The Garden :: Petals and Thorns

BDSM Glossary Q-Su

Queening Stool	A low stool, typically only about six inches high, with a large round opening in the bottom, used for queening. The queening stool is placed over the face of a prone submissive, allowing a female dominant seated on the stool to receive oral sex from the submissive.
Queening/Face Sitting	The position of a Domme sitting on a submissive’s face and forces her vagina into their mouth and nose, may consist of suffocation and/or oral sex. Face Sitting.
Quirt	A type of whip with two or (occasionally) three short lashes affixed to a long, thin handle.
R.A.C.K.	Risk-Aware Consensual-Kink. An alternative tenant to SCC. A common guiding principal for relationships and activities.
R/L or R/T	real life or real time i.e. offline
Race Play	A form of role play in which the participants assume the roles of people of different races, often in a setting in which the participant's race is relevant to the power dynamic
Rack	rectangular wooden frame designed to support and secure a body. Usually with stretching and pulling capability. Designed to damage joints.
Rape Play	A form of role play in which one person stages a mock "rape" for the purpose of gratification of all the people involved. See related consensual non-consent, resistance play. Commentary: A surprisingly common form of BDSM play, often staged so as to fulfill a woman's sexual fantasies of rape or coerced sex in a safe and controlled way.
Red Umbrella	A symbol for the adult industry/sex worker community
Reset	A spanking in DD to help reset the tih of their negative emotions. Usually done when they feel like everything is out of control, and they need a reminder that their HOH has them, and will take care of them.
Resistance Play	Any mutually consensual activity in which one person struggles against another and is subdued by "force." May involve rape play; some forms of bondage include resistance as well. See related consensual non-consent. Agonophilia.
Rhabhdolphilia	Sexual arousal from being whipped, beaten, or flogged.
Rhaphanidosis	The practice of placing a peeled radish into the anus, which creates an intense sensation that some people find pleasurable. See related figging. Etymology: Radishes belong to the taxonomical genus raphanus. Commentary: The practice dates back to ancient Greece, where it was used as a punishment for infidelity.
Rigger	A person that practices tying people up, usually with rope. Works with rope bottoms and bondage models. May also practice self-rigging and suspension.
Rimming / Rim Job	Mouth contact with the anus, including insertion of the tongue inside it. More common than you might think in vanilla sex, in BDSM it may be as a form of service performed on a top by a bottom. but, in view of the intensity of the sensation, it could go either way. Rosebudding.
Ring Gag	A gag consisting of a metal ring, often padded with leather, which has a strap attached to it. The ring is placed in the mouth in such a way as to hold the mouth open, and the strap secures it in place.
Roach Clip	Sometimes used as nipple clamps
Roissy	A fictitious chateau featured in the novel 'Histoire d'O’ (The story of O) by Anne Desclos under the pen name Pauline Réage, where the heroine, 'O’, was first introduced to sadomasochism and enslaved. Sometimes used as a code word to indicate S/M
Roissy Ring	Ring from The Story of O movie, often used to discreetly mark one as a slave. The ring differs from the ring described in the novel. Reage's Roissy training ring is described as a large signet style ring made of iron with a gold triskelion inscribed into the top.
Role Affirmation	A spanking done when one or both partners in a DD relationship need reminding to live their roles so that the other partner can live theirs. The spanking helps remind the HOH they are in charge, and that the tih is to follow.
Role Play	Any activity in which the people involved assume roles or identities different from their own and act out a scenario. For example, one extremely common form of role-play has one of the participants assume the role of a teacher or other authority figure, and the other assume the role of a student or other character in a position of less authority, and the people act out a scenario in which the character in the position of authority somehow takes advantage of that authority, often in a sexual way.
Roman showers	Forcing the submissive vomit for pleasure. It can be done by sticking either a hand, object or genital in the subs mouth or gut punching. It can often be color coordinated. Red it the most popular color to use, by making the sub eat red foods such as red peppers.
Ronin	1. A person who feels called to slavehood/ submission but does not have a master, may begin self training; from the Japanese word for "rogue". 2. a rogue submissive who will not submit, or a Dominant that will not follow the common lifestyle rules
Rope Bunny / Rope Doll / Bondage Bunny	The bottom in a rope scene. A person who enjoys being tied or bound. Usage: Often implies that the person described is not necessarily submissive or masochistic, but enjoys bondage because he or she takes pleasure from being restrained.
Rope Cuff	Any form of tie which binds the wrists or ankles together.
Rope Dress / Karada	A full body harness that is built directly to the bottom made of rope. In Japanese bondage, rope work is considered an art form.
Rope Gag	A type of gag made by tying a rope around or through the mouth. Occasionally, a rope can be made to serve two functions by tying it around a person's head so that it passes through the mouth and around a fixed object; this both restrains the head and prevents speech.
Rope top/ rope bottom	Not a D/s relationship but a Top/bottom relationship. A rope top ties, the rope bottom is tied.
Rosebud	A type of butt plug consisting of a teardrop-shaped element connected to a narrow cylindrical neck with a flared base.
Rubber	Rubber clothing which is sometimes worn by BDSMers. It may indicate a gentler BDSM than leather, an interest in water sports or simply be a fetish.
Ruined Orgasm	A partner's genitals are stimulated to the very brink of orgasm and the stimulation is abruptly ceased
S&M	Sadism and Masochism
S.A.M.	Acronym for "smart assed masochist." A bottom or a pseudo submissive who likes to verbally tease or brat with a Dominant with the intent to control a scene or relationship, usually in hopes of extra discipline; a submissive or bottom who rejects or scorns a top or Dominant when the bottom is refused for service in the hopes of engaging attention. Frequently negative connotation.
Sadism	The act of inflicting pain causing the giver pleasure.
Sadist	Person who likes to inflict pain on others and gets sexual excitement from it. There are different types of sadists. Beware, not to confuse a BDSM enthusiast with a person who just wants to beat someone else in a non-consensual setting, i.e. abuse.
Sadomasochism	Any activity or practice involving the inflicting or receiving of pain; pain play.
Safe Call / Silent Alarm	A prearranged phone call to a friend, informing of a Dominant or submissive's personal safety during a meeting or scene date, usually at a specific time or series of times. The friend knows to call the authorities of the call does not come.
Safe signal	An action used in place of a safeword used when utilizing a safeword is not possible.
Safe word	A word or phrase used by the submissive as a signal to stop the scene or reduce the intensity. It is both a safety device and a way of managing consent insisted on by some players and avoided by others as artificial. When the bottom uses the word, he or she is said to safe out; Stop word.
Safe, Sane (Sober) and Consensual/SSC	Safe, Sane, and Consensual - AKA SSC: The mantra of Safe, Sane, and Consensual (SSC) can also be expanded to include Sober, making it SSSC. A common guiding principal for relationships and activities.
Safety cuffs	Metal handcuffs which have a thumb release, a key is not needed, though the release may be disabled.
Saint Catherine's Wheel/Catherine Wheel	A large, vertically mounted wheel. The bottom is bound securely to the wheel, after which it can be rotated to give easy access to all areas of the 'victims’ body for pleasing or teasing
Salt Daddy	A “sugar daddy” that is normally extremely unpleasant to interact with
Sapio Play	A mindfuck. That part of play where nothing has actually even started happening. A person is just in their brain freaking out.
Scat	Excrement. See Brown Sports.
Scene	A complete BDSM encounter, comparable to a romantic interlude or encounter. The scene may be in private or in a public club. 1. A specific period of BDSM activity; as in, We had a scene lasting about two hours last night. 2. Colloquial The BDSM community as a whole. 3. In the scene: participating in the organized BDSM community.
Scene friendly / KAP	Familiarity with and acceptance of the SM scene and SM participants, usually refers to a professional’s attitude (therapist, lawyer, etc.) Kink Aware Professional
School Belt / Lochgelly Tawse / The Strap	A belt preferred by teachers, especially in Scotland after English schools stopped caning. Two feet long strips of leather are cut from hides which are already tanned and curried. The leather is then dressed and the tongues cut halfway up the middle. It is these tongues which provide the nip when they strike the erring pupil's hand.
Scold's Bridle/Brank	A lockable metal cage which encloses the head, with an integrated metal protrusion which goes into the wearer's mouth, preventing speech. A rare piece of BDSM equipment modelled after a similar device used in Medieval times to punish gossipy or "troublesome" women.
Scourge	A specific type of flogger which usually has two or three long, heavy lashes attached to a rigid handle.
Scourging	A severe whipping usually to draw blood.
Segufix	A type of medical restraint system, designed to secure a person in almost any position safely and capable of being used for extended periods of time, sometimes used for bondage.
Self-Bondage	tying or binding one's own body
Sennet Whip/Bimmy	A type of single tail consisting of a length of thin rope or pleated cord, usually about 18 to 24 inches in length, knotted on the striking end and then dipped in hot tar, tallow, or wax to increase its weight and stiffness.
Sensation play	BDSM play where the intent is to push a bottom’s sensory limits using carefully controlled stimuli to the body to elicit a physical and emotional reaction. While it may involve the application of pain, it also may include non-pain play that enlivens the bottom’s nerves without the possibility of damage.
Sensory Deprivation	removal of one or more of the bottom's senses during scene. May include blindfolds, gags, ear plugs, bondage.
Sensual Domination	domination in which the dominant partner engages in activities designed to please the submissive partner.
Sensualist	A person with a strong focus on the pursuit of sensual pleasures and interests.
Seraglio	Archaic The private quarters for the members of a harem.
Serpent's Kiss	A short tawse, often no more than three or four inches long.
Serpent's Tongue	A tawse; An implement for striking consisting of a heavy, wide leather strap with a deep "V"-shaped cut in it, so that it tapers into two pointed triangular tails at the striking end.
Serve	1. To do some kind of service to or for a dominant. 2.The physically or textually get something, be it a drink, food, or an object, for a Dominant by a submissive. 3. To willingly attend the pleasure of and promote the interests and resources of a Dominant in a long term relationship.
Service	Sometimes a slave may be required to serve a Master or Mistress in both sexual and non-sexual ways. May be a duty such as getting drinks, cleaning house, paperwork, or a sexual act.
Service D/s	A specific type of D/s centered around the submissive serving the dominant in practical ways, as by bringing the dominant food or drink and so on. For people involved in service D/s, sexual submission may or may not be a part of the relationship. Commentary: For a submissive whose focus is service D/s, everyday acts that many people might take for granted become a powerful symbol of submission. Even something as simple as bringing the dominant a drink can be a token of the submissive's submission.
Service submission	1. A relationship where the submissive is mostly concerned with promoting and contributing to the resources of the Dominant, may be sexual or domestic. 2. A T/b relationship where the bottom participates in order to assist the Top fulfill a fantasy, learn or practice a skill but is not in a romantic power exchange.
Service Top	A dominant whose primary interest in domination is to provide an enjoyable experience for the submissive or to act out a scenario which the submissive finds appealing, but who may not get any direct gratification from the act of domination itself.
Session	A scene. Most often used to indicate a scene with a prodomme.
Sex Fighting	A specific form of resistance play in which one person 'fights' with or wrestles another person to subdue them before sex.
Sexual imprinting / reimprinting	There is a school of thought stating that sexual responses result from imprinting based on past associations, experiences, background, and environment, often dating back to early childhood. Altering sexual behavior by changing responses and creating new associations is a technique called reimprinting.
Sexual Magic/ Sensual Magic	Positive descriptive terms for sadomasochism.
Shi	Japanese kanji for "Master" or "Teacher". Frequently used for discrete symbolic tattoos today. The proper pronunciation of the word is "shi" ("shoe"). It is typically used as an honorific for those who earn a living with the activity which they have mastered.
Shibari	The act of the Japanese art of decoratively tying. May be rope or ribbons. Specifically refers to the art of tying and the study thereof. Not specifically bondage related. In bondage use, natural or natural looking fibers are preferred. Colored ropes and knots are acceptable as the aesthetic of the tie is the tantamount goal. Japanese for "to tie", in the BDSM community it refers to contemporary forms of Japanese Bondage. Though the history of Shibari cannot be traced definitively, it's thought to have originated with the Eastern Martial Arts form of Hojōjutsu. It is consequently not surprising that common forms found in Shibari resemble stress positions such as a Strappado or hog tie. Many other forms are intended to expose or shame the rope bottom. Symmetry and deliberate asymmetry, as well as geometric patterns are a large part of the aesthetic of Shibari. However it should be noted that Shibari is not a type of decorative tying, though the aesthetic of a tie is important, the purpose of the tie is to restrain, immobilize and sometimes torture the bottom. Traditionally Shibari uses natural fiber rope, such as jute or hemp, that is roughly 5 - 7 millimeters in diameter and 8 meters long. Shibari utilizes very few knots and typically relies on hitches for the structure of the patterns. See Kinbaku and Hojōjutsu.
Shoe bondage	Using a submissive's shoes to aid in restraint. Also, tying or strapping the shoes to the feet.
Shoe Fetish/Retifism	a fixation on shoes, sometimes as part of submission. Submissive shoe fetishism may involve acts such as licking, kissing, or caring for the dominant partner's shoes.
Signal Whip	A type of small single tail, usually three to four feet in length.
Single tail	Any of a class of whips having a single lash; most commonly applied to bullwhips and similar implements.
Sissfication/Feminzation	The practice of enforcing activities or behaviors on a male submissive which are typically associated with women, as cross-dressing, requiring the submissive to sit when urinating, and the like. Often used as a form of humiliation play.
sissy	A submissive male cross dresser or a male submissive who is panty trained, even though he is not actually a transvestite. A "sissy maid" is a male, cross dressed in a maid's uniform, who performs household and otherwise serves his Dominant. May also be called sissy slut.
Sjambok	similar to a crop without the flat end, carved out of thick hippopotamus hide or a synthetic. It is also considered a whip but it is swung like a rod or stick.
Slapper/Slaphappy	Form of a paddle with hinged second surface to produce extra-loud noise on contact.
Slashy Speak	The internet protocol of capitalizing Dominant names and pronouns and using lowercase for submissive names and pronouns. Mixed groups use both. Example: Y/you, T/they.
Slave	The bottom in a total power exchange relationship. Once used more generally for an SM bottom, this is now becoming limited to submissive in a long-term dominant submissive relationship or a submissive in Gor. May indicate that the submissive has relinquished power to the Dominant, over every aspect of life, including work, money, clothing, even bodily function. May be voluntary or non-consensual (illegal) or in a relationship of consensual non-consent. Does not retain the ability to decline an order or service.
Slave (sub) Positions	Many of the commonly used formal submissive positions are: Attend, Assume Spot, Bring/Get/Fetch, Come, Present, Follow, Crawl, Down on back, Close, Display, Dismissal, Classic English Display, Modern Display, At Ease, Stool, English, Front or back cuff, Present down, Guard, Surrender, Humble, Leave, English Obedience, Modern Obedience, Open, Worship, Whip, Exit. It should be noted before you read, these positions were taken from the Old Guard and adapted to the New Guard.
Sling	An item of furniture, usually made of leather, canvas, or nylon webbing, suspended by chains or cables from the ceiling. A person may sit in the sling and arranged for easy availability to such activities as sexual intercourse, fisting, and the like. Slings may include additional mechanisms to restrain the person within the sling or to keep the legs spread apart.
Slow word	A signal by the submissive that things are getting too intense and you should change or decrease the stimulation.
Slut	A person who embraces the freedom to engage in sexual activity in accordance with their desires, with one or multiple partners, regardless of conventional values.
Smart Ass Dom/me / S.A.D.	They are known to do/say things such as: The submissive begs to come, the Dom/me looks perplexed and says "silly, you are already here."
Smoking / Capnolagnia	The increased taboo of smoking may have increased the popularity of the fetish of seeing a person smoking or an image thereof.
Smotherbox	A lockable box, often padded with leather, designed to be locked over the head of a submissive and used for queening. The smotherbox contains a large opening which exposes the submissive's face, allowing the dominant to straddle or sit on the box. May include a mechanism for affixing the box to the floor or to an item of furniture such as a bed or bench, so that the submissive can not move.
Snowballing	passing semen from person to person, from mouth or anus to mouth, saliva increasing the volume.
Soft Limit	a limit that may be pushed and may be negotiable.
Sound	Instruments for probing and dilating passages within the body, frequently urethral sounds. Several different types and shapes.
Spankee	A person who enjoys being spanked.
Spanker	A person who enjoys spanking others.
Spanking	Hitting on the arse, usually with the hand, but sometimes with a paddle. Spanking may be used as a mild punishment or to stimulate the bottom’s nerves. Sometimes spanking forms the only BDSM activity. Can be erotica and release endorphins. It is also often the major activity in various popular scenes such as age play or corporal punishment scenes. The technique of spanking is variable but many spankers find that the cupped hand striking upwards at the lower part of the bare arse is particularly appreciated. When the spanking is heavier gloves may be worn to protect the Top’s hands.
Spanking Bench	A low bench, often padded and often equipped with restraints or tie-down points, over which a person can be bent or tied and spanked or flogged.
Spanking Glove	A glove, often made of leather or heavy rubber and frequently (though not always) fingerless, designed to protect the wearer's palm as the wearer spanks another person.
Spanking Skirt	Tight skirt with the buttocks cut out, exposing the buttocks
Spanko	A person with a strong interest in spanking and/or being spanked.
Speculum	A medical instrument commonly consisting of two or occasionally three probes designed to be inserted into the vagina or (less commonly) the anus, together with a mechanism intended to spread the probes apart, opening the vagina or anus. Sometimes used in medical role play scenarios.
Spencer Paddle	A specific type of oblong wooden paddle, allegedly invented by an American schoolteacher named Harold Spencer in the 1930s, that has a rounded end, is generally about fifteen to twenty inches long, and has a number of holes drilled in the striking surface. The holes are intended to prevent the formation of a cushion of air between the paddle and the person being paddled, which Spencer reasoned might soften the blow. Commentary: Paddles of this design were used in American schools until very recently; as a result, this style of paddle is popular among people who enjoy paddling as part of student/teacher role play.
Spider Gag	A specific type of ring gag featuring a central ring to which short rods or metal extensions are fitted, so as to hold the mouth open and keep the lips open as well.
Spiraling Out Of Control	Often said by, or of, the tih in DD or submissive/slave. When a tih feels that everything is out of control, and they don't know how to find their center. Usually takes their HOH/Dom stepping in and taking over to help bring them back to balance. If a spanking it used, it is often called a Reset.
Splenda Daddy	A “cheap” sugar daddy who can never seem to pay the full amount, this is used insultingly because they are typically the ones who always try to “barter” or “negotiate” prices
Splooshing	Rubbing food all over ones self for sexual enjoyment. Any kind of food will do, as long as it edible.
Spread-eagle	A posture in which a person is bound or restrained with the legs spread apart and the arms spread wide with the hands over the person's head.
Spreader Bar	A rigid bar attached to ankle or wrist cuffs. Designed to hold the legs or arms apart.
Squeeze Signal	Non verbal safe word. Usually done by squeezing the other persons hand to signal something is wrong.
Squick	A feeling of disgust, repulsion, or similar negative emotional reaction to the idea of an activity which does not appeal to someone. Also, verb to feel disgust or revulsion at an idea
SSBBW	super size big beautiful woman
St. Andrew's Cross/Diagonal Cross	A stationary diagonal cross upon which the submissive is tied.
Stand and Model / S.A.M.	In the scene, from Gay male culture, S.A.M. means "Stand and Model": posing in leather -- usually at a leather bar -- as if it's a lifestyle statement when it's actually a fashion statement.
Stapling	Medical stapler is used to staple the body. i.e. labia lips stapled together, edge of cock to leg or abdomen. Warning- Not for the untrained. Watch for infections.
Steel Bondage	Any form of bondage involving metal restraints or equipment, as handcuffs, leg irons, and the like.
Sting	A sensation of quick, sharp pain. Usage: The feeling caused by being struck by a flogger is usually described in terms of thud or sting. Commentary: All other things being equal, a flogger with a large number of lashes (def. 2) produces a sensation with less sting and more thud than a similar flogger with fewer lashes; a flogger with narrow lashes produces a sensation that is more sting and less thud than a similar flogger with wide lashes; a flogger with soft lashes (as with a flogger made with lashes of suede or deerskin) produces more thud and less sting than a similar flogger made with stiff lashes; and a flogger with braided or knotted lashes produces more sting than a similar flogger whose lashes are not braided or knotted.
Stock Whip	Any of a class of single tail whips having a relatively long, rigid handle, often made of wood, which is outside the braiding of the whip's lash (as opposed to single tails such as a bullwhip, where the handle is enclosed in the end of the lash)
Stocks	Large, heavy piece of bondage furniture based on historical torture or punishment devices, consisting of a two hinged pieces of wood with cut-out semi-circular holes that when locked together form circular holes to secure the neck, wrists and/or ankles. The position leaves the bottom trapped for play or humiliation.
Straightjacket	A heavy jacket, often made of canvas, whose sleeves end in long straps, which are wrapped around the jacket and buckled in place. A person confined in a straitjacket has very little freedom of motion; freeing one's self from a straitjacket is virtually impossible.
Strap	An implement used for striking a person, consisting of a long, flat piece of heavy leather. Also, verb to strike with a strap.
Strap-In	A dildo designed to penetrate a person either vaginally or anally and then be held in place by a strap or harness, sometimes equipped with a lock to prevent it from being removed.
Strap-On	A dildo attached to straps, a harness, or some other mechanism designed to be worn around the waist.
Strapple	An elongated paddle with a bit more flex so that is something intermediate between a strap and a paddle.
Stress Relief	A spanking used when either partner gets stressed out. The endorphins released for both partners helps the stresses of the day fade away, and a release happens.
Strobe Light	Some think it adds a mesmerizing feel to play/scene, others feel it disorients the subs. WARNING: Strobe lights or flickering candles can trigger hidden epilepsy seizures. This activity should not be done in a public setting or demo/lecture/workshop, you could cause someone a seizure by your use of a strobe light.
Strop	a piece of leather or other flexible material or a long, narrow piece of wood having it's faces covered in leather or an abrasive, use for sharpening razors, as a striking tool or an abrasion tool. Leather, usually oblong and about 2-3" wide and at least 10" long. A ring or grommet of rope. A rope sling for handling submissives or cargo.
Stuff Gag	When the Top stuffs something in the bottom's mouth that can not be spit out or is taped into place
Sub Drop	The emotional and physical reaction of the rebalancing of hormones after reaching subspace in a BDSM play session. May include fatigue, sadness, pain, and depression for hours to weeks afterward, depending on the play, individual, and aftercare.
Sub Space	The sensation whereby a submissive is transported to a place where all that is known and felt are the feelings being blossomed in them by their Dom/me/Top. sub Space is VERY individual and where one submissive may reach this state of 'floating' through soft touches and whispered words, some submissives may reach this place through tight bondage and intense floggings. It is difficult to pin down an exact definition for sub space which will tell one who hasn't experienced it exactly what it is. This may be one of those situations where 'you'll know it when you feel it' truly does apply. And, once a submissive knows her/his sub space, it is a beautiful thing. Possibly a mild form of hypnotism produced by the body's reaction to sensation. The production of endorphins, which produce a dreamy state or a feeling of well-being that is similar to the effects of morphine and other opiates.
Submissive	A person who is emotionally fulfilled by gifting or trading their personal power to Another with control over them in exchange for the fulfillment of certain needs, be they protection or erotic. The bottom in the D/s power exchange. In its simplest form this can be purely erotic and temporary. At its most profound it can encompass every facet of life and thread eroticism into the simplest task. "sub", "subservient", "subbie". A submissive retains the right to refuse specific service and all service is voluntary and consensual.
Submit	To give up power or control. A person who gives up power or psychological control to another is said to submit to that person. Submission: the act of giving up control.
Sugar Baby/SB	The younger recipient (usually female or a bottom) of interest from a sugar daddy or sugar mama, especially financial and romantic in an intergenerational relationship
Sugar Daddy/SD	a boyfriend who comes with financial benefits. Sugar benefactors can help to cover tuition, bills, and frequently enjoy bestowing gifts upon their partners.
Sugar Mommy/SM	a girlfriend who comes with financial benefits. Sugar benefactors can help to cover tuition, bills, and frequently enjoy bestowing gifts upon their partners.
Suspension	Being bound and suspended from a high hard point, attached with rope, leather, or net bound around wrists, ankles, legs, arms, torso, or feet. Considered an artform by riggers. Warning, great care and preparation should be taken for this, as falls or improper bondage could do serious harm.