not get into arguments, giggling fits, or boisterous conversations. There is nothing more distracting for an Owner than to be sitting drinking coffee with a friend and have squeals of laughter and giggling exploding from a corner of the room.

 

Speech Training (5)
Addressing a Subordinate

Addressing a subordinate or equal should be done with the same respect that one would address a superior. If the individuals are familiar with each other there is a certain level of lax in formality that is permitted but bad manners are never acceptable.

To address someone as a familiar, for example using first names, is permitted only after permission has been sought and given. It is best to ask permission of your Owner as well as the equal and if the equal has an Owner it would be appropriate to ask that Owner as well.

In most cases it is suggested to use the title Miss and Sir for an equal, although it is advisable to ask your Owner as to what he or she would feel appropriate.

While learning how to address a subordinate or equal is indeed important, a slave must also learn what is proper and what is not proper to discuss. There are some things that should never be discussed with anyone, even a fellow slave.

Never speak ill of your Owner, unless there are legal issues or the slave is in physical danger.

Never speak ill of another slave's Owner, if you see something inappropriate go directly to your Owner and speak with him or her.

Never discuss your Owner's finances or lack there of.

Never make fun of your Owner.

Never discuss your Owner as such with anyone outside the lifestyle.

Never discuss anything that will embarrass or dishonor your Owner.

Each Owner may have specific rules and requirements for speaking with a equal or subordinate so it is best to ask him or her what their individual preferences are prior to making contact. This definitely prevents possible mishaps and perhaps even punishment.

 

Speech Training (6)
Affirmative Answers

 

When a slave gives an affirmative answer he or she can be as simple or as elaborate as the Owner wishes. Saying "yes" can be done is a vast array of different ways.

For example if the Owner asked: Are you hungry?

If the Owner prefers the slave to use a third person point of view...
"This slave is hungry, Master."
"Sir, Your slave is indeed hungry, Sir."

If the Owner prefers something a little more formal, the slave may respond with...
"Sir, only if you wish it, Sir"

If the Owner prefers something a little more Military or Absolute...
"Sir, Yes, Sir"

If the Owner prefers something a little more historic or poetic...
"As you say Sir."
"Only if it pleases you Sir."
"As you wish."

An example of a more elaborate affirmative answer would be that of the Asian style...
"Gracious Master, Thank you most humbly for your concern for this worthless creatures welfare. If it would please the most esteemed Master, this worthless creature would be most appreciative to obtain sustenance, but only if it does not inconvenience his Honorable Self."

And of course the silent smile of affirmation is always acceptable.

The slave must remember that even when stating the simplest statements he or she is still a slave; hence "sure why not..." or other such familiarities are inappropriate unless of course that is the preference of the Owner.

When an affirmation of a command or order is necessary, again one must follow the preference of the Owner; however, my preferences are...

"Of course, Ma'am"
"As you wish, Ma'am"
"Immediately, Ma'am"
and of course a simple "Yes Ma'am"

I like my answers to be short and simple, I know that some prefer long and drawn out statements but personally my time is more valuable.

What is rarely understood is that speech is a privilege not a necessity; a simple nod is all that is truly necessary to make a complete and well-understood affirmation.

Keep in mind that when you forget the simple courtesies, the privilege of speech may easily be withdrawn until one learns how to properly state even the most basic things.

 

Speech Training (7)
Negative Answers

When a slave gives a negative answer he or she can again be as simple or as elaborate as the Owner wishes. Saying "no" can be done is a vast array of different ways.

Some Owners do not allow their slave to use the word "no" or to even have the word in their vocabulary.

For example if the Owner asked: Are you hungry?

If the Owner prefers the slave to use a third person point of view...
"This slave is not hungry, Master."
"Sir, Your slave is not hungry, Sir."

If the Owner prefers something a little more formal, the slave may respond with...
"Sir, not unless you wish it, Sir"

If the Owner prefers something a little more Military or Absolute...
"Sir, No, Sir"

An example of a more elaborate negative answer would be that of the Asian style...
"Gracious Master, Thank you most humbly for your concern for this worthless creatures welfare. If it would please my most esteemed Master, this worthless creature does not require sustenance at this time, but if my most Honorable Master wishes it I would be honored to serve in some other meaningless manner."

And of course the silent casting down of eyes or the gentle shake of a head to indicate a negative response is always acceptable.

The slave must remember that even when stating the simplest statements he or she is still a slave; hence "nope..." or other such familiarities are inappropriate unless of course that is the preference of the Owner.

When responding to a command or order in a negative manner, again one must follow the preference of the Owner; however, my preferences are...

"No thank you, Ma'am"
"Not at this time, Ma'am"
"Unfortunately no, Ma'am"
and of course a simple "No Ma'am"

I like my answers to be short and simple, I know that some prefer long and drawn out statements but personally my time is more valuable.

What is rarely understood is that speech is a privilege not a necessity; a simple shake of the head is all that is truly necessary to make a complete and well-understood affirmation.

Keep in mind that when you forget the simple courtesies, the privilege of speech may easily be withdrawn until one learns how to properly state even the most basic things

 

Speech Training (8)
Asking A Question

A slave must never be afraid to ask a question; however, to ask a question in an inappropriate manner is not to be tolerated.

The first thing that a slave must understand is that many Owners do not allow for the slave to question any order, unless of course they need clarification on the order itself or some detail of the order. To question why an order is given is inappropriate and an unacceptable behavior. It is not the position of a slave to know why an Owner wishes something done, nor is it the slave's privilege to question the Owner's motives behind a behavior.

The only time that a slave may question the behaviors or order of an Owner is....

...if the order countermands a previous order given by the Owner.
...if the order places the Owner or the slave at risk.
...if the order places another individual at risk.
...if the order is illegal or may have legal ramifications to the Owner or the slave.
...if the order breaks the contract or agreement between the Owner and the slave.
...if the order will cause undue emotional, mental or physical stress to the slave.

If there is a need for clarification to an order the slave may ask for such clarification without fear of repercussions.

When a slave wishes to ask a question he or she must first get the Owner's attention.

The only valid reason for a slave to interrupt an Owner is if it is an emergency.

The proper way to get the Owner's attention is to patiently wait within the Owner's line of sight until acknowledged. If the Owner does not acknowledge the slave within a reasonable time frame and time is of an essence the slave may respectfully address the Owner. For example:

"Forgive the intrusion Sir, if I may be so bold...you stated that you wished steak for dinner tonight, may I ask if you have a preference to the type of steak or its preparation?"

or

"My apologies Sir, did you wish me to lay out your clothes prior to getting your breakfast started?"

Both examples are done with respect, without hesitation or small talk and are precise to the knowledge required by the slave.

There are exceptions of course to the formal means of asking a question, for example...

"Is there any thing I can get you Sir?"

There are also more formal means of asking a question, for example the appropriate manner to ask a question when one is trained in the Oriental style would be more like this...

"Please forgive this worthless creature for interrupting your most esteemed self. I beg that my ignorance does not shame my most honorable Master. I am ashamed that my ignorance is inconveniencing you in any manner, but I must beg for clarification on a command given to this worthless creature. Please I beg you Master, if you so desire and that I may serve you to the best of my ability, please inform me how you wish your slave to dress for the dinner party tonight?" Normally a question presented in such a formal manner is done so while the slave is on his or her knees with head bowed in humility.

A formal question should always start with an apology... something simple as not to waste the Owner's time would be preferable. For example...

...excuse me
...pardon me
...I am sorry Sir/Ma'am

The slave should then wait for acknowledgement from the Owner. Once the Owner acknowledges the slave's presence the slave should be precise and direct, speaking clearly and with respect.

If the slave wishes for extra clarification he or she may repeat the Owner's answer to his or her question once an answer is given. If the slave still is unclear of the answer then he or she may rephrase the question or state specifically that he or she does not understand.

Do keep in mind that a slave that questions to frequently may leave the impression that he or she is inexperienced, or is not confident in their own actions to follow through on a command. Make sure that a question is necessary before asking it, however it is always more desirable to ask a question than it is to make a foolish mistake.

Norische

 

Speech Training (9)
Answering The Door

This is one area that is Owner specific. Some Owners do not wish their slaves to answer the door, others demand it; some wish the slave to remain invisible, some wish the slave to act as a butler and announce a guest.

Most frequently the slave will be instructed not to answer the door if the Owner is unavailable or not present. My standing rule was, if I am not at home you do not answer the door for anyone...anyone I wish to have access to my home already has a key and they can let themselves in. The only exception to that rule was if I was expecting someone to come by or a delivery and could not be present at the time, although in such circumstances I would inform the slave of exactly what to do.

If the Owner wishes the slave to answer the door the slave should remember to be in situational appropriate attire. By this I mean that opening the door naked in a collar and shackles when the Jehovah Witnesses knock on the door may be amusing and it very well may solve the issue of those annoying door to door salesmen as well. However, it would not be appropriate to answer the door in such attire when the Owner's mother came for a visit. A slave should always keep a dressing gown or appropriate clothing that can quickly be put on, near the door.

The slave should check and see who is at the door prior to opening it, if the individual appears to be questionable or undesirable the slave should alert the Owner and NOT answer the door themselves.

If the individual is familiar, then the slave should open the door with a smile and great the guest. The slave address the individual by the desired title or by name at all times, if the slave is not familiar with the individual's name then Sir or Ma'am is always appropriate.

If the individual is not familiar, the slave should open the door but block the entrance to the house until the identity or intentions of the individual is know. A smile and a simple "Yes?" is enough to get the ball rolling on that issue. The individual will normally state who they are, who they wish to speak to or their intentions at this point.

Smile "Yes?"
"Hi there, I was wondering if John was available?"
"If I may have your name, I will be happy to see if he is available?"
"Sorry, My name is Keith Camble."
"Thank you Sir, If you would be so kind as to wait one moment, I will be right back."
Clothes the door. Go directly to the Owner and announce the guest, wait for instructions and then quickly return to the individual.
"Thank you for being so patient Mr. Camble, If you would please follow me, Sir."
Slave takes the guest to the Owner or to an area specified by the Owner and then makes every attempt to see to the comfort of the guest.
"Mr. Felps will be with you in a moment Sir, is there anything I may get you?"
"No thank you."
"Very well, if you will excuse me for a moment, I will let Mr. Felps know that you are waiting."
"Thank you."

The slave should then go to the Owner and see if he or she needs assistance, for example if they are getting dressed or grooming and need a hand. Also the slave should utilize this time to see if the Owner wishes any form of refreshment to be served or dinning arrangements to be made.

Every Owner has a level of formality within their own home that they feel comfortable with. Some have little to no formal presentation, in such circumstances a slave may answe

 

Speech Training (10)
Answering The Phone

Again this is an area that is Owner specific. Each Owner has a specific way they wish the phone to be answered and whether or not they wish the slave to answer the phone at all.

If the slave is to answer the phone then he or she must be prepared to do so, always keep a phone message pad and working pen available at every phone.

The slave should first check the caller id (if applicable) to see who is calling. If the number is unfamiliar the Owner may prefer that the answering machine take the message or that the phone is left unanswered. If the number is one that is recognized but not approved for answer the slave should note the number and name of the individual and the time of the call and inform the Owner of the call at the appropriate time. If the individual has been approved then the slave should answer the call as quickly as possible, never letting the phone ring more than 3 times if possible.

The slave should have a standard greeting that has been approved by the Owner. For example...

"Fredrick's residence..."
or
"Mr. Fredrick's residence..."

these are both a greeting and an announcement, so they both work quite well. However if the Owner does not wish to disclose the name of the residence then a simple "Hello?" will work.

After a greeting the slave should attempt to verify whom is calling, and the nature of the call...without being nosey that is. For example....

"Fredrick's residence..."
"Hi there, this is Keith is John or Shane there?
"I do apologize Sir, they are unavailable at this time. I would be happy to convey a message for them if you wish."
"Yeah, ah... tell John that I still need to pick up the wench for the truck and I would appreciate some help from him on getting it loaded onto the truck."
"Very good Sir, and do you have a contact phone number you wish me to note?"
"That's ok, he has the number, I will be at the shop until around 6:00 tonight so have him call be before then."
"I will give him this message as soon as possible Sir, is there anything else I can do for you?"
"Nope"
"Very well Sir, Thank you."
The slave can then disconnect the call knowing that he or she has all the pertinent information necessary to provide to their Owner.

The slave should not be nosey or selective as to the message or the caller. They should always sound pleasant and helpful. A slave should always remember that he or she represents their Owner, even over the phone to a bill collector.

If it is an unwanted caller like a solicitor, the slave should state something along these lines.

"Franklin's residence.
"Hi there, this is John from Mediacom and we wish to offer you a wonderful new program for high speed cable internet, high definition cable, and unlimited long distance service on one bill, at a remarkably reduced rate."
"I do apologize Sir, but this phone number is listed not to receive solicitations. If I may, may I have your name and a contact phone number for your agency."
"Ah, If you would allow me to tell you a little about our program...
"I do not wish to interrupt Sir, however I did just state that we are not to receive such solicitations. Hence I need your name, and contact information so that I may report this solicitation, if you refuse to give me that information then I shall simply note John from Mediacom."
"Ma'am.."
"Sir, I do not wish to continue this conversation further, I request that you remove this number from your solicitations and notify your superior that I will be reporting your agency as well as yourself. Thank you very much for your call. I am disconnecting this call at this time."

The slave can then disconnect the call and have no worries of ill manners. Unfortunately, most solicitors are not so polite or so patient.

 

Speech Training (11)
Introducing Another Individual

When introducing an individual the slave should take a few things into consideration prior to performing the introduction.

The first thing to take into consideration is the preference of the Owner. If the Owner wishes a formal introduction or a simple respectable one, whatever the circumstances the slave should always base his or her actions on the orders of the Owner.

The second thing to take into consideration is location. A slave should always base the form and delivery of an introduction on the location in which the delivery is going to be presented.

The third thing to take into consideration is the individuals being introduced, is the individual within the lifestyle or not, is it a business acquaintance, is it a close friend or a family member. Each type of individual should be presented in a different manner.

When introducing an individual within the lifestyle the slave should first find out how the individual wishes to be addressed. For example... "Pardon my ignorance, I am unfamiliar how you wished to be addressed." When given an appropriate answer, the slave should then ask a secondary question. "Thank you Sir, Also Master Dean, do you have a preference as to the manner in which you wish to be introduced to my Owner?" This will cover all possible protocol and make sure no error is made on the behalf of the slave.

If there is no opportunity to ask such questions then the slave should assume a formal introduction is appropriate. For example: "Pardon my intrusion Sir. If I may introduce Master James O'Seer, he works with LeatherLovers from Michigan. Master O'Seer this is my Sir, Craig Harrox."

You will notice the title of Master... the reason for this is so that your Owner will know the social status of the individual and be made aware of the fact that the individual is within the lifestyle. You will also notice that on the secondary presentation that the slave did not address the Owner as Master, and gave the Owner's full name. The reason for this is because it that the slave's statement "this is my Sir" covers all titles necessary, also unless the Owner specifically wishes others to address him or her by a specific title then no title should be applied.

If the individual is not in the lifestyle a slave should present the individual in a more causal manner. "Sir, may I introduce Mr. James O'Seer; Mr. O'Seer, may I introduce my colleague Craig Harrox."

If the individual is a family member, something casual is best. "Sir, may I introduce my sister Kathy Lewis, Kathy this is Craig Harrox." Family is always awkward but a slave should always specify the family relationship and never assume that the Owner has any clue who the individual is, even if the slave has pictures of the person plastered all over and has spoke non-stop for weeks about getting together with his or her sister. Also it is convenient to inform the Owner how much the family member knows about the relationship by how you introduce the Owner. You will notice no title or hint of a relationship is indicated in the above statement. This is a quick, discrete manner to explain to the Owner that the individual has no clue of the relationship between the two individuals. If the slave states, "Kathy this is my Owner, Craig Harrox.." Then the Owner will be made aware that the family member is aware of the slave's lifestyle choices. If the slave states, "Kathy this is my Boss, Craig Harrox..." Then the Owner will know the family believes that the slave has some form of business relationship with the Owner. If the slave states, "Kathy this is the guy I have been telling you about, Craig...." Then the Owner may assume that the slave informed the family member of some form of relationship but more than likely the family things something along the line of romance.

As to presentation, some Owners wish the slave to approach and kneel prior to being acknowledged. Once acknowledged the slave then rises and extends an arm toward the individual to be presented with palm open and up. The slave should stand to the side of both individuals, not between them; preferably to the right side of the Owner, approximately an arms length away.

Some Owners wish the slave to be behind the Owner and to the right when presentation is made, so that there are no distractions from the individual that is being introduced.

Presentation is something best left to the Owner and his or her own preference.

Just a tip... a slave should make sure he or she speaks clearly and with enough volume for the Owner to understand the individual's name. An improperly enunciated name can be extremely embarrassing, and to present the opportunity for someone else to be forced to correct the Owner is unwise at best.

 

Speech Training (12)
Language Limitations
Vulgar or Disrespectful Language

I will simply state that most Owners prefer that vulgar or socially inappropriate language be illuminated from the common vocabulary of the slave. I find that it is rare that an owner enjoys a slave to use racial slander, or profanity.

It is appropriate for all slaves to consider racial slang, commonly considered profane words, and jargon as undesirable and make every attempt to remove them from the standards of speech.

Disrespectful language can be described as any word, phrase, tone or inflection that the Owner views as disrespectful or inappropriate. Due to the wide range of interpretation on this general definition it is best for a slave to go by the basic standards put down by his or her own Owner.

Some general examples of disrespectful language...

Some Owners restrict the word "No."

Not using appropriate titles may also be view as disrespectful.

Phrases such as "Yeah...", "Whatever...", "Bite Me...", "Ah huh...", and "Yup..." can also be viewed as disrespectful.

Whining, grumbling, mumbling and raising ones voice is also considered disrespectful.

Using a language that is not understood by all present is also considered rude and disrespectful, unless of course you do not know how to speak the language they use as a primary language. Example: Speaking Cantonese when the common language is French would be inappropriate; unless of course you cannot speak French, and then my personal preference is that the slave should remain silent.

If a phrase or word is considered inappropriate, rude or disrespectful by the Owner the word should immediately be monitored, and removed from the slave's vocabulary without question.

 

Presentation (1)
Appearance

The first point that should be made about a slave's appearance is that the slave is always a direct reflection of the Owner.

While the Owner ordains the general appearance of the slave, the slave must always present him or herself in the best manner possible to compliment the Owner.

A simple example of this would be if the Owner prefers the slave to remain nude in his or her presence. The slave should make sure that he or she is well groomed, and clean at all possible times in order to provide the Owner with the most desirable slave possible. For myself I require all my slaves to be clean-shaven, this means males and females. Hence if a slave presents him or herself without being clean-shaven then I consider their appearance to be inappropriate and remove them from my presence until they present themselves in a manner that I find appealing. There are of course exceptions to every rule, for example if the slave has been sick or has some form of medical reason why he or she is unable to shave.

If the owner enjoys the slave wearing a specific uniform or costume then the slave should make every effort to make sure that the appropriate clothing is available and in good repair at all times. Simple things like ironing hems and pleats, using a lint brush to remove stray hair or particles, cutting any loose threads, and making sure that the article of clothing has no stains or damage is an excellent start.

Shoes should always be well kept, polished, and odor free.

Hose should be run free and of a proper fit.

Underclothing should be kept fit and clean. There is nothing more disturbing than to go to a get-together with other lifestyle friends and decide you would like to play with your slave but when he or she starts to undress you find they are wearing discolored, stained or ripped underwear and now all of your colleagues have seen your slave's pathetic attire as well. If it has a hole in it or stains that cannot be removed, throw it away.

White shirts should be kept white. It is rather ugly for someone to wear what once was a white shirt that is now a kind of mused gray. Bluing works wonders on bringing the white back in old, faded or discolored whites.

If it doesn't fit, don't wear it. A slave cannot serve his or her owner well if they are afraid to move. If the jeans are so tight that you have to lie down to put them on, or if you eat you will not be able to button them then do not wear them.

If the item of clothing is questionable always seek the Owner's opinion. Also a good frame of reference is that if in doubt, bring a change of clothing or something to slip on over the clothing just incase.

If you are to accompany your Owner out dancing, by all means wear the dress shoes, but take along a pair of comfortable shoes to change into just incase. A slave should never inconvenience his or her Owner by complaining about sore feet, when it could have easily been remedied by a little forethought.

One thing that I found very convenient, especially when I had a female slave, is to keep an emergency change in the car. I have the slave keep a small carryon with a change of clothing, including shirt, pants, underclothing, shoes, brush, toothbrush, toiletries, feminine products, baby wipes, and a jacket or sweater in the car at all times...and to be quite honest I cannot tell you how many times I have been thrilled that I take that simple precaution. It is the slave's responsibility to make sure the clothing is weather appropriate and taken care of.

Each Owner will have his or her own specific fetish, or desire when it comes to the appearance of their slave. The best thing a slave can do is to learn the preferences of the Owner and always strive to present the best possible appearance that he or she can.

 

Presentation (2)
Casual Appearance
By Norische

Casual appearance refers to the general attire that a slave is expected to present on a standard basis. Some Owners prefer the slave to be nude and hence casual would be irrelevant. However, some Owners expect a slave to wear a certain style of clothing or certain uniform on formal occasions.

Casual normally refers to daily wear clothing, such as jeans, t-shirts, jogging pants, shorts, etc.

Sandals, tennis shoes, or loafers are considered casual shoes, although some Owners prefer their female slaves to wear heels at all times, or their male slaves to wear well shined boots at all times.

The best thing a slave can do is to ask up front what the Owner considers casual clothing, and if and when it is appropriate to wear such clothing.

Things that are not considered casual...

Clothing with holes or stains

Extremely oversized, "Getto or Gansta" style clothing

Fetish wear

Lingerie or slutty clothing

 

Presentation (3)
Formal Appearance
By Norische

Formal, what is formal? Formal attire normally refers to eveningwear, or clothing worn for formal occasions.

Black tie: Formal occasion, males should wear tuxedoes; females are expected to wear evening gowns, cocktail dresses or dressy evening separates.

White tie: Ultra formal. Males should be in all white tuxedoes; females should be in floor length evening gowns.

Formal dress: Normally means the same thing as Black tie. However, for males black dress pants and a black shirt without a tie are acceptable; and for females an appropriate cocktail dress or dressy evening separates will do quite nicely.

Cocktail attire: Short elegant dresses for females, and suits for males. Dark suits are considered more appropriate if the affair is after 6pm.

While most slaves do not think about the necessity of formal wear or think they will ever need to know how to present at a formal occasion, a slave should be prepared for anything. Some Owners like to have a ready and appropriate companion if the should arise. Why worry about getting a date when you have a perfectly good slave sitting at home waiting for your command. Hence if the slave is trained appropriately, he or she may be allowed the privilege of accompanying the Owner on special occasions.

It should be noted that with formal attire, personal grooming is absolute. While some Owners prefer their females to wear makeup and have their hair and nails done, others prefer their females to be less ostentatious. Also some Owners prefer their males to be clean-shaven for formal occasions, others do not mind facial hair. Hence, a slave should never assume the specifications desired by the Owner without clarification. It is always an appropriate choice to ask the Owners opinion prior to making a mistake that may cause unfortunate delays or ruin the evening totally.

 

Presentation (4)
Standing at the Ready
By Norische

When training in any form, the first thing that the slave must understand is that each owner is unique. Hence, the requirements of the owner are unique as well. However there are several basic positions that are common through out the BDSM realm. Each owner may have a modified version of a position that they prefer, or they may call the position by a different name. The position "Standing At The Ready" is one that I find to be the most basic, and hence the first position that I train.

This position is used when a slave is waiting for instructions or waiting to serve. This position is proper to use both privately as well as publicly.

For this position the slave should be standing.

Feet: Feet should be approximately shoulder width apart.

Legs: Legs should be kept strait but not stiff.

Back: Back should be strait, not bowed or slouching.

Chest: The chest should be high and thrust forward.

Arms: Arms should be at the side, bent at the elbow, with the hands behind the back.

Hands: Hands should be behind the back, resting in the small of the back, with the right hand holding onto the left wrist, left hand may be relaxed but not closed.

Head: Head should be strait at a 45-degree level.

Eyes: Eyes should be forward and level. An alteration to this would be to have the slave keeping the owner in sight at all times, waiting for any sign that they services are required.

If there is a medical reason, such as arthritis in the shoulders, that a slave cannot perform this position as described a modified version is acceptable to meet medical needs.

Norische

 

Presentation (5)
Kneeling at the Ready
By Norische

This position is primarily used when a slave is kneeling waiting for instructions or waiting to serve. This position is good when you have placed the slave in a corner or when you want their full attention.

For this position the slave should be kneeling.

When going from "Standing At The Ready" to "Kneeling At The Ready" the slave should start with the right leg and smoothly move into a kneeling position.

Ankles: Ankles should be crossed with right over left.

Knees: Knees should be spread shoulder length apart.

Back: Back should be strait not slouching. The back should not be stiff or bowed, it should be relaxed.

Chest: The chest should be high and thrust forward.

Arms: Arms should be at the side, bent at the elbow, with the hands behind the back.

Hands: Hands should be behind the back, resting in the small of the back, with the right hand holding onto the left wrist, left hand should be relaxed, not closed.

Head: Head should be strait at a 45-degree angle.

Eyes: Eyes should be forward and level. An alteration to this would be to have the slave maintaining eye contact with the owner at all times, waiting for any sign that their services are required.

If there are medical reasons that this position cannot be maintained, modifications of this position are acceptable.

Norische

 

Presentation (6)
Chastisement
By Norische

This position is meant to be humbling by its very nature. This position works well when you are being force to chastise or correct the slave.

For this position the slave should be kneeling.

Legs: The legs should be spread, bent at the knees.

Knees: Knees should be bent and spread wide.

Ankles: Ankles should not be crossed.

Feet: The feet should be flat against the floor (as flat as possible).

Back: The back should be straight, not slouching... with the buttocks resting on the ankles

Chest: Chest should be relaxed.

Arms: Arms should be relaxed with the hands resting face up on the knees.

Hands: Hands should be resting on the knees, palm up with the hands open and relaxed.

Head: Head should be lowered slightly.

Eyes: Eyes should be cast at the ground; the slave should not raise his or her eyes unless instructed to do so.

One alteration that may be preferred by the owner is for the slave to maintain eye contact at all times...this way the slave can see the disappointment or emotion in the owners eyes.

If there are medical reasons that this position cannot be maintained, modification of this position are acceptable.

Norische

 

Presentation (7)
Apology
By Norische

An appropriate apology is a combination of words, attitude and stance. A well structured, well thought out apology is half the battle...however the right amount of humility added to this recipe of perfection make the end results that much more impressive.

When choosing a position for the presentation of an apology one wants one that shows humility and remorse. Hence the first step is to lower ones self before the owner.

Some feel that the presentation is more impressive if the slave is lying on their stomach with their arm extended. I have my own preference as far as this position is concerned.
A slave should always perform an apology on their knees; even the most basic of apologies should be done in a humbling position.

For this position the slave should start by kneeling. Then the slave should then assume a modified knee/chest position. This position is known as Kowtow or Koutou.

Feet: The feet should be strait behind the slave; ankles are not to be crossed.

Legs: Knees bent, and spread.

Back: The back should be bowed to allow the buttock to be as high as possible and the chest as low as possible.

Chest: The chest should be as close to the floor as possible.

Arms: The arms should be out stretched in front of the slave; they should be straight but not stiff.

Hands: Hands should be flat on the ground.

Head: The head should be down with the forehead touching the ground.

Eyes: The eyes should be closed or cast down at all times. This slave is unworthy of the owners look.

The slave should say nothing until the owner gives the slave permission to speak. The slave should maintain this position until the owner gives permission for the slave to rise. When permission to rise is given the slave should slowly rise up to where his or her buttocks are resting on the ankles, head should be down and eyes cast down, hands should be face up on the knees, back should strait but not stiff. The slave should not look up unless ordered to do so.

The slave must stay in the secondary position until told to do otherwise.
When the owner gives permission for the slave to be released from the second position the slave should then lower him or herself back into the original position and approach the owners shoes or feet. The slave should wait for permission and then place a single kiss on each shoe, starting with the owner's right shoe. The slave must not mar or smudge the footwear in any manner. Then the slave may rise; the slave must then thank the owner for his or her generosity and mercy.

Norische

 

Presentation (8)
Show Yourself

This is a series of three separate positions joined together to create one fluid motion. This position is primarily used for the inspection and review of a slave. The movement from one position to the next should be done gracefully without any wasted motion. The first thing that the slave must do is remove all clothing, including jewelry, hair decorations, and shoes (unless told specifically to do otherwise), this position must be done completely nude.

This position should start with the PRESENT position.

For this position the slave should be standing.

Feet: Feet should be approximately shoulder width apart.

Legs: Legs should be kept strait but not stiff.

Back: Back should be strait, not bowed or slouching.

Chest: The chest should be high and thrust forward.

Arms: Arms should be bent at the elbow, raised to shoulder height.

Hands: Hands should be behind the head; they may either be clasped loosely or merely touching.

Head: Head should be strait at a 45-degree level.

Eyes: Eyes should be forward and level.

The slave should hold this position to the count of 10 or until told to continue. For the second position in this series the slave should turn and face away from the Owner.

Feet: Feet should be approximately shoulder width apart.

Legs: Legs should be kept strait but not stiff.

Back: The slave is to be bent at the waste, but the back should be bowed to stick the buttocks as far into the air as possible.

Arms: Arms should be straight, but not stiff.

Hands: The slave should grasp his or her ankles; if this is too difficult it is acceptable to rest the hands slightly above the knees.

Head: Head should be back, so that the Owner can see the slave's face.

Eyes: Eyes should be forward and level.

The slave should hold this position to the count of 10 or until told to continue. For the third and final position in this series the slave should turn once again and face the Owner. Starting with the right leg the slave should lower him or herself into a kneeling position.

For this position the slave should be kneeling.

Legs: The legs should be spread, bent at the knees.

Knees: Knees should be bent and spread wide.

Ankles: Ankles should not be crossed.

Feet: The feet should be flat against the floor (as flat as possible).

Back: The back should be straight, not slouching... with the buttocks resting on the ankles

Chest: Chest should be relaxed.

Arms: Arms should be relaxed with the hands resting face up on the knees.

Hands: Hands should be resting on the knees, palm up with the hands open and relaxed.

Head: Head should be strait and level.

Eyes: Eyes should be forward.

The slave should stay in this position until told to do otherwise.

The movements between each position must be done with grace and ease, there should be no jerking or fidgeting.

 

Presentation (9)
Present

 

This position is used primarily for inspection purposes. A slave should understand that this position is very common and should be executed with exact ease and precision. A slave should not be stiff or fidgeting.

For this position the slave should be standing.

Feet: Feet should be approximately shoulder width apart.

Legs: Legs should be kept strait but not stiff.

Back: Back should be strait, not bowed or slouching.

Chest: The chest should be high and thrust forward.

Arms: Arms should be bent at the elbow, raised to shoulder height.

Hands: Hands should be behind the head, they may either be clasped loosely or merely touching.

Head: Head should be strait at a 45-degree level.

Eyes: Eyes should be forward and level. An alteration to this would be to have the slave keeping the owner in sight at all times, waiting for any sign that they services are required.

If there is a medical reason, such as arthritis in the shoulders, that a slave cannot perform this position as described a modified version is acceptable to meet medical needs.

 

Presentation (10)
Public

When presenting in public a slave must remember that the general public did not consent to being involved in the relationship between the slave and Owner. Hence, discretion is appropriate. A slave must remember that he or she is not using discretion because he is embarrassed or ashamed of his or her standing, but that discretion is used out of consideration for those around that would not understand. Once again a slave should be reminded that every behavior, every action, even his or her appearance reflects directly on the Owner. Keeping this in mind at all times can avoid unfortunate and embarrassing mistakes.

The general rule on public appearance is manners. While is may seem like an ancient concept it is still appropriate and expected. However, some compensation is made for gender.

A male slave is expected to open the door at all times, irrelevant of the gender of the Owner. A female slave should ask prior if she is expected to do so, on a standard a female slave will follow behind an Owner and not open the door, except to pass though.

When opening a vehicle door, the same basic standards are acceptable. A male slave should always open the door for the Owner; a female in normally not expected to do so. Some Owners do not wish a female slave to exit the vehicle until he or she opens the door and releases the slave.

When a slave is walking with the Owner a basic rule to follow is rather simple. To the right and three steps back, a slave should be within arms reach at all times, but should not crowd the Owner. Also some Owners wish the slave to be on the left. I personally am right handed so if I ask the slave to hand me something it is more convenient to have them on my right side. The only time a slave should get closer or make body contact with an Owner, such as holding hands, or linking arms is if the Owner initiates such behavior. When there is a large crowd and the slave may get separated from the Owner or if it is a formal occasion the Owner might want to have that physical contact to assure the slave's safety or for appearances sake.

When eating at a restaurant. A slave should stand at the end of the table until told to sit, or showed what seat is appropriate. A slave should never sit before the Owner, unless the slave is a female and it is a formal occasion where the Owner has pulled the chair out for her to sit. Then the Owner is initiating a command and the slave should follow through appropriately. A slave should never order first, in fact it is common practice for the Owner to order for both him or herself and the slave. If the Owner chooses to allow the slave to order for him or herself then the slave should wait until the Owner has made his or her order and then choose an item that is of equal or less value. In other words if the Owner orders the Chicken Fried Steak at 5.95 the slave should not order the Lobster and Sirloin at 19.95. It would be appropriate if the slave did not know what he or she should order to state, "I honestly do not know what to get, do you have any suggestions?", or "By all means please order for me, I do not know what I wish." This will give the Owner an opportunity to point out two or three things that would be acceptable financially and allow the slave to choose from those items. Some slaves cannot make such choices in a timely manner, in fear or making a mistake or choosing incorrectly...hence under those circumstances the Owner may wish to give the slave two or three options automatically, and have them choose from that simple set. In that manner the slave will know that the Owner has already agreed to those items and a choice of any of the ones presented would be acceptable. Another thing to point out is that a slave should never request an alcoholic beverage, if the Owner wishes the slave to have a alcoholic beverage then he or she will order such for the slave. A slave should also allow the Owner to take care of things such as the bill, and any gratuities necessary.

If for some reason the food or service is unacceptable the slave should make the Owner aware discretely and allow the Owner to judge if the circumstances warrant further attention.

If the slave needs to excuse him or herself to relieve themselves, it is appropriate for the slave to ask permission to be excused, again discretion is expected. A slave can simply say "With your permission Sir, may I be excused for a moment." This will allow the Owner to know that it is a personal need and still not be inappropriate to the general public.

Addressing an Owner is another area that should be covered. A general rule is to ask the Owner how he or she wishes to be addressed in public. Most Owners will require a slave to use "Ma'am" or "Sir" or perhaps their "Mr. Fredrick" or "Ms. Harris". I normally prefer my slaves to address me as Ma'am, this way it is respectable and quite common hence easily overlooked by the general public. I would suggest that phrases like "Master, sir..." "Your Lordship..." and "Mistress..." be kept in private, it might cause more than a curious glance and ruin an otherwise pleasant evening.

Carrying packages is always the responsibility of the slave, even a female slave to a male Owner. This is also true for coats and luggage. A slave should never bring anything with him or her that will become encumber some or a nuisance, or impede his or her ability to serve the Owner in any way.

One last thing that I would like to address, while some people feel that it is appropriate for a slave to kneel or assume a specific position to an Owner; it is not considered appropriate protocol to have your slave kneel before you while you try a necklace on her. Nor is it appropriate to make a slave eat off of your plate or stand next to the table and serve while you eat. Public displays of submission are appropriate only when all those present have agreed to such.

 

Presentation (11)
Social Functions

By social function I mean a function or gathering within the BDSM realm. While the world outside the BDSM lifestyle does need attention; there are a few special rules and notifications that pertain primarily to this realm that would not be considered anywhere else.

The first thing that needs to be considered is the location of the event. If the event is held in a public venue then the mandates for public functions should be observed. Even if all present are within the lifestyle, public is still public.

If the event is a closed or private arrangement then a new set of rules apply.

The first point to be made is apparel; the slave should ask the Owner prior to getting dressed. Since this is an opportunity to bring out the fetish wear and to enjoy a little erotic show and tell, perhaps the Owner may choose a rather risqué outfit. Or the Owner may wish to present a very proper even formal display and require evening attire. The choice of clothing is definitely best left to the Owner since the variations are so wonderfully unlimited.

The second point should be the responsibility of the slave. What is the slave expected to do during the evening? Is the slave expected to assist the host or hostess with serving, or not? Should the slave make arrangements for some type of refreshments or bring anything for the host/hostess?

Next the slave should ask the Owner what level of protocol is expected for the evening. This will tell the slave what is expected and what is forbidden. In lower protocol situations a slave may be allowed to socialize to some degree. In high protocol a slave is not allowed beyond arms length, may not raise his or her eyes, and may not speak or respond unless directed to do so.

Under normal circumstances I prefer my slaves to keep their eyes up and focused on me. That way if I am in need of their service they are aware immediately and I do not have to do something to gain their attention. However, some Owners restrict a slave to looking no higher than the level of a man's boots, it is an enforcement of humility and respect.

A slave should never speak unless spoken to, and only speak if given proper permission.

When speaking a slave should always keep his or her voice barely above a whisper and speak in a respectful and appropriate manner.

When addressing an individual the slave should use relaxed formal protocol. In other words Ma'am and Sir. By following this simple protocol the slave will never inappropriately address a slave as an Owner or show a lack of respect to an Owner. It is always best to err on the side of manners.

A slave should stay within arms reach of the Owner at all times; it is the slave's responsibility to be available at a moments notice.

If a slave is permitted to mingle or move about the room he or she should always inform the Owner where they will be and keep the Owner within plain sight so that if the Owner requires their service they are available immediately.

A slave should never assume that he or she is allowed to use the furniture (if available), it is appropriate for the slave to take his or her place at the feet of the Owner once the Owner has taken a seat. If sitting on the floor beside the Owner would cause problems with other individuals, such as blocking others from movement, the slave should stand to the right and behind the Owners chair. If the Owner allows, the slave may take a seat, but only after the Owner gives specific permission.

A slave should never approach another individual without permission; this is unacceptable for either a slave or an Owner. If a slave sees a friend and wishes to go up to him or her, it is appropriate for the slave to request permission from the Owner and then and only then may the slave make contact.

A slave should always notify the Owner immediately if someone touches him or her in an inappropriate manner, or is rude or disrespectful to the slave. Also just because the individual is a slave does not mean that he or she is required to serve anyone but his or her Owner. Hence if an individual orders the slave to get them a drink, unless a previous arrangement has been made with the slave's Owner or the slave's Owner is the host(es) of the gathering the slave should respectfully decline and inform their Owner immediately.

If anyone attempts to punish, reprimand or harass the slave in any manner the slave should tell the Owner immediately.

The slave should make sure that the Owner is comfortable and well cared for. By this I mean that the slave should take notice if the Owner appears to need a drink or may wish to leave, or step outside for a breath of fresh air. Being ever vigilant can make an otherwise disastrous evening run smoothly. Also a slave should never see to his or her own needs prior to seeing if the Owner has any needs of their own. In other words the slave should not get him or herself a drink if they have not asked the Owner if he or she wishes one first.

In case of emergency, such as the Owner gets sick or passes out, it has happened before; the slave should know in advance who to go to for help and where all the emergency exits are.

A slave should always be patient and never attempt to rush the Owner or insinuate that he or she is bored or wishes to leave. Likewise the slave should be ready to go the moment the Owner wishes to leave.

If the slave needs to use the restroom the slave should wait until an appropriate moment and ask permission. The slave should never interrupt or attempt to disrupt the Owner's conversation. The slave should never do what is commonly called "the pee pee dance" or draw attention to him or herself.

The slave is responsible for all of the Owner's and the slave's belongings and should make sure that all of the clothing (coats, purses, etc.) is gathered together and maintained. If the Owner has brought with them a collection of "toys" to scene with, then the slave is responsible for the care and safety of these items as well.

If the Owner elects to scene with the slave, the slave is responsible to make sure that he or she is available at a moments notice and has everything necessary for the scene. It is the slave's responsibility to lay out the items as well as to pack the items back into their container. One quick note...it is always best to ask the Owner what items they wished packed or if they have specific items that need to be added to the "toybox". That way the slave does not make the unfortunate mistake of assuming what the Owner wants to do, or leaving home some vital piece of equipment.

Also if the Owner has the slave pack a "toybox" to take the slave should assume that they will play and make every effort to make sure they are prepared, or that if for some reason that he or she cannot scene the Owner is made aware immediately. It is always a good idea at this time to ask if the Owner has any specific requirements for the slave's preparation that night...such as no hair spray or perfume if there is going to be a fire scene, or shaving the body if there is going to be wax play. If the Owner does not give specific orders then the slave should be prepared for any form of play...it is always better to be prepared than to spoil the Owner's fun with an inconvenient miscalculation or error.

If the slave sees any behavior that he or she views as questionable, such as someone abusing another individual, they should tell his or her Owner immediately, and let them deal with it.

 

Presentation (12)
Private

The first thing to address is what exactly is Private. Private is when the Owner and slave are within their residence. Normally this also refers to the fact that only the Owner and slave are present but this point can be negotiated if there are multiple Owners such as a couple or if there are multiple slaves.

There are several issues associated with basic behavior that are strictly based on the Owner's preference and the requirements of the household as well as the general duties of the slave. However there are basic topics that should be covered and protocols that should be followed based on the Owner's demands.

Appearance:

Clothing: Some Owners prefer a slave to be nude; others prefer a uniform or costume. A slave should always get verification on any clothing before making a rather inappropriate mistake. If a slave is unsure of the appropriate clothing to wear, it is always acceptable to ask, never assume.

Hygiene: Most Owners have basic hygiene rules they expect their slave to follow; if no such rules have been placed it is always preferable to be over cautious than neglectful. A slave should shower each day and wash their hair as often as necessary, usually two to three times a week. Shaving is also a basic ritual that is based on the Owner's preference. The general preference is that males are to be clean-shaven on face and genitals, however some Owner's prefer the slick athletic look or the more natural masculine look so it is wise to ask for specifics. Females are almost always required to be clean-shaven full body; this would include any facial hair, armpits, genitals and legs. Some Owner's require their slaves to do a thorough cleaning both inside and out each day, that way the slave is available for any form of use required... this would require an enema, as well as a douche for females along with the basic shower. Brushing of the teeth should be done at least twice a day, and if the slave is allowed to smoke it is appropriate that the slave brush their teeth more often or use mouthwash in between brushings. Just a note...some Owners do not allow their slaves to take bathes, only showers so it is again wise to ask before hand.

Makeup: This is a very important area to cover and is frequently overlooked. Some Owners expect their slave to be perfectly made up, with complete make up, nails and hair. Other Owners do not allow their slaves to wear makeup, or nail polish...infact if it goes beyond simple body lotion and underarm deodorant it is considered vain and inappropriate. The best thing a female slave can do is to keep it simple, unless specifically told to do otherwise.

Collar: Most slaves have two collars. One collar for everyday general wear, or a work collar; and one for all other occasions, or a play or scene collar. Most everyday collars are made of metal, this way it never has to be removed, even in the shower. It may be as simple as an ankle bracelet or as complex as a heavy dog collar. The one thing about the collar that the slave must remember is that it does and always will, belong to the Owner. It is a symbol of Ownership and of pride and should be treated with the utmost respect; a slave should never remove his or her own collar without explicit orders to do so.

Household:
Furniture: A slave should never assume that they are permitted to use any furniture unless given specific authorization to do so. The slave should expect to sit on the floor (unless physical problems do not permit it). Some Owners have a specific chair, stool or pillow for their slave to use, other wise the slave must use the floor. Some Owners do not allow a slave to eat at the table; the slave must eat while standing at the counter or in a separate room.

Sleeping: A slave should not expect to be permitted to sleep with the Owner, the Owner may or may not allow this but a slave should never expect such a privilege. Slaves are normally given separate sleeping arrangements, such as a separate room or if they are particularly blessed they may be permitted to have a pallet at the end of the Owner's bed. Some Owners do not allow a slave to sleep on a bed, only a pallet or pad on the floor; if the slave is allowed a bed he or she should never take this generosity for granted, for it can easily be taken away.

Bathroom: A slave should clarify with the Owner as to the specifics of the facilities to use and how they are to be used. An Owner may not allow a slave to utilize the same bathroom that the Owner himself or herself uses. The Owner may require that the slave lift the seat and use the bare porcelain. The slave may also be required to keep the door open, as modesty is not permitted in the presence of the Owner. There are several stipulations that may be in effect where the bathroom is concerned and hence this is one area that definitely needs the Owners specification or the slave may find him or herself wearing a diaper or being required to go outside to relieve themselves. One more point on this issue, it is appropriate to ask to go to the restroom before doing so. While some Owners do not require it, it is always appropriate to assume that they will require the slave to do so...rather than to make an error in protocol.

Electronics: A slave should never assume that he or she would be allowed to watch TV, play video games, use a computer or watch movies. These activities are rewards and privileges they are not necessities. It is a privilege to get to sit at the Owner's feet and watch television, if a slave were to act bored or as if he or she does not like what is being watched this privilege can easily be revoked. One thing that should be made very clear, any privilege that is being abused, such as watching television instead of washing dishes, should and will be taken away. The length of time that the slave will be banned from such privilege will depend on the severity of the offence, the frequency of the offence and of course the desire of the Owner.

Answering the phone: A slave should never answer the phone unless specifically ordered and trained to do so. That is what god created answering machines for.

Answering the door: A slave should never answer the door, unless specifically ordered and trained to do so. If the Owner instructs the slave to answer the door, the slave should always assume that the individual on the other side of that door has no clue about the Owner's lifestyle and act and dress appropriately. While it may be amusing to scare the wits out of the Jehovah Witnesses it is not amusing when the slave realizes that one of those Jehovah Witnesses also works with the Owner.

Smoking: It is standard that a slave is not allowed to smoke. Although some generous Owners will allow a slave to smoke, most have some provisions such as the slave must smoke outside the home. Something I would like to state here, anything that can be considered a habit is a detriment. A slave can only serve one Master, and if that Master is a cigarette then he or she is not serving the Owner. I have actually had a slave ask me if she could finish her cigarette before she got me my coffee, shortly after that she stopped smoking...about five minutes I think.

Noise: A slave should always keep the noise to a minimum. This would include all activities, even housework. It is appropriate to refrain from any housework (such as vacuuming or running the dishwasher) after a specific time, for example 10pm. If the slave is permitted to enjoy music, it is wise to seek the use of headphones, that way it will not disturb the Owner in any manner.

Temperature: A slave should never change the setting on the thermostat unless given specific instructions to do so. If the slave is too cold then he or she may ask permission to put on extra clothing, if the slave is too hot then he or she may ask permission to remove clothing or turn on a fan.

Electricity: While this is not technically an area of protocol I personally thought it should be covered. Unless specifically ordered to leave a light on, a slave should turn off the lights when a room is not in use. The same goes for the TV, radio, stereo, or computer...if no one is using an item...turn it off. Nothing can be more frustrating than coming home from work, driving up to the house and seeing every light in the house is on, and when you get inside not only is the stereo going downstairs but a the one upstairs is going too, and the TV is on but muted. Yes I am speaking from experience; the slave quickly learned to turn off electronics and lights when not in use, especially when I informed her if she didn't I would simply remove the fuse from the fuse box while I was at work.

Every Owner has specific rules that apply to household behaviors, the ones that I have covered are extremely basic and by far I have not covered even one tenth of the basics that I train my slaves with. However, since so many of the items that can be listed are solely the preference of the Owner it is rather hard to list the specifics. Also since each form of slave may be allotted different privileges, or require different activities again going into more detail is quite difficult.

 

Rules (1)
House Rules

House rules are rules that specifically are associated with the house in general. These rules are general and basic, and normally apply to all slaves within the owner's house.

For Example:
1. Slaves are not permitted to eat with the owner; they must eat in the kitchen.
2. Slaves are not permitted to sit on any furniture without explicit permission.

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

5. __________________________________________________________________

6. __________________________________________________________________

7. __________________________________________________________________

8. __________________________________________________________________

9. __________________________________________________________________

10. _______________________________________________________________

Comments __________________________________________________________________

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Rules (2)
Slave Rules

Slave rules are rules that are specifically associated to slave behavior, these may be slave specific or in general to all slaves within the house.

For Example:
1. Slave must request permission to use the bathroom, and must leave the door open while doing so. Slave must sit at all times while using the bathroom (including male slave).
2. Slave must NEVER use illegal drugs.

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

5. __________________________________________________________________

6. __________________________________________________________________

7. __________________________________________________________________

8. __________________________________________________________________

9. __________________________________________________________________

10. _________________________________________________________________

Comments ___________________________________________________________________

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Rules (3)
Language Rules

These are rules associate with how a slave may or may not speak, these rules may be slave specific or may pertain to all slaves within the house.

For Example:
1. Slave may not use vulgar or profane language.
2. Slave may not speak unless spoken too.

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

5. __________________________________________________________________

6. __________________________________________________________________

7. __________________________________________________________________

8. __________________________________________________________________

9. __________________________________________________________________

10. _________________________________________________________________

Comments ____________________________________________________________________

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Rules (4)
Rules for Appearance

These are rules associate with the general appearance of the slave, again these rules may be slave specific or for all slaves within the house.

For Example:
1. Slave may not wear any clothing to sleep in.
2. Slave must have shoes/boots shined to perfection at all time.

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

5. __________________________________________________________________

6. __________________________________________________________________

7. __________________________________________________________________

8. __________________________________________________________________

9. __________________________________________________________________

10. _________________________________________________________________

Comments ____________________________________________________________________

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Rules (5)
Rules For Health and Fitness

These are rules that pertain to the health and well being of the slave. Normally these are created for specific slaves and are not for the general household.

For Example:
1. Slave must meditate at least one hour a day.
2. Slave must see an assigned physician for a general check up, once every six months.

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

5. __________________________________________________________________

6. __________________________________________________________________

7. __________________________________________________________________

8. __________________________________________________________________

9. __________________________________________________________________

10. _________________________________________________________________

Comments ____________________________________________________________________

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Rules (6)
Rules for Sexuality

These rules are slave specific, they are based on individual sexual habits and activities.

For Example:
1. Slave is not permitted to have an orgasm without explicit permission.
2. Slave is not permitted to touch him or herself in a sexual manner without permission.

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

5. __________________________________________________________________

6. __________________________________________________________________

7. __________________________________________________________________

8. __________________________________________________________________

9. __________________________________________________________________

10. _________________________________________________________________

Comments ____________________________________________________________________

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Rules (7)
Rules for Scening

These are general rules set up for a slave, when BDSM activities are present within a relationship.

For Example:
1. Slave may not scene with anyone else unless given explicit permission.
2. At no time will permanent damage be done to the slave, such as cutting, or branding.

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

5. __________________________________________________________________

6. __________________________________________________________________

7. __________________________________________________________________

8. __________________________________________________________________

9. __________________________________________________________________

10. __________________________________________________________________

Comments ____________________________________________________________________

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Rules (8)
Rules for Social Events

These are general rules for a slave when he or she is attending a social event with the owner.

For Example:
1. Slave must stay within eyesight of the owner at all times, unless given permission to do otherwise.
2. Slave will use Ma'am or Sir for the owner when in the presents of non-lifestyle individuals.

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

5. __________________________________________________________________

6. __________________________________________________________________

7. __________________________________________________________________

8. __________________________________________________________________

9. __________________________________________________________________

10. __________________________________________________________________

Comments

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Rules (9)
Rules for Public Behavior

These are general rules of behavior when the slave is in a non - lifestyle public setting, such as eating at a restaurant or shopping.

For Example:
1. The slave will walk behind and to the right of the owner at all times.
2. The slave will not attempt to order his or her meal at a restaurant, the owner will provide what he or she wishes the slave to have.

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

5. __________________________________________________________________

6. __________________________________________________________________

7. __________________________________________________________________

8. __________________________________________________________________

9. __________________________________________________________________

10. __________________________________________________________________

Comments ____________________________________________________________________

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Rules (10)
Rules for Free Time or Entertainment

These are rules that are specifically designed for an individual slave, they pertain to what he or she may do with any spare time that is made available.

For Example:
1. Slave may use his or her computer only after all house hold work is completed.
2. Slave is allowed to make one phone call per week, staying on the phone no more than 10 minutes, and must inform owner of individual he or she will be speaking to.

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

5. __________________________________________________________________

6. __________________________________________________________________

7. __________________________________________________________________

8. __________________________________________________________________

9. __________________________________________________________________

10. __________________________________________________________________

Comments ____________________________________________________________________

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Rules (11)
Rules Regarding Other Owners

These are basic rules to follow when in the presence of other owners. These rules are normally general rules for the household.

For Example:
1. Slave will speak to all owners in a moderated tone, and only when asked a direct question.
2. Slave will address all owners by Sir or Ma'am unless instructed to do otherwise.

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

5. __________________________________________________________________

6. __________________________________________________________________

7. __________________________________________________________________

8. __________________________________________________________________

9. __________________________________________________________________

10. __________________________________________________________________

Comments ____________________________________________________________________

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Rules (12)
Rules Regarding Other Slaves

These are general rules that normally pertain to all slaves within a household. These rules govern the way one slave may treat or behave around another slave.

For Example:
1. Slave must ask permission to speak to another slave. Permission must first be given through his or her owner and then through the owner of the other slave.
2. Slave may address another slave by his or her first name, only after given permission to do so from the slave's owner, other wise Miss, or Sir, is appropriate.

1. __________________________________________________________________

2. __________________________________________________________________

3. __________________________________________________________________

4. __________________________________________________________________

5. __________________________________________________________________

6. __________________________________________________________________

7. __________________________________________________________________

8. __________________________________________________________________

9. __________________________________________________________________

10. __________________________________________________________________

Comments ____________________________________________________________________

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Observation (1)
Learning Your Owner Through Observation

Learning your owner is one of the most basic duties of a slave. As each slave is different so too is each owner. Each individual has a different way of doing things, each one likes things in a different manner and each has different expectations from a slave. With experience and a keen eye a slave can learn a great deal about his or her owner.

Observation is one skill that can be taught quite easily, but the ability to know what one should observe that is sometimes over looked. This comes only with time and experience. There are many things that a slave sees but he or she overlooks as trivial or irrelevant. In truth everything that one observes adds to the unique understanding of one's owner.

Observations should be broken down into categories. For example...

Rules: These are things that the Owner has specified verbally or in writing that the slave should follow.

Medical Necessities: These are things that the slave has observed that involve the Owner's health or medical well-being...for example allergies, phobias or injuries.

Repetitive Behaviors: These are behaviors that while may not be considered a habit they are indeed frequent behaviors of the Owner. For example: the Owner always checks the locks on the door before going to bed, or the Owner always puts the remote control in the exact same place when finished with it.

Habits: These are habits that the slave has observed, such as the Owner may smoke, or must have at least two cups of coffee before he or she can be considered functional... some individuals get migraines if they do not get enough caffeine in their diet.

Rituals: These are behaviors that the Owner has specified to create a form of cemetery or ritualistic behavior. For example: When the Owner comes home from work the slave must always greet the Owner by placing a kiss on each foot and remain kneeling until told to rise.

How something is done? Why something is done? When something is done? These are all pieces to a puzzle that allow a slave to go from being a good slave to being a great slave. To make that journey all that is required is time, patience and a keen ability to observe all things. Even the minutest item may be of importance, no detail should be overlooked or fact passed by. The most important thing a slave can do is to strive to serve to the best of his or her ability, and to that end a slave must understand the invaluable skill of observation.

 

Observation (2)
Bathing and Grooming

This section is focused on the basic portions of the bathing and grooming of your owner. It is important to remember that as stress levels, seasons and social activities change your owner may change his or her grooming habits. For example...if your owner has had a particularly stressful day at work, he or she may wish to take a nice hot bath by candle light and sip on a glass of wine before curling up with a good book and then going to bed. Your owner may prefer hot, hot showers on the days he or she works but on his or her day off, your owner may enjoy you attending to a long bubble bath and pampering him or her. Your owner may not wish you to bathe him or her at all, but expect you to be available to give them an oil rub down and have a warmed towel ready for after the bath.

What I am trying to get you to focus on is that each owner has different habits and it is the slave's job to learn your owner, by focusing on his or her specific habits and remembering those habits. A slave must also be flexible, always prepared for the unexpected and willing to change his or her behavior to match the owner's needs.

Does the owner wish the slave to attend the owner's bathing? _______Yes ________No

If Yes then...

1, Does the owner wish the slave to bathe him or her? _____Yes ______No
explain: _________________________________________________________________

2. How does the owner prefer to bathe? ______Shower ______ Bath _______Both
explain: _________________________________________________________________

3. On what days does the owner normally bathe? ______Mon ______Tue _______Wend ______Thurs ______Fri _______Sat _______Sun
explain: _________________________________________________________________

4. When does the owner prefer to bathe? ______Morning ______Evening _____Before work _______After work
explain: _________________________________________________________________

5. Does the owner prefer ______bar soap ______ liquid bath gel ______ medicated soap ______ bubble bath ______scented soap?
explain: _________________________________________________________________

6. What is the owner's favorite soap? _________________________________________
explain: _________________________________________________________________

7. What is the owner's favorite scent for soap or bath gel? _________________________
8. Does the owner use __________wash cloth ________bath sponge ________loofa sponge ______ bath puff _________other ?
explain: _________________________________________________________________

9. How long does the owner normally spend in a bath? ___________________________
explain: _________________________________________________________________

10. How long does the owner normally spend in a shower? ________________________
explain: _________________________________________________________________

11. Does the owner normally wash his or her hair when they bathe? ____Yes ______No
explain: _________________________________________________________________

12. How often does the owner normally wash his or her hair? _______Daily ______Every other day ______Weekly ________Other
explain: _________________________________________________________________

13. On what days does the owner normally wash his or her hair? ________Mon _______Tue ________ Wend ________ Thurs _________Fri _______ Sat ________Sun
explain: _________________________________________________________________

14. What shampoo does the owner normally use? ________________________________
explain: _________________________________________________________________

15. How many times does the owner normally shampoo his or her hair? ________Once _______Twice ______ More _________Other
explain: _________________________________________________________________

16. Does the owner normally wash his or her hair before washing his or her body or after? _______Before ________ During ________After
explain: _________________________________________________________________

17. Does the owner normally use conditioner, if so what kind? _____________________
explain: _________________________________________________________________

18. Does the owner use any special products for his or her hair, such as medicated shampoo, hot oil treatment, or anti frizz treatment? _______No ________Yes .
If yes what and how often. __________________________________________________
explain: _________________________________________________________________

19. Does the owner normally shave while bathing? _________Yes _________No
explain: _________________________________________________________________

20. What type of razor does the owner use? _________Disposable _________Replaceable _________Electric ___________Strait razor
explain: _________________________________________________________________

21. What type of shaving cream does the owner normally use? _________Bar soap
_________Gel ________Medicated _________Shaving cream __________

(Male) 22. Does the owner normally shave his ________ face _______ arms _______chest _______legs _______back _______butt _______groin ?
explain: _________________________________________________________________

(Female) 22. Does the owner normally shave her ______face ______arms _______legs _______groin ______underarms __________bikini line?
explain: _________________________________________________________________

23. Does the owner normally use other forms of hair removal? __________Cold Wax ________Hot Wax _________Chemical removal ________ other
explain: _________________________________________________________________

24. How often does the owner shave? _______daily _______weekly _______as needed
explain: _________________________________________________________________

If No then...

25. Does the owner wish his or her clothing laid out after they bathe? _________Yes _______ No
explain: _________________________________________________________________

26. Does the owner wish a warm towel prepared for him or her for after the bath? ______Yes ______No
explain: _________________________________________________________________

27. Does the owner wish you to be available and near by, just in case you are needed? _______Yes _________No
explain: _________________________________________________________________

MISC...
28. Does the owner enjoy an alcoholic beverage during or after the bath? _________Yes ________No _________Sometimes
explain: _________________________________________________________________

29. Does the owner wish the slave to rub lotion on the owner after the he or she has finished their bath? ________Yes _________No
explain: _________________________________________________________________

30. If yes, what is the owner's preferred lotion? _________________________________
explain: _________________________________________________________________

31. Does the owner wish a warm oil rub down after he or she has bathed? _____Yes _______No
explain: _________________________________________________________________

32. If yes, what is the owner's preferred oil? ____________________________________
explain: _________________________________________________________________

33. Does the owner normally put on antiperspirant or deodorant after he or she bathes?
_________ Yes _______No ________ Sometimes
explain: _________________________________________________________________

34. What is the owners preferred antiperspirant/deodorant? ________________________
explain: _________________________________________________________________

35. Does the owner prefer ________Gel ________Solid ________Roll On _______Spray ________Paste ________Powder ?
explain: _________________________________________________________________

37. Does the owner normally use power after he or she bathes? _______Yes ______No
explain: _________________________________________________________________

38. If yes what type does the owner prefer? ____________________________________
explain: _________________________________________________________________

39. Does the owner normally use cologne or perfume after he or she bathes? ________Yes ________No
explain: _________________________________________________________________

40. If yes what scent does the owner prefer? ____________________________________
explain: _________________________________________________________________

41. Does the owner use any after bath treatment on his or her hair? ________Yes _______No
explain: _________________________________________________________________

42. If yes what type of treatment is used and how often? __________________________
________________________________________________________________________
explain: _________________________________________________________________

43. Does the owner wish the slave to give the owner a manicure? _______Yes ______No
explain: _________________________________________________________________

45. If yes, how often and describe any specific preferences the owner has.____________
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46. Does the owner wish the slave to give the owner a pedicure? ________Yes ______No
explain: _________________________________________________________________

47. If yes, how often and describe any specific preferences the owner has. ____________

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______________

48. Does the owner wish the slave to comb, brush or style his or her hair? ________Yes
________No
explain: _________________________________________________________________

49. If yes describe any specific preference the owner has. _________________________

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______________

50. Does the owner use gel, hair spray, moose or other styling assistance? _______Yes _______No
explain: _________________________________________________________________

51. If Yes, what type, and how often? _________________________________________
explain: _________________________________________________________________

52. Does the owner have any piercings that may need special attention? ________Yes _______No. If yes explain... _________________________________________________________________

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______________

53. Does the owner have any tattoos/ brands etc. that require special attention? ______Yes ________No. If yes explain ... _________________________________________________________________

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______________

54. Does the owner have any medical condition that may require special attention or treatment before, during or after the bath? (for example: swimmers ear, bad back)
explain: _________________________________________________________________

Female only:
55. Does the owner menstruate? _______Yes _______ No

56. If yes, what time of the month and for how many days? ________________________

__________________________________________________________________

______

57. Does the owner use ______tampons ______ pads _______ both _______ other
explain: _________________________________________________________________

58. What is the owner's preferred female product? ______________________________
explain: _________________________________________________________________

Eyebrows...
59. Does the owner shape his or her eyebrows? ____ Yes ______No
explain: _________________________________________________________________

60. Does the owner wish the slave to attend to the owner's eyebrows? ____Yes ____No
explain: _________________________________________________________________

Teeth...
61. Does the owner have _______own teeth ______ partial _____false teeth ______other?
explain: _________________________________________________________________

62. What type of toothpaste does the owner prefer? _________paste ______gel _______liquid ______ other.
explain: _________________________________________________________________

63. What type of toothbrush does the owner prefer? ______ soft bristle ________medium bristle _______hard bristle ________electric toothbrush _______water pick ________other
explain: _________________________________________________________________

64. If the owner has false teeth or a partial does the owner use a dental adhesive? ______Yes ________No
explain: _________________________________________________________________

65. If yes, what is the owner's preferred type and brand? __________________________
explain: _________________________________________________________________

Mouthwash...
66. Does the owner use mouthwash? _______Yes _______No
explain: _________________________________________________________________

67. If yes, what is the owners preferred flavor and brand? _________________________
explain: _________________________________________________________________

Contacts....
68. Does the owner have contacts? _______Yes ______No
explain: _________________________________________________________________

69. If yes, are they ______ extended wear ______daily wear _________disposable.
explain: ________________________________________________________________

70. What type of cleaning fluid for the contacts does the owner prefer? ____________________________________________________________________

Additional Notes:
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As you can see there is quite a bit of information that a slave should know about the grooming and bathing habits of his or her owner in order to serve them well. It is the details that make the difference between a good slave and a great slave.

 

Observation (4)
Relaxation and Entertainment

Knowing an Owner's preferences when it comes to relaxation and entertainment can be extremely beneficial for a slave. If the slave knows that the Owner has had a rather stressing day at work, with the proper knowledge, he or she can turn a nail-biting day into a forgotten memory. What creates a calming mood for the Owner; perhaps it is soft music, wine and candlelight; perhaps the scent of leather, enigma and a bullwhip. If the slave is observant enough he or she will pick up on specific preferences then with a little creativity and imagination the slave can create a productive healthy environment as well as making sure that the Owner never looses interest.

Relaxation

What is the Owner's favorite method of relaxation? __________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________

________________________

Does the Owner work outside the home? Yes _________ No __________
If yes, what time does the Owner "normally" return home? _______________
If yes, what days does the Owner "normally" work? Mon Tue Wend Thur Fri Sat Sun

Does the Owner enjoy an alcoholic beverage when he/she gets home from work? ________ If so what type? __________________________________________________
Does the Owner enjoy a non-alcoholic beverage when he/she gets home from work? ________ If so what is his/her preference? _____________________________________

Does the Owner have a comfort food and if so what? _____________________________
Does the Owner find it a specific scent to be relaxing? For example: vanilla __________________________________________________________________

______
Does the Owner find candlelight to be relaxing or does he/she prefer low lighting? __________________________________________________________________

______
What music, if any, does the Owner find relaxing? _______________________________
Please note any of the following that the Owner finds relaxing...

Back massage
Foot massage
Full body massage
Manicure
Pedicure
Facial
Aromatherapy
Meditation
Waxing (paraffin)
Bubble Bath
Hot Shower
Sauna
Reading
Watching TV
Watching Movies
Listening to Music
Playing Musical Instrument
Exercising: Walking
Jogging
Weights
Aerobics
Yoga
Martial Arts
Swimming
Sewing
Crocheting
Knitting
Embroidery
Cross Stitch
Quilting
Cooking
Baking
Gardening
Painting
Sculpting
Flower Arranging
Pottery
Jewelry Making
Writing
Scrap booking

Please note any of the following, which the Owner enjoys participating in for entertainment.

Entertainment
Attending the theater
Attending the orchestra
Attending concert
Attending the ballet
Formal occasions
BDSM related occasions
Sceneing
Sexual activity
Listening to music
Playing musical instrument
Singing
Spiritual (attending Mass, church functions)
Volunteer Work, Community Functions
Jogging
Walking
Exercise
Martial arts
Playing sports
Weight lifting
Playing video/computer games
Playing cards
Playing board games
Playing role-playing games
Shopping
Dining out
Dancing
Clubbing (going to bar)
Going to movies
Poetry
Creative writing
Going to an Observatory
Going to the Zoo, or Animal Park
Going to an Amusement park
Going to Museum exhibits
Going to Art galleries
Handicrafts
Hobbies
Going to flea markets
Going to auction
Going to garage sales
Sightseeing
Traveling
Swimming
Boating
Skiing
Scuba diving
Fishing
Salt-water fishing
Hunting
Canoeing
Kayaking
White water rafting
Spelunking
Rock climbing
Camping
Hiking
Nature walks
Mountain Climbing
Skydiving
Surfing the Net
Horseback Riding

Additional activities not mentioned ___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________

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___________________________________________________________________

___________________________________

You will notice that some of the items are listed both as relaxing and as entertaining; this is because some activities can be viewed both ways. If there are multiple things in each category the slave may wish to number the items in order of preference. Also if the slave knows of specifics associated with one of the items mentioned it is indeed helpful to add notes. For example: Shopping (definite good thing when Ma'am is depressed, make sure to arrange for an outing that will include a coffee house when Ma'am is too quiet). The more details that are included the more alternatives and creative the slave can be. It is also wise if the slave has made special arrangements for the Owner that he or she write down the dates and what was done, as well as how the Owner responded. This way the slave will not repeat one activity to frequently or repeat an activity that the Owner was not pleased with.

Remember everything is in the details.

 

Observation (8)
Guests

Learning to serve the Owner's Guests properly is a major accomplishment. An unprepared slave can carelessly destroy an otherwise fabulous evening. While a well prepared slave can leave the guest talking about the evening for months on end, waiting breathlessly for when they can make a return visit. While it is not always possible, a slave must know as much information about the Owner's guests as he or she can. A slave can start this process by creating an index card on each and every guest that is presented. Understandably, while this the end goal it may not be possible all the time. A slave may not be introduced to a guest and hence not have a name to put on the card, or may not be asked to assist with the guest and have no information for the card. However, the slave should make every attempt to follow through on this process with each and every guest.

The index card should contain basic fundamental information. Some suggestions would be...

Name_______________________________________________________________
Contact Information ____________________________________________________
Relations (business associate, fiend, Owner etc.) _____________________________
Vehicle ______________________________________________________________
Allergies _____________________________________________________________
Requests_____________________________________________________________
Beverage of Choice _____________________________________________________
Meal of Choice ________________________________________________________
Special Instructions (diabetic, vegetarian etc) ________________________________
Special Treat__________________________________________________________
Special Dates__________________________________________________________
Religion _____________________________________________________________
Special Arrangements___________________________________________________

If individual is an Owner the slave may wish to add extra information
Name of Slave(s) ______________________________________________________
Will the guest's slave be assisting or responsible for the guest's comfort? _________
Is there special sleeping arrangements needed for slave? _______________________
Special rules when associating with slave? __________________________________
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If there is a spouse or significant other you will want to make a note of such on the primary card, but create a second card for the additional individual. It is a wise choice to attach the two cards in some manner for quicker reference.

Why would a slave wish to know what vehicle a guest drives? Simple, that way he or she will be looking for the vehicle and know the moment it shows up.

Why would a slave wish to know a guest's allergies? I am allergic to pork, what if I was a guest at a friend's house and his slave served pork roast, not remembering my allergy. My night would be ruined, as would the Owner's since we would undoubtedly be in the Emergency Room for a while.

Why would a slave wish to document any special requests? What if every time the guest came over he or she asked for a pillow, due to back problems. Would it not get annoying for the guest to constantly ask for the same thing each time they are there, and would it not look good on the Owner if the slave simply shows up with the pillow without being asked.

Beverage of Choice. That one is self explanatory, however the fact that the guest likes coffee is not enough. A slave should note whether the guest likes regular or decaf, how the guest likes their coffee, and how many cups they usually consume within a given time. A simple line of "decaf, light/2 sugar, 3 cps bfr dnnr, 1 cp aftr dnnr." Would give the slave all he or she needs to know and make sure that the guest was served appropriately.

Meal of Choice. This too is self explanatory. A guest may only come over once in a great while, would it not be appropriate to serve what pleased the guest. This line can be so simple as "Italian" or so complex as "Chicken cordon blue, Caesar salad, light blue cheese". While variety is always a good thing, a slave can tell what the guest will prefer and not go totally into left field with a meal.

Why would a slave need special dietary instructions? Simple, what if the guest is diabetic and the slave served BBQ chicken, and peach cobbler. The guest would be forced to eat something that might create a health risk or he or she may be forced to ask for something else to eat, and that would be very embarrassing to the Owner and hence devastating to the slave. What if the guest is on a low sodium diet, or is vegetarian, perhaps a low carb diet, or is a meat and potatoes kind of person...these are things that a slave needs to know.

Special Treat. It is always a special bonus when a slave remembers that the guest loves chocolate bon bons and has a nice crystal bowl of bon bons waiting when the guest shows. It is a wonderful little surprise and can add brownie points to the Owner's abilities.

Special Dates. What if the Owner forgot that it was the guest's birthday, but thankfully the slave had written down on his or her card and remember to stop by and get a cake and wine, as well as make the guests favorite meal? The Owner would get all the praise and the slave would get a very proud Owner.

Religion. Why would a slave wish to know someone's religion? Some religions have rules about what foods they can or cannot eat, even the means in which a meal is served. Some religions have rules about if females are allowed to eat at the same time, what time to eat, even certain ceremonies for eating period. So religion may or may not play a part in the entertaining of a guest but it is always best to be prepared.

Special Arrangements. This should be obvious; does a guest need a specific kind of chair, or assistance when moving? Does the guest have sensitive eyes and needs the lights low, or sensitive sense of smell and must have scented candles going while a meal is being prepared? Does the guest know of the slave's position or not? One more note that should be made discretely, is the guest a sexual partner of the Owner...if so then the Owner and guest may require more personal or private time than they require a the service of a slave. These are all quick notes that should definitely be included with the general information.

If the guest is an Owner or within the lifestyle then I suggest flagging the card in some manner, this way the slave will know without a shadow of a doubt what level of protocol to display. It should be noted if the guest has his or her own slave and if that slave will be assisting the House or if the guest will be solely the responsibility of the guest's slave. In other words if the guest brought his or her own slave then he or she may be better apt at preparing the guests meal and beverages or serving the guest. It should be noted if this is the general procedure when the guest shows up, that way no one feels out of place or gets upset.

While most of the information on these cards takes time and effort to gather, it can take a dull uneventful evening and turn it into a dream come true. Without such assistance, a fantasy evening may indeed turn into a nightmare for both the Owner and the slave.