The Garden :: Petals and Thorns

BDSM Glossary H-L

Hair Bondage/Hair Tie/Kami	Any bondage technique in which a rope, twine, or cord is woven or braided through a person's hair, then tied in such a way as to limit mobility of the bound person's head.
Hairbrush Spanking	Play which involves the use of a hairbrush to inflict pain on the buttocks. Commonly used in “naughty boy / girl” scenes for punishment.
Handcuffs	Metal of leather bondage items, varying from the typical police version of wrist restraints, to the play version thereof and the U-shaped or Straight-8 alternatives. Metal version may result in nerve and bone damage. Leather cuffs are kinder to the bottom and consist of straps of leather and a series of buckles.
Handkerchief Codes/Flagging	A 1960-70's invention to indicate which fetishes one practiced as indicated by wearing a handkerchief of a certain color, or combination of colors, in the left or right back pocket to indicate being a Top or bottom. Also keys may indicate availability. Hanky codes became standardized with the advent of the internet, where previously, they had been local or even only standard to a specific club.
Hard limit	a limit that is non-negotiable
Harem	A group of subs serving one or more dominants.
Harness	Bondage apparatus or fetish wear consisting of a web of straps designed covering large area of the body or the head. The best known is the leather body harness for wearing around the upper torso, as seen in the classic Leatherman look. Frequently used for pony play. However they can be made of a variety of materials, and not all are just made for show as some may be used in suspension play. Also a verb, 'harness', to place someone in a harness
Harness Gag	encircles the head, with straps generally secured by buckles fastened at the back. Head harnesses are most commonly used to provide points of attachments to secure various kinds of gags, such as ball gags, bit gags, muzzle gags and ring gags; although they also have other uses, such as providing attachment points for other forms of bondage, or may be used simply for their psychological effect. Head harnesses may also function as a gag by themselves, by restricting the ability to open the mouth, or have a mouth cover as an integral part.
Head Games	1. Domination where the focus is primarily mental, such as humiliation, rather than physical, such as bondage or whipping. 2. Nonconsensual psychological manipulation to make a person respond in a particular way for one’s own purposes.
Head Of Household / HOH	Person in a DD relationship who leads the couple, and makes the final decision.
Heavy	1. Intense SM play or whipping. 2. A term describing an SM toy such as a flogger or cane that is capable of delivering intense sensations. 3. A description for a bottom that can take a lot of pain.
Heavy play	Any play in which a bottom may suffer long term physical or emotional damage; long term play where a bottom's reactions are no longer under his or her control; when involuntary movement becomes general. The Top must have full attention on the sub during play and for aftercare. Subjective to the bottom’s limits and tolerance.
Hedgehog	A device used for sensation play consisting of a short metal cylinder with numerous spikes attached to a handle in such a way that it can be rolled over the skin, producing a sensation somewhat similar to that of a wartenberg wheel.
Hedonist	A person with a strong focus on the pursuit of pleasure.
High Protocol	A standard of behavior normally used for short periods or longer periods of punishments; referring to groups or individuals that adhere to strict roles and role-based rules of conduct
High-heel Training	Used in feminizing a sub or teaching a sub to walk/stand in high-heels, commonly spiked.
HIV/AIDS	human immunodeficiency virus, acquired immunodeficiency syndrome
Hobble Skirt	A item of clothing consisting of a very tight skirt that ends below the knee, which prevents freedom of motion of the legs, allowing the wearer to walk slowly in a hobbling motion but not to move quickly.
Hobble Stock	Any device intended to restrain a person by the genitals, such as a fixed bar or blank with an attached cuff designed to be locked around the penis and testicles, or a fixed rod ending in a dildo to which a woman's legs may be bound so that she is penetrated by the dildo and can not move.
Hog Slapper/Prison Strap	An implement for striking, consisting of a strap of thick, heavy rubber, often wrapped in burlap or some other coarse material.
Hog Tie	A bondage position there the bottom is on his belly with both arms bound with knees bent and ankles bound and secured to the wrists. Also, a cross shaped strap of leather with clips on each end to attach to wrist and ankle cuffs to effect the bondage position.
Hojōjutsu	15th Century martial art form. Japanese rope tie or technique being used by a person in a martial arts context and restraining prisoners. Signified by a lack of knots as it was considered shameful for people of a higher status to be bound. While it is no longer practiced today, it is thought to be the origin of modern Japanese Rope Bondage, aka Shibari.
Homework	The HOH/Dominant assigns certain activities that need to be completed in a certain time frame.
Honey Daddy	A sugar daddy whose income has no bounds, and he can easily support multiple sugar partners.
Honor Bondage/Psychological Bondage	Bondage without the use of ropes or other restraints, in which the submissive is simply commanded not to move.
Honorifics	A word or expression with connotations conveying esteem or respect when used in addressing or referring to a person such as "Sir", "Mistress", or "my Lord"
Hood	A device that cover the entire head for bondage, sensory deprivation, or fetish wear
Horse	a piece of furniture that can act like a sawhorse, for a bottom to be bent or draped over in a scene, exposing the bottocks and genetalia. May be specifically built for the function or improvised with a chair etc.
House	A Leather Family with a formal setting, such as a club, with a distinct hierarchy. May or may not live in the same dwelling.
House Boy/House Girl	A house slave
House Slave	A submissive, who may often live with the dominant, who acts as a maid, cleaning up the dominant's house and performing other household errands, often while nude. A house slave may sometimes be punished for failure to perform satisfactorily; with this form of D/s, sexual submission may or may not be part of the arrangement.
Hucow	A person into lactation and milking as an erotic fetish; particularly, milking via pumps or other machines. Etymology: "hucow" is a portmanteau of "human cow."
Humbler	An implement consisting of a locking metal ring which fits around the testicles, connected to two wings which go between the legs and behind the buttocks. A person wearing a humbler cannot stand straight without placing painful pressure on the testicles; the humbler forces the wearer to walk bent over or on all fours.
Humiliation play	May be verbal, physical, or emotional. Aftercare may be vital to a scene involving humiliation. Warning: heavy humiliation can be psychologically dangerous. Subjective to the limits and tolerances of the bottom.
Humiliatrix	A female dominant skilled at humiliation play. Etymology: The word was coined by Edmund Bohun in 1853, from the Latin for "woman who humiliates."
Hypnotism	Using the power of hypnosis to fulfill erotic desires, an altered state of consciousness resulting in relaxation and possible suggestibility.
Ice Lock	A type of timed lock used in self-bondage, consisting of a metal cylinder that is filled with water with a rod or cone-shaped insert that can slide into the end of the cylinder. The ice lock is assembled, filled with water, and frozen. When the water freezes, it traps the insert in the cylinder; the insert can not be removed until the water melts. Once the water has melted, the insert slides out. The larger the lock, the longer it takes for the ice to melt.
Ice play	Ice may be rubbed on skin or inserted. May be painful but may desensitize areas. Warnings: to avoid frostbite, ensure that the ice is beginning to melt before use. Ice for insertion should have all sharp edges rounded. Ice from anything other than pure water should not be used. Sudden cooling can cause a slowing of the heart.
Impact play	the striking of the bottom/submissive, usually repeatedly, for the sexual gratification of both parties. See spanking, paddle, cane, flogger. Typical targets are buttocks, breasts, thighs, and back.
Impalement	A practice in which a person is bound, usually while standing, and penetrated anally or vaginally with a dildo attached to the end of a fixed pole or rod in such a way that the person cannot escape or remove himself or herself from the dildo. Commentary: This practice can be dangerous if not done correctly. The person must be bound in such a way that he or she cannot fall if he or she loses balance.
Implant	To place something inside the body. Most common are breast implants. Less common is implanting an object for visual art.
Implement	Any item used to spank with.
Infantilism	Adult taking on the role of a baby. This can include the wearing of diapers, bottle feeding and changing.
Infibulation	1. Chastity piercing, particularly of men. 2. In some cultures, the practice of female genital mutilation, typically forced on women at the onset of puberty and often for religious reasons. The practice consists of surgical removal of the clitoris and/or sewing the labial lips together to prevent sexual penetration. 3. In some historical contexts, particularly in ancient Rome, the practice of sewing the foreskin over the head of the penis to prevent a male slave from engaging in sexual intercourse.
Inflation/ Scrotal Infusion	A practice involving injecting saline solution into the scrotum to "inflate" the scrotal sac, sometimes to a very large extent. Commentary: A sometimes painful practice that is not safe if not done by a skilled and experienced person.
Informed consent	The principle of consent being given with full knowledge of events, circumstances and participants -- and the ability to give consent, i.e. not being coerced or under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
Inhibitor Bar	A rod or bar, usually made of metal, that is attached at one end to a dildo inserted vaginally or anally, and attached at the other end to a spreader bar, so that the person wearing it will cause the dildo to move and twist with every step they take.
Initiation Rites	the rites, ceremonies, and / or ordeals by which an individual is made a member of a house or society.
INMKBYKIO	"It's Not My Kink, But Your Kink Is Okay" a cliché in BDSM play indicating acceptance and non- judgment of all play within the SSC boundaries.
Internal Enslavement	Some feel internal enslavement and total power exchange or erotic power exchange are similar, others don't. Internal enslavement is consensual ownership in which the sub/slave cannot take back their consent.
Interrogation	a scene where the participants roleplay torturer and victim where there victim is withholding information and the Interrogator is trying to force the divulgence of that information through kidnapping and torture.
Inversion Table	A piece of furniture consisting of a flat table to which a person can be bound, suspended between upright supports on a pivot in such a way that the table can be rotated upright, inclined, or completely upside-down.
Inverted suspension	Being suspended upside down. CAUTION: People with Glaucoma or have had Achilles tendon surgery should avoid this type of play. Fainting is quite common. Tip- Always use quick release for this type of play.
Irish Handcuffs / Irish 8 Handcuffs	A rigid metal cuff in the shape of the number 8, designed to be locked around the wrists. Unlike normal handcuffs, the Irish 8 cuffs are a single piece of metal, designed to hold the wrists rigidly and therefore more securely than ordinary handcuffs.
Irons	Various kinds of metal bondage equipment, the best known being the leg irons with two riveted steel cuffs for the ankles attached to a bar or chain. As with all metal bondage items, they have hazards; Labia piercings referenced in The Story of O to symbolize servitude/ownership.
Isolation Hood	Any type of hood designed to be used for sensory deprivation by removing the wearer's ability to see, hear, or speak.
Japanese bondage	an art form practicing intricate rope bondage
Jennings Gag	The same as a Whitehead Gag but with a ratchet only on one side
JOI	Jack-off instructions
Journal	Most common is for a sub to write daily their thoughts or things they want their Dom/me to know without fear of being punished. It is also a place the sub can express desires that they can't bring themselves to verbally express. Also used to record thoughts about reading.
Junior Top	A less experienced Dom/me assisting an experienced Dom/me.
Kajira/ Kajirus	Gorean word for “slave”, female kajira and male kajirus. Refers to kettle and mat (general house or tavern slaves), field, and pleasure slaves. pl. kajirae.
Kennel	A cage to confine a submissive or bottom as part of puppy play
Keyholder	A Dominant that controls a submissive's chastity device with a key and certain negotiated rules.
Kinbaku	A verb meaning "to bind tightly" and describing the sexual exchange between two people enjoying a session of Japanese rope play. Specifically noted by the use of natural fibers such as jute, usually single colored rope, 5-7 mm diameter rope, about 7-8 meters long and finished in a single knot. There is a focus on functionality of the bondage using weaves rather than knots and the rigger actively targets erogenous zones. The lack of knots refers to Hojōjutsu customs. While the terms Shibari and Kinbaku can be used almost synonymously, Kinbaku often refers to more sexually explicit rope scenes.
Klismaphilia	Sexual arousal from giving or receiving enemas.
Kneel up	A command for a submissive to kneel with body straight to the knees.
Kneeling Pillory/Kneeling Stock	A stock on a very short frame, such that a person may be restrained by kneeling in front of the stock and then bending over. The top of the stock is then closed around the person's neck and wrists, restraining him or her in a kneeling position.
Knife Play/Blading	Use of a knife in play. Usually used in cutting off clothing and instilling fear. Rarely shallow cuts are used on skin but frequently only used in a mind-fuck where no cuts are actually made, with psychological tease coming from scraping the knife over skin.
Knotted Gag	A knotted gag is a blend of the ball and cleave gags. The scarf either has a knot tied in the middle and placed in the gagged person's mouth or is an over-the-mouth gag (OTM) placed backward with the knot tied inside the person's mouth. The knotted gag is able to soak up the saliva that the ball gag does not and can be easily washed for reuse. Knots can be doubled or tripled to fit the size of the gagged person's mouth.
Knout	a whip with knotted leather/hide and wire thongs used for flogging.
Labia Spreader/Labia Spreader Bar	A curved metal bar or ring, typically no more than a few inches across, with a clamp at each end designed to be clamped to the labia to hold it open. Used to facilitate penetration or as a form of humiliation play.
Labia Stretching	Stretching the inner labia (labia minora) making them longer and longer. They can be stretched to 25 centimeters if spread apart can measure up to 50 centimeters. Some Dom/me's restrain their subs by the labia.
Labrys	A double sided ax used for harvesting. A common weapon In European, African, and Asian matriarchal societies. Greek artwork shows amazons with the labrys; The goddess of the earth, Demeter is also shown frequently with a labrys as her scepter. It is used as a feminist symbol of strength and self-sufficiency and is a very common symbol in the lesbian BDSM community.
Lacing	1. The practice of extreme corsetry; particularly, very tight corsetry done as a form of body modification. 2. A specific and unusual type of bondage done by suturing a part of the body to or around a fixed object. 3. Any functional tie used to close an article of clothing, such as boots or corsets. 4. Any style of bondage involving restraining a person by tying a cord or rope over the person and around many fixed points. See related lacing table. Commentary: In the sense of def. 2, the practice of lacing is often considered edge play and may not be safe if done by a person who is not skilled and knowledgeable.
Lacing Table	A table or other flat, horizontal table-like object specifically designed for lacing (def. 4), usually consisting of two or more rows of eyehooks affixed to the table in such a way that a person lying between the rows of eyehooks can be restrained to the table by a rope or cord that is laced back and forth between the eyehooks.
Lactophilia	Sexual arousal from sucking on a lactating woman's breast.
Ladder	A structure consisting of either a triangular wooden frame with wooden slats running across it or two vertical wooden planks with several horizontal cross members, to which a person can be bound.
Lash	1. Any long, flexible implement, often made of leather or cord, used to strike a person. 2. The flexible striking part of a flogger. Also, verb To strike with a lash (def. 1).
Latex	A common material for clothing and often a fetish material. Warning: some people are allergic to latex.
Layered Gag	a series of gags over each other; for example, an over-the-mouth gag (OTM) over a cleave gag
LE	Law Enforcement
Leather	material made from the cured skin of animals, the wearing of which is often fetishized for both men and women. The "uniform" of the BDSM community, historically based in the 1960's gay SM community, called Leathermen.
Leather Bar	A drinking establishment catering to the BDSM community, often specifically to the old leather community, which may have strict dress codes for entrance.
Leather Butt	1. An arse in which the skin has been toughened by a history of whipping or paddling. 2. An arse made red by recent punishment. 3. May include damage to the bottom's bottom by repeated tissue compression, resulting in loss of sensation.
Leather conference / Weekend	An organized event consisting of multiple all day events where attendees will have workshops, demos, vendors and a dungeon play space.
Leather Family	a group of people who support and care for one another as a family would and in the leather BDSM community
Leatherboi	Someone within the leather community or tradition who may be submissive or in a subordinate role, and often doesn't identify with binary gender labels.
Leatherboy / Leathergirl	A submissive within the leather community or tradition; usually seeking a paternal/maternal figure. Green flag is Leatherboy. Pink flag is Leathergirl.
Leatherman	A term originating in the 1960’s gay BDSM scene for those practicing a strict code of conduct and dress, also originating the term "old guard". Leather Men usually had a military background and were bikers. Now may mean a biker, a butch gay man or a heavy SM player who wears leather (possibly straight).
LeatherUK	Flag Symbolic of the Leather culture in the UK.
Leatherwoman	A person who has a fetish for leather and/or espouses the traditions and protocols of a traditional style of BDSM that arose out of the combination of male homosexual BDSM with motorcycle clubs ("biker culture") after World War II.
Leg cuffs/Fetters	A device of leather (padded or unpadded), rubber or metal for tethering legs together.
Legree	An implement used for striking, similar in design to a dragon's tail but without a rigid handle.
Lifestyler	A person who lives a lifestyle that supports rather than conflicts with his SM fantasy archetype. Some lifestylers object to the characterization of their SM identities as fantasy role play, feeling that it is integral to their personalities rather than a sexual game. It is easy, and often attractive, to confuse reality and fantasy.
Lift and Carry Fetish	Where a man is scooped up and carried by a much stronger woman, leaving the male in a submissive role, either voluntarily or not to emphasize the weakness of the male and the supremacy of the female. May also involve te emotional release of being supported by a female after the stress and pressure of societal demands on a male.
Limit	Can either indicate a particular activity that someone cannot tolerate or finds distasteful, or a point reached in play at which the stimulation ceases to be enjoyable or satisfying, or becomes impossible to manage physically or psychologically. Limits vary between person to person and situation to situation. Both bottoms and tops have limits. Online, most servers and websites have listed limited topics that users may not discuss or play on that server, usually to limit the legal liability of the server.
Little	A person who identifies with or enjoys exhibiting a child-like mindset and/or behaviors. Their relationships may or may not include a power exchange component.
Little Death / Orgasmic Syncope / La Petit Mort	1. Woman (some men as well) experience a sudden, temporary loss of consciousness during orgasm. Tip-If this happens they should lie flat and raise their legs to increase blood flow back to the brain and heart. It would be wise to see a doctor and rule out abnormal heart rhythm or any serious health condition. 2. In modern usage refers specifically to "the sensation of post orgasm as likened to death. Can refer to the spiritual release that comes with orgasm or to a short period of melancholy or transcendence as a result of the expenditure of the "life force."
Loopy Whip / Loopy Johnny	A near-silent impact toy with a handle and a loop instead of a fall.
Low Protocol	An agreed upon code of behavior used in relaxed, vanilla, or informal situations
Lunge Whip	A specific type of whip consisting of a handle attached to a long, flexible shaft, often made of fiberglass and typically about 65" long or so, with a single long, narrow lash. Lunge whips often telescope or disassemble for easy storage.