My name is Sadie Bonfils (Aka Sensuous Sadie) and I am the author of several books, the latest being Spiritual Transformation through BDSM; Stories and Submissions from Fellow Travelers. You can read more about them here. I'm the founder and leader (1999-2001) of Rose & Thorn, Vermont's first BDSM group. More of my Vita here. I live in northern Vermont and have a great passion for its beautiful Green Mountains. I am an avid portrait photographer, work out religiously, and spoil my cat Spencer who is not remotely submissive. I am a plus-sized beauty in great shape, and proud of it. Why yes, I'm single!
My Gender Neutral Writing Policy
My goal is to show respect to both Dominants and Submissives through the form of my writing as well as the content. I also feel that using correct formal English is critical to broader acceptance of our lifestyle.
As a result, I capitalize both Dominant and Submissive, because I believe they are equal partners in the D/s relationship – similar to a yin yang. In addition, I capitalize both Dominant and Submissive when referring to a person, but not when it's an adjective such as in "she was acting dominant." In all cases, I use the gender-neutral "Dominant" instead of Dom, Domme, or Dom/me. I use gender neutral words like "they" instead of the common usage of "He" for Masters/Dominants and "She" for Slaves/Submissives.
When I exchanged emails with Sadie in early 2003, she gave me carte blanche to her writing. I took shameless advantag of her generosity for years. I recently learned that the lovely, generous Sadie died in 2010 and, though I had not exchanged words with her for several years, I miss her. She was wise, witty, and so kind. The Masque would not be what it is without her words and I am deeply grateful to her. ~ BG
Each of Sadie's pieces contains her email address as part of her copyright notice. Emailing her is useless. Please contact BG for further information.
This is Part 4 in the column series Where Do I Start? for novices to the BDSM scene
A column from 1996, musing on new Dominants vs. the more experienced
Fetish wear: mandatory, on the cheap, and fun stuff
The vanilla world isn't aways tasty and mild to the those involved in BDSM.
The spiritual side of submission isn't always thinder and ligtening
Defining spiritual BDSM through experience
Part one: The BDSM Cyber Relationship - Commentary from an Ex Real-Time Elitist
Part two: Cyber Relationships - Commentary from an Ex Real-Time Elitist
The BDSM Cyber Relationship - Commentary from an Ex Real-Time Elitist Part III
Part three: Auto Erotica: Exploring BDSM without a Partner
Part 1: Auto Erotica: Exploring BDSM without a Partner
Part four: Part four: Auto Erotica: Exploring BDSM without a Partner
Part two: Auto Erotica: Exploring BDSM without a Partner
Despite being a whore in the bedroom, I am a lady in the parlor and I expect my men to be gentlemen. It's a rare and maybe even freaky expectation in these days, but one that shows respect not only for me, but for them.
This is Part 3 in the column series Where Do I Start? for novices to the BDSM scene
Part one in the Getting Started in the BDSM scene series
This is Part 2 in the column series Where Do I Start? for novices to the BDSM scene
Differing philosophies on Topping and using a safeword
Please stop posting photos of your boy bits. They get tiresome.
Please be careful about outing yourself, there can be serious consequences.
Emotions in the scene
Hypocrisy in the world of sex and intimacy
The history of high protocol and why it may, or may not, be important - even if it's important stuff to know.
Chosing a name in the scene
Beginners are told a lot of lies. Here's a short, non-complete list.