The Garden :: Petals and Thorns

BDSM Glossary C-D

Cable Loop/Cable Slapper	An implement used for striking, consisting of a loop or occasionally two loops of thick wire, coated with plastic, rubber, or leather, and affixed to a handle. A cable loop can be used much like a crop or similar implement, and produces intense sensations.
Cable Tie/Zip Tie	A type of cuff consisting of a thin plastic strip with a row of teeth in its surface, and a small ratchet on one end. The end of the cable tie can be placed through the ratchet to form a loop which can be pulled tight but not loosened again. Sometimes used by police in favor of handcuffs.
Caging	locking an individual in a cage either as a form of bondage or pet play control.
Candles	are used in play that involves dripping hot candlewax onto the skin of the submissive. Plain white paraffin candles are best, while colored or beeswax candles are more likely to burn. Generally soft candles have a lower melting point and are safer.
Cane/Rod	a thin, flexible rod used for striking in play and punishment, can be made of bamboo, rattan, acrylic, polycarbon, fiberglass, Lexan, etc.
Carpet Beater	Traditionally used to smack against a rug/carpet to get loose dirt and debris out, used in BDSM as a flexible paddle that creates a lovely imprint.
Casting	using plaster casts or plaster tape to immobilize a person.
Castration	To remove the testicles.
Castration Fantasy	There has been much confusion as to the actual meaning of this term. This refers to removal of the testicles; however, some people use it for the removal of any/all sexual organs of either sex. The removal of the testicles is sometimes referred to as Emasculation and a man who has had his testicles removed is referred to as a eunuch. This procedure causes permanent and significant changes to the body. Castration fantasies are actually quite common among the heavy S/m players and are played out in scenes involving cock and ball torture (CBT), permanent and play piercing, and even genital shaving. However, few people actually choose to make this fantasy a reality. It should be noted here that this is a serious surgical procedure and not something someone can teach themselves to do safely. This form of play is very dangerous.
Cat O'Nine Tails/Captain's Daughter/Cat	a type of flogger with numerous tails that are weighted, braided or tied used for striking. Historically used as a punishment or torture device. The cat o' nine tails was used as an implement of discipline aboard British Navy sailing ships beginning in the late 1600s. The term "captain's daughter" was a slang term for the cat o' nine tails popular among sailors, likely because it could not be used without the captain's express authorization.
Catharsis	This can sometimes happen during play. Letting go of repressed emotion and guilt.
Catheter	Any thin, flexible tube designed to be inserted in the urethra. Catheterization is inserting the tube.
Cattle Prod	Usually modified for BDSM play. Gives a powerful jolt. An electrical prodding device used to herd animals, more frequently for cattle. Sometimes used in S/m play for “branding” or serious hardcore pain play, and is considered dangerous play.
CBT / Cock and Ball Torture	The process of creating intense stimulation or pain to the penis, including the shaft, head, urethral opening, testicles, scrotum, and foreskin if present. Can include squeezing, scratching, pinching, sounding, and constricting using instruments such as cock rings, straps, and weights for sexual pleasure.
CBT Board/Cock Board	A flat piece of wood or metal with a hole in it which can be placed over the hips of a man lying on his back, so that his penis extends through the hole. It usually contains a locking mechanism and/or tie-down points that enable tying, strapping, or locking the penis in place
CEI	Cum eating instructions
Cell Popping / Micro-Branding / Devil's Fire	A form of body modification using a red-hot needle or poker to make a series of tiny dots on the skin. Lasts weeks or months. May be repeated to create a permanent pattern.
Cells or Closets	Play which involves locking the submissive in a cell-type device and / or closet. Usually as a form of punishment. Not recommended for claustrophobics.
Chamber-Pot Use	Scenes involving the use of the toilet for humiliation and / or control. Generally used for medical scenes.
Chastity	A form of erotic sexual denial or orgasm denial whereby a person is prevented from access to, or stimulation of, their genitals, save at the whim or choice of their partner, usually by means of a device (called a chastity belt or sometimes for men a cock cage) that prevents contact and is controlled by means of a lock by the partner.
Chastity belt	a device that makes masturbation and/or sexual contact extremely difficult (and/or uncomfortable)
Chastity device	Closeable belt worn to save the wives chastity in absence of her husband (15.-19. century). Also common for male bottoms or submissives, is wearing a metal or plastic chastity device fitting over the penis for a Dominant key holder. A mechanical device which prevents its wearer from having sexual intercourse or masturbating. Can also be a piercing used to prevent intercourse.
Chauffeuring	Requiring one’s submissive to “chauffeur” them around physically in vehicles or other types of transportation.
Check In	Checking during the scene to ensure that everything is all right with the bottom and the scene is proceeding properly. Color words "green", "yellow" and "red" are typical responses.
Chemical Play / Urtication	Any form of sensation play involving the use of mild irritants such as peppermint oil, menthol, Tabasco sauce, nettles, ginger, etc. to create sensation.
Chores / Domestic Service / Housework	1. Scenes where the Dominant requires the submissive to perform chores and / or domestic service in either sexually pleasing clothing (i.e., maid outfits) or naked. 2. Lifestyle duties around the house or to ease the life of the Dominant
Chrematistophilia	A paraphilia in which sexuoeroticism hinges on being forced to pay, or being robbed, by a partner for sexual service.
Cicatrization/Scarification	The act of scarring tissue be it medical related or otherwise created in ritual or purposeful treatment for some very much along the lines of tattooing; can be the result of personal beautifying of their bodies to a complete destructive nature. There can be a situation such as branding or cutting to mark in a ritual of commitment.
Cilice	1. A hair shirt. 2. A belt or garter made with loops and spikes to cause discomfort.
Cincher	A corset wrapping only around the wearer's waist. Shorter than a full corset.
Cleave Gag	A type of gag, usually made of cloth, that is pulled tightly between the wearer's teeth and tied behind the head. The cleave gag forces the mouth partway open and is quite effective in preventing speech.
Clit Clip/Jewelry	A piece of jewelry, often in the form of a springy clip, designed to be affixed to the clitoris, providing constant clitoral stimulation for as long as it is worn. Frequently includes a ball, crystal, gemstone, or other decorative element which rests directly on the clitoris while it is worn, providing additional stimulation.
Clover Clamps	intricately curved spring mechanisms whose actual purpose is to hold fabrics tightly for sewing. For scene they are often sold in pairs with a chain attaching them. The flat ends have rubber coverings. The pressure they yield is intense and cannot be adjusted and they tend to ratchet tighter when the chain is pulled.
Club	A public gathering place, like a nightclub for BDSM lifestylers, with public scening and training. Also, the meeting place of a House.
Clueless Horny Dom Wannabe / CHDW	A derisive term for a person who proclaims himself or herself a dominant, but who has little or no real-world experience, and/or behaves with reckless disregard for the needs or safety of the submissive. Pronounced "chudwa." Usage: Invariably indicates disdain for the person so named. Etymology: Originated on the now-defunct Usenet newsgroup alt.sex.bondage.
Clyster	An enema
Coca Cola Submissive / Burger King Submissive	A submissive who only obeys the easy stuff or only when he/she feels like it. A submissive that wants to "Have it your way"
Cock Cuff	a chastity device that consists of a tube welded to a handcuff, usually both made of stainless steel. The penis is slide into the tube and the handcuff closes behind the ball sack making removal all but impossible without unlocking the handcuff. A very effective chastity device.
Cock ring	a plastic, leather, or rubber ring or lariat device used to constrict blood flow in the penis to sustain or prevent an erection.
Cock Strap	Leather or neoprene strap that wraps around the base of cock and balls to help improve erection.
Code words	Word(s) used in personal ads to disguise sexual proclivities that may be unacceptable to main-stream society, e.g.: English culture, French culture, Greek, Clean, Discipline, Strict, Leather, etc.
Co-Dom/me / Co-Top	1. A person who acts in conjunction with or as an assistant to a dominant during a specific scene. 2. A person who shares a submissive with another dominant, often in the context of a polyamorous relationship. Also, verb to act in concert with another dominant.
Coffin/Grope Box	An item of furniture consisting of a long, narrow box, sometimes shaped like a conventional coffin, padded on the inside and usually featuring built-in restraints, a lockable lid, or both. The lid of a coffin typically features small openings or flaps at the level of the face, breasts, and genitals, allowing people outside the coffin to reach in and stimulate the person inside, or to allow the person inside to perform oral sex on those outside.
Collar	1.The concrete symbol of the D/s relationship. Generally it is a literal circle of metal or leather worn around the neck, but there are many variations. It is both a visual sign to all that a submissive is claimed by a Dominant and a constant reminder to the submissive that they are claimed. 2. A collar may be worn as part of BDSM clothing and usually indicates a slave. If a person is wearing a collar with a closed lock round the neck it may indicate that the person is the slave of someone present. The old tradition is that such a person should be approached through the Master or Mistress. A collar with the lock open or with a lead may indicate that the person is looking for a Master or Mistress. Warning: pulling on a collar, especially from behind, can damage the throat. 3. A collar with rings for the attachment of handcuffs or for bondage or sometimes with cords carrying clips. 4. A wide collar may be worn to protect the neck during back flogging.
Collared	Wearing a collar from a Dominant. Usually used to indicate that a submissive is off the market, in a continuing relationship, or that any prospective play should be discussed with the submissive's Dominant if there are restrictions.
Collaring	A ceremony or ritual that binds a Dominant and submissive together, symbolizing a serious commitment.
Conditional Compliance	The SM one-nighter, a limited exchange of power negotiated by a Dom and sub for a single scene or brief period of play, such as overnight, one day, or one weekend.
Conditioning	The term used in psychology for the deliberate process of creating a psychological link between a desired response and an unrelated stimulus. Much of what people in the SM community refer to as training or slave training uses classic conditioning techniques.
Condom	Both female and male condoms are available. To help prevent semen from entering the orifice. Helpful in keeping insertable toys clean. Remember some people are allergic to latex and nonoxynol-9.
Confidentiality	BDSM participants MUST keep strict confidentiality. Even if a person is known in the leather community or talks freely about their own activities, under NO circumstances do you talk about them, you could say something that would cause them damage.
Consensual Forced Consent	unless an activity goes explicitly against preset limits the slave is expected to join said activity
Consensual kidnapping	A 'directed' kidnapping between trusted practitioners of BDSM. The 'victim' is aware of the overview of the 'kidnapping' and has discussed, and agreed upon, with the 'kidnapper(s)',the hard limits not to be crossed for safety and peace of mind. Beyond that, the 'victim' is usually left in the dark as to the actual actions which his/her 'kidnapper(s)' will take. Must be undertaken with care as witnesses may think the kidnapping is real and call the police or intervene.
Consensual Non-Consent/CNC	An educated, mutual agreement that within defined limits, consent is given without foreknowledge of the exact actions planned. As such, it is a show of trust and understanding and usually undertaken only by partners who know each other well, or otherwise agree to set clear safe limits on their activities or to deliberately not use limits or a safe word. Comprehensive consent. May be used within a relationship dynamic.
Consensual Rape/Rape fantasy, ravishment:	A consensual but rough sexual act undertaken with non-consensual role play, taking place between trusted practitioners of BDSM. The 'victim' is aware that the 'rape' will take place and has discussed, and agreed upon, with the 'rapist(s)' the hard limits not to be crossed for safety and peace of mind. Beyond that, the victim is left in the dark as to the actual actions the 'rapist(s)' will take. The idea behind these actions goes along with the desire to be 'taken' and to 'take' by force. And, these actions can be fully and wonderfully experienced with trusted individuals, without the danger of true physical or emotional injury.
Consent	Mutual agreement to the terms of a scene or ongoing BDSM relationship. Permission for one person to do something to another with the full knowledge of activity and ramifications for both parties.
Contract	An agreement between two or more people to do something, esp. one formally set forth in writing. A document containing the terms and expectations between Dominant and submissive, or Master and slave outlining what structure, guidelines, rules and boundaries to the relationship are agreed upon by the two. It is not legally binding.
Contra polar stimulation	The act of pleasure and pain through endorphin release; The act of spanking, caning, flogging, cropping or any other physical stimuli through which pain creates pleasure
Corner Time	Used as a punishment in DD, or used after a punishment, to allow time for reflection on what the tih has done wrong, and what they will do right next time.
Corporal punishment	A punishment of a physical nature, such as caning, whipping.
Corset	An article of clothing for the torso including strips of rigid "boning," which is tightly laced and designed to narrow the waist and lift the breasts, creating an "hourglass" figure.
Corset Collar/Neck Corset	A specific type of tall posture collar sometimes containing rigid inserts or rigid metal sides, which is designed to lace up the front, back, or sides rather than buckling or locking closed.
Corset Piercing	A form of body modification in which multiple rows of rings are placed through a person's skin, then laced together with a silk cord or similar tie. Corset piercings can be done on the back, down the sides, or even on the labia, tying it closed. The piercings themselves may be temporary or permanent.
Counting Strokes	is a ritualized counting of the strokes during impact play, with the recipient sometimes being required to thank the dominant after each stroke. If the submissive miscounts a stroke or remains silent, then the stroke may be repeated.
Cracker	A short piece of cord on the end of a whip, which makes a loud cracking sound as the whip is snapped.
Cream pie	Term used in pornography, meaning an internal cum shot and the subsequent leaking of semen from the vagina or anus.
Crop	Short, stiff but flexible whip with a loop of leather on the end intended for use on horses but very useful and adaptable on humans, too.
Cross Cuffs	A specific type of cuffs which hold the wrists together in a crossed position.
Cross-Dressing	Sexual arousal or gratification from wearing clothing appropriate for the opposite sex.
Crucifixion	as practiced in BDSM usually refers to a kind of bondage where the submissive is tied to a cross. Care needs to be taken to make sure that the weight is supported evenly and that the submissive can breathe properly.
Cuckcake	The female equivalent of a bull in a cuckolding scene. The female that has sex with the Top while the bottom watches.
Cuckold	Most often refers to a man whose partner practices cuckoldry by having sex with other partners for the purpose of humiliation, though occasionally used to describe women as well.
Cuckoldry	The practice by which a dominant takes one or more sexual partners other than his or her submissive, for the purpose of humiliating the submissive. Commentary: Cuckoldry is distinct from the practice of polyamory in the sense that it is done in a context where the submissive has no direct control over the dominant's other partners, and the primary purpose is to humiliate the submissive. Those who are aroused by cuckoldry are most often attracted to the humiliation and powerlessness aspects of it. The majority of the people who practice cuckoldry as a sexual fetish are women, who humiliate their male partners by having sex with other men.
Cuckquean	refers to a woman whose partner has sex with other people for the purpose of humiliation.
Cuff	1. Any restraint which has a band or band-like structure, which may be made of metal or of a flexible material such as canvas or leather, intended to be strapped or locked around an extremity such as a wrist or ankle for the purpose of securing or immobilizing it. 2. Archaic the fist. Also, verb 1. To restrain or immobilize by means of a cuff or cuffs. 2. To strike a rapid blow, as with the hand. 3. Archaic: Cuff with, to engage in a fistfight with.
Cumming on Command / Psycholagny	Orgasms induced from mental stimulation or trigger words said by the Dom/me to the sub.
Cuntbusting	Attacking a female's genitals. Even a playful slap, while not particularly harmful, can still be enough to make a female double up and fall to the ground in pain. On the other hand, a full force kick can crush the clitoris up into the pelvic bone, compressing it.
Cupping	Chinese medicine technique of warming the air inside a glass, metal, or wooden cup and inverting it over a part of the body. Some skin is pulled into the cup by the vacuum. Wet cupping: making an incision in the skin before applying the cup, blood is drawn into the cup. Dry cupping: The cup is simply pressed into the skin Oil or water may keep the seal tight. Results in circular bruise. Fire cupping: creates suction by using a brief flame inside the cup usually a swap dipped in alcohol to burn. Fire consumes the oxygen, creating the vacuum.
Cutting	Cutting with a knife or scalpel, usually to achieve a specific design.
D/s	Dominant/submissive relationship
Dacryphilia	the love of another person's tears
Daddy Dom/ Mommy Domme	The adult side of a DD/lg relationship, a Dominant who takes on more of a parental role in their sub's (the little) life. The Dominant in a D/s relationship where the submissive has childlike aspects but is not a minor and the dominant is not interested in pedophilia.
Darby Cuff	A specific type of rigid metal handcuffs where each cuff is shaped like the letter "C," and has a straight lockable bar that can be attached to the open side of the C to close it.
DD	Disease and drug free.
DD/lg	Contains many elements of the D/s lifestyle including guidance, protection, training, and devotion. The submissive in the relationship has elements of a childlike personality and the Dominant “Daddy” takes care of the submissive “little”. Does not imply age play, incest or pedophilia but a nurturing parent/child role.
Decorative Bondage	For looks or immobilization
Deep Throating	To take a whole cock or dildo into your mouth and throat. Those talented will massage the cock with their throat muscles.
Denial/Sexual Denial	keeping another person aroused while delaying or preventing resolution of the feelings, to keep them in a continual state of anticipatory tension and inner conflict, and heightened sensitivity. (see also tease and denial and chastity).
Dental Dam	A dental latex barrier used for analingus or cunnilingus to help prevent the spread of STDs. Some people are allergic to latex.
Depilation	Removal of most or all body hair. Common removal is shaving, waxing or plucking. Some will undergo electrolysis.
Derivative Pleasure	immediate/delayed – Corporal strokes that are painful at impact, but pleasurable following initial execution. An immediately derived pleasure stroke feels good right after the impact. Delayed derivative pleasure is an accumulation of painful strokes that explodes into sexual heat some time later.
Detective Gag / over-the-mouth (OTM) Gag	The detective gag, or over-the-mouth gag (sometimes abbreviated to OTM), is often described in fiction (particularly crime serials) as preventing the subject from speaking through the use of soft materials such as scarves or bandannas. The long scarf or bandanna is pulled over the subject's mouth and tied at the back of his/her head. In practice, it does not silence the subject very effectively. Images of OTM gags, usually applied on women, had been prevalent since the film serials of the early 1900s. For this reason, the OTM gag is associated with the typical damsel in distress.
Deviant	A person who does not conform to social norms.
DFK	deep French kissing
Dildo	a device used to penetrate an orifice, often penis shaped. May have different appendages attached for clitoral, scrotum and anal stimulation. They come in all shapes and sizes from realistic penis to fists to rabbits.
Discipline	The act of enforcing specific rules of behavior on a submissive, and the various punishments used to correct breaches of those rules.
DLMBERYK	Don’t Let My Bad Experience Ruin Your Kink
Dogging	Public sex; mainly a British term.
Dollification	Turning a submissive into or the process of evolving, mentally and physically, into a "living doll", extremely submissive and may involve body modification and specific clothing to become "perfect" looking according to the desires of the doll's Owner.
Dom	A male Dominant.
Dom/mes	Noun when one is speaking about both male and female Dominants at the same time.
Domestic Discipline/DD	A lifestyle where one partner, the HOH, leads, creates rules, makes final decisions, and the other partner, the tih, follows. Some consider DD to be Biblical in origin.
Domestic Service	a bottom finding satisfaction from performing personal tasks for a Dominant or Top such as housecleaning, domestic chores, or chauffeuring. A form of non-sexual submission.
Dominance/submission / D/s	A lifestyle choice involving the consensual surrender of personal power and authority to another in exchange for guidance in personal pleasure and/or lifestyle decision making, wherein other elements of BDSM may be enjoyed.
Dominant/Dom	Either a person who practices or seeks to practice Dominance or an adjective for a dominant person. Ruling, governing, controlling; having or exerting authority or influence over another. One who accepts the power of another, in exchange for fulfilling certain needs of the submissive, usually pleasure.
Dominatrix	A dominant, usually female, usually professional.
Domme, Domina	Various alternative terms which may be used to describe a Mistress, both paid an unpaid; a term of endearment and respect for a Female Dominant. Usually pronounced "Dom-may"
Dorei / slave / servant / rope bottom	Japanese kanji for "slave", "servant", or "rope bottom". Frequently used for discrete symbolic tattoos today. Correctly pronounced "dorei" ("dorēh").
Door Hanger	implement for bondage consisting of a short piece of flat webbing, usually an inch or two wide, connected to a thick metal or wooden dowel on one end and a metal ring on the other. The webbing can be hung over the top of a door; when the door is closed, the dowel prevents the webbing from being pulled through the door, and a person may be bound to the ring.
Doormat	1. Something people wipe their feet on (usually found only in play). 2. A person used by another person for their own benefit without regard for the persons feelings, growth or well being. 3. A submissive that allows the Dominant to do anything, emotional of physical because the submissive can or will not exercise limits. 4. A mindless submissive with no personality and assumes the personality and traits that the Dominant wants.
Double locking cuffs	Double locking metal cuffs are made to prevent slips for safety. The second locking mechanism makes sure the cuff will not tighten on a submissive's wrist, cutting off circulation.
Double Penetration / DP	Penetration of vagina and anus simultaneously, usually by different people.
Douche	Commonly a bulb and nozzle. Applied by squeezing water into the vagina or ass.
Dragon's Tail	A whip consisting of a handle, often made of wood and wrapped with leather, to which a wide triangular piece of thin leather or suede is attached. This leather or suede forms a lash which is a hollow tube tapering to a point at the striking end.
Dragon's Tongue	A whip consisting of a handle, often made of wood and wrapped with leather, and a lash made of a single wide piece of leather or suede wrapped around another, thinner suede lash. The outer lash is rolled into a tube around the inner lash, and tapers to a point at the striking end.
Dread Koosh Flogger	A flogger made from a rope handle tied to several Koosh balls, which are children's toys consisting of a small, hard rubber ball with a very large number of long rubber "whiskers" attached. The dread koosh flogger was invented by a participant of the Usenet newsgroup alt.sex.bondage, and is generally considered the definitive standard for thud in a flogger.
Drop Collar	A specific type of collar which is shaped in such a way as to descend in the front, so that the frontmost part of the collar rests in the hollow of the throat rather than around the front of the neck. A drop collar may be constructed of a rigid material like stainless steel, or made of more conventional materials such as leather. Some drop collars feature a medallion, charm, or other ornamentation on the frontmost part of the collar. Commentary: Some people find that drop collars are more comfortable than collars that go around the neck, particularly for extended wear.
Duct tape	Heavy, woven, sticky tape, used for bondage, mummification, and holding the universe together. Gaffa tape (metallic gaffer's tape). Loathed because the heavy adhesive rips hair out and can damage skin.
Dungeon	A permanent or temporary BDSM dedicated play space. May have specific furniture included.
Dungeon Master / Dungeon Monitor / DM	An experienced person at a play party who is responsible for enforcing rules of behavior, ensuring safety, answering any questions, resolving disputes, and, if need be, expelling people from a party. When on duty, a person acting as a “DM” usually wears a badge, armband, sash, or other identifying sign. The decision of a DM is final and is not subject to appeal.