Let's talk a bit about rewards
Categories: Dominance > Training a submissive Characters: None
Content Notes: D/s-M/s
Challenges:
Series: None
Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes Word count: 450 Read: 492 Published: 12/29/2018 Updated: 01/01/2019
Let's talk a bit about rewards
1. Chapter 1 by instructor144
"So much on Tumblr is about punishment, pictures and the things people talk about are all about correcting bad behavior etcetera. But almost nothing about rewards for good behavior! Seems a bit unfair!"
You make a very good point. We are all guilty of it, including most definitely me. So let's talk a bit about rewards...
First of all, Doms, you can't only let your submissive know when she fucks up. Is punishment in order? Yes. Does she already feel like shit because she fucked up? Yes. But if all she ever hears is a litany of her fuckups, she's going to become sour and bitter and start to believe she is a bad, worthless sub. Is that really what you want?
You have to let your girl know when she kicks ass. Which, almost without exception, is going to be pretty much all the time, because a submissive will try with kamikaze ferocity to do the right thing and please her Dom. And even when she comes up short, other than the occasional outlier (the faux "submissive" or the very occasional submissive with a pathological sense of entitlement), that submissive tried her damnedest to do the right thing and make you proud. So you need to reward her.
As is usually the case in life, the devil is in the details.
There's plenty of "stuff" you can do for rewards, things that tend to be very specific to each individual submissive. It might be a shopping spree. It might be taking care of the house and kids so she has a night off. It might be cooking her a dinner. It might be dressing up and going to a show. It might be an orgasm-fest.
But that's just "stuff." And I'll tell you what I believe: submissives don't want "stuff" as a reward. Or if they do, it pales compared to what they really want and crave as a "reward." They want to hear that they are doing well. They want to hear that you are proud of them. They want to know that they are an amazing submissive. They want their efforts and hard work to be seen, recognized, and appreciated. A girl who might yawn at a shopping expedition or a fancy dinner will beam with pride and curl up contentedly at your feet or in your arms if you simply tell her what's in your heart: "I want you to know I saw how tight and on point you were today. Today was a stressful day for you, but you really stepped up and lived your submission today. Seeing that meant the world to me, and I am so very, very proud of you. Your submission is an amazing gift."
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