The Garden :: Petals and Thorns

BDSM Glossary A-B

24/7	A term used to describe a full time relationship. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in which protocols are in place continuously.
4 Ds	Disobedience, Disrespect, Dishonesty, and Dangerous. They are the four main concepts that many DD couples use to help create a base of rules for a tih to live by.
Abasiophilia	Sexual attraction to people in or who use wheelchairs, casts, braces, or other orthopedic fixtures.
Abrasion	Rubbing something rough on the skin
Absolute Power Exchange / APE	nonconsensual no-limits slavery; total power exchange.
Abuse	To assault. To injure or hurt, not care about the others well being. Physical or sexual assault or false imprisonment is not part of BDSM. BDSM is negotiated between those participating and is something that is enjoyable and enhances a persons well being.
Acomoclitic	1. Sexual arousal by hairless genitals. 2. A hair-removal procedure involving use of wax to remove the hair from the entire genital region, including between the butt cheeks and around the anus. A Brazilian wax.
Adult Baby	A person who engages in infantilism in the role of a very young child or infant.
A-Frame	A type of bondage furniture consisting of an upright triangle, usually made of wood and typically about seven to eight feet tall, sometimes with cross slats. A person can be bound to the frame with wrists together, arms above the head and affixed to the pinnacle of the triangle, and ankles bound to the base of the triangle with legs apart.
Aftercare	The time after a BDSM scene or play session in which the participants calm down, discuss the previous events and their personal reactions to them, and slowly come back in touch with reality. The process of a Top tending to a bottom's physical and emotional needs after a scene.
Age play	acting out the role of someone of a different age, usually significantly younger. An age player regresses to a specific age. Different ages may be played or felt according to the needs of the submissive. See infantilism. Age play has both a "little" (the age regressed adult) and a "Daddy or Mommy", who plays a quasi-parental role in the relationship or scene. Has nothing to do with pedophilia and all parties are adults. Similar to DD/lg relationships.
Alcohol Enema	The act of introducing alcohol into the rectum and colon via the anus. Because the alcohol is absorbed directly into the bloodstream, the recipient gets drunk faster. It bypasses This bypasses all of the body's normal defenses against alcohol poisoning.
Allergies	Be aware some folks might be allergic to latex, nonoxynol-9, alcohol, some metals or other chemicals. Tip: You might want to apply some to the forearm of the person to see if blistering, rash, extreme reddening occurs indicating possible allergy.
Alligator Clamp	A type of nipple clamp with tips that have teeth resembling an alligators mouth. Most clamps of this style come with removable rubber tips and have adjustment screws to limit how far they can close.
alpha sub/slave	A submissive or slave with technical authority over other submissives or slaves in a household. This being the case the alpha sub will be accorded the respect befitting their position of said situation. Also called first girl in Gor. Also may mean a submissive with dominant tendencies.
Amazon	A fetishized Mistress of a greater size than the submissive. Also can mean a warrior-type Mistress.
Anal Beads	A set of strung beads used to insert into the anus to stimulate the anal nerves as foreplay or to cause orgasm.
Anal hook	a steel hook with a ball on the short end for rectal insertion and a ring on the other to attach rope to for bondage
Anal Play	Any sexual play involving one's anus.
Anal torture	The BDSM practice of inflicting pain on the anus.
Analingus / Rimming	To lick or suck someone's anal opening/rectum, may include insertion of the tongue.
Animal play/ Animal transformation fantasy/ Pet Play	Fantasy in which the focus is on the sub entering the altered mind space of a different species, often a dog, cat, or horse. Role play where one participant plays the part of an animal and the other is a trainer or caretaker/owner. May involve specialized training and/or an individual's perception that they have an inner animal. Kitten play flag shown.
Ankle Cuffs	Any cuffs (def. 1) specifically designed to be affixed to a person's ankles. Ankle cuffs are often made of leather, but may also be made of cloth, rope, metal, or even wood.
Anthro food play/vore	“consensual cannibalism”. Some pretend cannibalize their partners, others actually do it. Since this involved actually cutting up the human body, if you’re sensitive to gore, this would not be good for you. "voraphilia" or "vorarephilia" the sexual fetish of (fantasy of) cannibalism either as the one eating or being eaten. Also referred to as "Dolcett" after the cartoonist, Dolcett, who depicted themes of snuff, cannibalism, roasting spit impalement & asphyxia
Arm binder/Monoglove/Single Glove	a leather sleeve with laces, meant to bind both arms together.
Arm Trap	A type of restraint, usually made of rigid metal bands, which are designed to go around the elbow and hold the arm in a bent position. When locked in place, they prevent the wearer from straightening his or her arms.
Aromas/Poppers/Hot Oils	Play which involves the use of certain aroma therapy to induce relaxation. In some instances these can be volatile compounds whose vapors cause temporarily increased heart and breathing rates, muscle relaxation, and a “rushing” feeling in the head. These types of play are popular in the gay and rave scenes, and often used in an S/m context. There are some dangers associated with their use.
Ash Rubbing	A form of body modification done by slicing the skin with a sharp knife, then rubbing ash into the wound to promote scar formation and add color to the resulting scar.
Asphyxiation / Breath Play	DANGEROUS. Breath control play. The intentional restricting of air/oxygen to the brain for sexual satisfaction. This is edge play and could result in death.
Auction	Dominant auctions off the slave to the highest bidder (usually supervised and for temporary use). An event sometimes held at play parties, conventions catering to BDSM participants, and the like, in which submissives are auctioned off for the use by the highest bidder in some context or for a set period of time. Slave auctions are sometimes held at BDSM-related events to raise money for charity.
Autoclave	Professional sterilization device for piercing equipment.
Auto-Erotic Strangulation / Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation	enhancing one's own sexual experience by deliberate choking or hanging
Auto-Masochism	Sexual arousal from inflicting pain on one's self, either alone or during partnered sex.
Babyboy	A person who seeks a parental and/or nurturing figure in a relationship, with some identifying as or role playing as a young boy. Also used as an endearment for a male-identified submissive.
babygirl	A person who seeks a parental and/or nurturing figure in a relationship, with some identifying as or role playing as a young girl. Also used as an endearment for a female-identified submissive.
Backboard	A long thin board used to support the spine. Recommended suspension play but often considered impractical.
Bad Pain/Good Pain	1. Good pain and bad pain are terms used lightheartedly by BDSM practitioners, signifying that whilst BDSM may include an element (often quite pronounced) consensual pain, there is a purpose to it, and some pain is consented to and accepted whilst other pain is not. "Bad pain" is pain which is outside hard limits, non-mutual or non-valued, not wished for, and of limited or no value in this context. 2. Good pain and bad pain refer to pleasant vs. unpleasant pain. As a "vanilla" example, imagine soreness after a good workout at the gym versus the pain of breaking a leg. Author Jay Wiseman suggests a correlation between perception of "bad pain" during BDSM play and subsequent injury.
Ball Busting	Colloquial Any form of genitorture applied to the testicles, as by squeezing, impact, or tight binding. Frequently by kicking
Ball Gag	A typical gag, wherein the quieting mechanism is a leather, rubber, plastic or foam ball stuffed into the bottom's mouth that may part only the teeth or press the tongue down. May be buckled or strapped to the head. Use may be difficult for bottoms with small mouths or difficult jaw joints. Results in drooling.
Ball Hood	A specific type of hood, often without openings for the eyes or ears and sometimes containing integrated bladders designed to be inflated with air to press the hood tightly against the head, used as a means of rendering a person unable to hear, see, or speak.
Ball Press/Ball Crusher	A device with two flat pieces, often made of wood, metal, or acrylic, that are placed on each side of the testicles, together with a screw mechanism which allows them to be tightened, compressing the testicles. Used as a form of cock and ball torture.
Ball Stretching	the permanent or temporary enlargement of the scrotum
Ballet Boots/Shoes	Extremely high heeled boots that require you to stand on the ends of your toes rather than the sole of your foot. Usually they have heels that are 8-9 inches and require considerable training and ability to walk in without assistance. Sometime also referred to as bondage boots.
Bandit gag/ over-the-nose gag (OTN)	A bandit gag (also known as an over-the-nose or mouth gag) covers the mouth as well as the nose, and is commonly used in Japan and on many cartoons. Without stuffing, it is not very effective.
Bareback	sex without any type of protection, typically NOT recommended under ANY circumstances due to the high risk of STDs/STIs
Barn Burner	Term used in DD. A spanking that is hard to take, and often lives the one spanked felling the heat for several hours later, including a tenderness for a day or two later.
Bastinado	Usually refers Middles Eastern torture caused by striking the soles of the feet, causing extreme pain or distress. May refer to the act of being hit with a stick or cudgel or the stick itself.
Bat	A thin, flexible instrument used for striking, consisting of a rigid but flexible shaft wrapped or braided with leather or cloth, very similar to a crop but usually slightly shorter and with a wider leather striking tip.
Bathroom Use Control	Any scene where the Dominant restricts or takes control over the submissive’s bodily functions and excretion, be it denial, timing, brown or watersports, diapers, rubber pants, etc.
BBW	big beautiful woman
BCD	behind closed doors (aka “private session”)
BDSM	abbreviation for Bondage/ Discipline, Domination/ submission, Sadism/ Masochism. An all-encompassing term used to describe practices of alternative lifestyles involving bondage or D/s.
BDSM Alt symbol	One of several symbols of BDSM, emphasising the three aspects of the lifestyle in D/s, S&M, and B&D. The creator of this symbol and the meaning of the lines has been lost in time and replaced in general use by the Quagmyr symbol. If you know the creator of this symbol or the story behind it, please contact The Garden.
BDSM Rights Flag	The BDSM Rights Flag This combination aims for a symbol which is recognizable by people familiar with either the Leather Pride Flag or BDSM use of the Triskelion, but without the commercial restrictions associated with the other designs, and not under the control of any individual or organization.
BDSM Symbol	One of several symbols of BDSM, this was created by Quagmyr to symbolize three areas of BDSM, three general categories of players and SCC.
Bear	Hairy Men. Sometimes heavy and strong. Gay.
Bear Flag	The International Bear Brotherhood Flag was designed to represent the bear subculture within the LGBT community. The colors of the flag are meant to include the colors of the furs of bears throughout the world, not necessarily referring to human skin and hair color tones: Dark brown, orange/rust, golden yellow, tan, white, gray, and black. The flag was designed with inclusion in mind.
Bear Paw	Gloves used for sensation play which have blunt metal spikes or dull hooks at the end of each fingertip.
Bedroom Dom/sub	Someone that is only interested in D/s and control in the bedroom, but not as a lifestyle.
Berkley Horse	A type of bondage furniture consisting of a padded bench with integrated restraints and a pair of arms to which a person's legs can be affixed. A person is bent over the Berkley horse and restrained in place; the Berkley horse is designed so that it can be elevated, rotated, or moved into any position, and the arms to which the ankles are bound can be opened or closed. Etymology: The Berkley horse was allegedly invented in 1828 by Theresa Berkley, a prodomme in London who specialized in flogging her client
Bestiality	sexual intercourse or other sexually motivated activity between a person and an animal
BHM	Big Heavy Men
Big	A person who is nurturing and/or parental in a relationship dynamic.
Bimbofication	Dressing a submissive in an exaggerated feminine (though not high class) style, like a prostitute or bimbo and treating her as though she is lacking intelligence.
Birch	A branch, or group of twigs, usually from a birch tree used for striking a submissive. They do very little damage but are very whippy to cause pain, and can be used on sensitive areas where other instruments should not be used. Wand of Venus.
Bit Gag/Mouth Bit	similar to a bit for a horse...used in Pony Play. May be padded for comfort. Any of a style of gags with a long, cylinder-shaped bit, usually made of soft rubber or latex, in place of a round ball. Mouth bits may include an integrated harness; such bits are often used in pony play.
Biting	Scenes involving the biting of the skin to induce pain. Safety Note: Although certain types of nibbling/biting are quite safe, extreme biting causing breaking/bleeding of the skin is not recommended and can be dangerous if not carefully done
Black Booting	when the male partner thrusts the heel of a boot up a woman's anus. this act is especially arousing, tough painful, for the woman.
Black sheet party	Slang term for an orgy involving people into BDSM.
Black Snake/Snake	A type of single-lash whip that is flexible all the way to the knob.
Blanket consent	Consent given, allowing the top of Dom to do anything, at any time to the bottom or submissive without further consent.
Blindfold	Any device that can be used to cover the eyes and render a person sightless for the purpose of heightening erotic pleasure. Taking away the sense of sight causes other senses to be magnified dramatically and can bring the feelings of anticipation to a fever pitch. A tremendous sense of trust is required which profoundly affects both Bestower and recipient.
Blood Play/Sports	SM practices that result in drawing blood. Can include whipping or caning that breaks the skin, branding, cutting, and piercing.
Blowgun play	The darts can penetrate plywood 1/4" so you need to really practice to find out how much pressure to use since the darts can go to deep. Also sterilize the darts and each person should have their own darts for play. Paper darts, metal darts, stun darts and paintball darts are just some used in play. This type of play should NOT be done by beginners. Also make sure no metal allergies for the intended target.
Blowjob/BJ/Fellatio	Sucking a man's penis
Body Bag/Sleep Sack	A long, heavy bag, often shaped like a narrow sleeping bag and typically made of canvas, rubber, or latex, used to restrain a person very tightly. Sometimes includes integrated straps which wrap around the person within the bag. See related mummification.
Body Fluid Monogamy	the practice of not sharing body fluids, i.e. blood or semen, with play partners outside of the relationship. May include safer sex practices in playing with others.
Body Harness	A harness consisting of a series of straps designed to be worn around the torso, which may optionally include a mechanism for locking the harness into place and may also include rings or other attachments for ropes, cuffs, or chastity belts.
Body Modification	Any practice, including piercing, tattooing, branding, and the like, intended to modify, often permanently, the appearance of one's body.
Body Service	A trained submissive taking care of all of the dominants bodily care needs, including bathing, shaving, manicures, etc.
Body Worship	revering the body or specific body parts of another, usually with massage and oral service
boi	a male bottom, not indicative of age; mid-13c., from the boie "servant, commoner, knave, boy," of unknown origin. Possibly from Old French embuie "one fettered," from Vulgar Latin *imboiare, from Latin boia "leg iron, yoke, leather collar," from Greek boeiai dorai "ox hides." (Words for "boy" double as "servant, attendant" across the Indo-European map; Within the LGBT community boi commonly refers to a gender identity; Within the lesbian community it may refer to one that prefers casual sex rather than a committed relationship; a submissive or younger butch; a younger person that prefers older partners (a daddy); a young trans-man at the beginning of his transition; or a young transgendered / androgynous / masculine person who is biologically female and presents themselves in a young, boyish way. May be a sexed female but does not identify as being gendered female; May also be a black gay individual. In the gay community it denotes a young gay man.
Bolero Straightjacket	A specific type of straitjacket designed with an opening in the front to expose the wearer's breasts.
Bolt cutters	Use to cut padlocks, chains and other metals in an emergency situation.
Bondage	Technique used to restrain a person for the purpose of erotic pleasure. This can range from a command to hold a position all the way to the most complicated web of rope or other similar material that prevents the smallest of movements. Often it is the means to an end, but it can also be the point. It is the visual and tactile representation of the D/s power exchange. The sexual practice in which one participant is physically bound by way of ropes, chains, locks and similar devices.
Bondage Bed	bed designed for bondage and BDSM play. The design typically falls into two main variants; a standard bed designed primarily for sleeping on but which has purpose built attachments for bondage, and a table-like piece of furniture with a padded top and multiple fixing points around it. This second variant is purely designed for bondage and would be part of a purpose built dungeon.
Bondage Belt	A belt used to restrain a person, which consists of a heavy band of leather or a similar material which can be strapped or locked about the waist and which has several attachment points to which the subject's wrists may be bound.
Bondage Mitts	A fingerless mitten, often made of leather, canvas, heavy vinyl, PVC, or similar materials, which is placed over the hand and then fastened in place with an integrated buckling or locking cuff. The bondage mitt holds the hand flat or balled up, and prevents the wearer from being able to pick things up or otherwise make use of his or her hands.
Bondage Suit	Used for mummification and occasionally suspension. Commonly made of leather with straps and made to fit snug/tight.
Bondage tape	a binding tape that has no adhesive and can easily be removed, excellent for those allergic to adhesive. Feels like adhesive free wide electrician's tape. Sticks to itself, not skin. Wide, adhesiveless electrical tape.
Boot Boy/Girl	one with fetish for leather boots worn by dominants, and who often works at a leather bar or charitable event shining shoes. The conclusion to the shoe-shining may be oral service to the boots.
Boot Camp	Used in DD for the purpose of starting, or strengthening, the relationship. Something like high protocol in D/s. A set of days, usually a weekend, set aside for both HOH and tih to fully immerse themselves in their roles with a structured plan to follow as planned out by the HOH.
Boot Blacking	The practice of a submissive/bottom caring for the boots (cleaning and polishing) of the Dominant. Boot Blacking is often used in contests.
Boot Worship	The extreme adulation of boots in BDSM, usually carried out while the footwear is being worn by the dominant partner. The submissive willingly worships the dominant partner's boots, and often without even being asked to. This reverence for the footwear that encloses the dominant partner's foot is sometimes an expression of extreme devotion or loyalty, sometimes a concrete admission of inferiority or defeat, and sometimes both. Thus, boot worship may include sniffing or inhaling from worn boots, as well as licking, kissing or cleaning their exteriors by licking.
Bottom	1. The person that is not in apparent or direct control of what is happening in a scene. The “do-ee”. This person may not be submissive, simply the recipient of another’s temporary control. See Top 2. The person receiving anal sex.
Bottom drop (sub drop)	The emotional sinking or depression of a submissive/bottom after a scene. Frequently happens after hitting sub space but may occur days later or last for several days.
Bottom's Disease	The tendency for some people who identify as submissive to behave as if everyone who identifies as dominant is dominant to them, for example by large demonstrations of obsequiousness even if there is no negotiated relationship between them.
Brain fade	a state of confusion during or after a scene in reaction to pain, mind fuck, or dominance.
Branding	making a permanent mark/scar on a person's body by burning it with a heated metal object May used to show ownership or status of a submissive/slave. All Gorean slaves are branded, usually on the upper left thigh.
Brat	A bottom who enjoys struggling against control or challenging the top. Brats are seeking attention from the Top or Dominant, even if the behavior results in punishment.
Brat Tamer	Dominants who enjoy handling bratty submissives and find fun in managing their disobedience.
Breast bondage	Binding a female's breasts. May use straps or rope and use clamps, clips, or chopsticks on the nipples. May bind to flatten or present.
Breast Press	A type of device, often consisting of two horizontal wooden planks with an adjustable screw or clamp mechanism between them, which can be clamped over the breasts.
Breath Control/Breath Play/Gasping/Erotic Asphyxiation	The dominant controls the submissive's breathing. Any practice in which a person's breathing is constricted or interrupted, as with a hand or ligature around the throat, water, or with a covering over the face, for the purpose of increasing sexual arousal or sexual climax. Often considered an extremely dangerous form of edge play (def. 1), as it can and often does lead to permanent injury or death.
Breeding Fetish/Impregnation	A type of sexual expression centered around a fixation on impregnating a woman, which may also include fixation on other things normally associated with pregnancy or childbirth, such as lactation or the physical changes in the body that accompany pregnancy.
Brown sports	The use of excrement in a sexual or erotic situation. Being used as a toilet See Scat.
Buck Hammer	A medical instrument used to test reflexes and neurological function, consisting of a metal handle with two cylindrical, rubber-tipped metal hammerheads. Typically, one or both hammerheads can be detached and replaced with a short metal spike or needle-like attachment, or with a short, soft brush, both of which can be used to test sensation and neurological function in the skin. Sometimes used for percussion or sensation play.
Buggy Whip	A long rigid whip with a cracker at the end.
Bukkake	Several men ejaculating on another person, usually a woman. Originating in Japanese pornography in the 1980's. Form of the Japanese verb bukkakeru "heavy splash". Effectively marks the female as a humiliated "used goods". Symbolic of group rape.
Bull	A man who engages in sex with a woman whose partner enjoys the cuckold dynamic.
Bullwhip	whip with a relatively short, rigid handle and a long flexible leather thong of varying lengths ranging from about 4-6 feet. The longer the whip, the harder it is to control, but the more dramatic the psychological effect.
Butt Plug	A sex toy designed to be inserted in the rectum and shaped so that it stays in position by trapping the sphincter between the internally inserted bulk of the plug and the external, wide flanged base. May be a vibrator, tunnel, or dildo or have an attached decorative jewel or tail.
Butterfly Chair	A chair which contains two horizontal planks to which the legs can be secured, affixed to a pivot such that the legs of the secured person can be spread apart.
Butterfly Gag	A specific type of inflatable gag consisting of a central oblong placed in the mouth with two wings that inflate with air, filling the mouth and preventing easy removal.