The Garden :: Petals and Thorns

Gender and Sexuality Glossary Q-T

This glossary is, by definition and nature, incomplete due to ever evolving definitions and separation of gender and orientation. The Garden is aware that there are many genders and orientations are not represented here due to population concentration and space available. However, if members wish specific definitions added, please send us a note and we will add it.

Quasiplatonic	Person whose interest in another is closer than friendship but not easily categorized as romantic
queer	1. An umbrella term which embraces a matrix of sexual preferences, orientations, and habits of the not-exclusively- heterosexual-and-monogamous majority. Queer includes lesbians, gay men, bisexuals, transpeople, intersex persons, the radical sex communities, and many other sexually transgressive (underworld) explorers. 2. This term is sometimes used as a sexual orientation label instead of ‘bisexual' as a way of acknowledging that there are more than two genders to be attracted to, or as a way of stating a non-heterosexual orientation without having to state who they are attracted to. 3. A reclaimed word that was formerly used solely as a slur but that has been semantically overturned by members of the maligned group, who use it as a term of defiant pride. ‘Queer' is an example of a word undergoing this process. For decades ‘queer' was used solely as a derogatory adjective for gays and lesbians, but in the 1980s the term began to be used by gay and lesbian activists as a term of self-identification. Eventually, it came to be used as an umbrella term that included gay men, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgendered people. Nevertheless, a sizable percentage of people to whom this term might apply still hold ‘queer' to be a hateful insult, and its use by heterosexuals is often considered offensive. Similarly, other reclaimed words are usually offensive to the in-group when used by outsiders, so extreme caution must be taken concerning their use when one is not a member of the group.
Queerplatonic	Refers to a relationship that has the sort of intensity, closeness, and emotional connection expected of a romantic relationship, but is not romantic. Often abbreviated to QP, with QPR meaning a QP relationship and QPP standing for QP partner. People who are uncomfortable using the term "queer" use quasiplatonic instead to refer to the same type of relationship.
Questioning	An individual who is unsure of and/or exploring their gender identity and/or sexual orientation.
Quoigender	feeling as if the concept of gender is inapplicable or nonsensical to one's self
Quoiromantic	from the French word quoi meaning "what"; the feeling of not being able to distinguish romantic from platonic attraction and therefore being unsure if one has experienced it; used to replace wtfromantic because of vulgarity
Rainbow Pride Flag	The rainbow flag, commonly known as the gay pride flag or LGBT pride flag, is a symbol of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) pride and LGBT social movements. Originally devised by San Francisco artist Gilbert Baker, the design has undergone several revisions since its debut in 1978, first to remove colors then restore them based on availability of fabrics. The most common variant consists of six stripes: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and violet. The flag is typically flown horizontally, with the red stripe on top, as it would be in a natural rainbow.
Real Life Test / RLT	A period of time in which a transsexual person is required to live full time in the role of the sex they identify with (i.e., a transsexual person born female would be living full time as a male) before the medical community will begin the medical gender reassignment process. The RLT is required under the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care, but other Standards of Care do not require a RLT or may use discretion in determining the length of a RLT. Individual mental health and medical professionals may also use discretion when determining if a RLT is necessary for a given individual.
Recip-	the feeling of only experiencing attraction once someone else has experienced it towards them first
Requies-	not feeling attraction when emotionally exhausted
Responsible Non-Monogamy	Any relationship that is not sexually and/or emotionally exclusive by the explicit agreement and with the full knowledge of all the parties involved. Responsible non-monogamy can take several forms, the two most common of which are polyamory and swinging, and is distinct from cheating in that everyone involved knows about and agrees to the activity. Responsible non-monogamy often explicitly spells out the conditions under which it is permissible for one person to take on additional partners, and often includes some form of safer-sex agreement such as a condom contract as well. Contrast monogamy, closed marriage.
Safe Zone	While many safe zone programs on various college and high school campuses have individually unique logos to represent their particular program, the circle design has come to represent the universal safe zone symbol. The green circle (sometimes a symbol for LGBTQ allies) represents safety or protection. The inverted pink triangle represents the LGBTQ community. Together they depict protection for LGBTQ people. Sometimes stop signs are a part of many safe zone placards (suggesting "stop hate" or "stop bullying").
same gender loving / SGL	A term sometimes used by members of the African American / Black community to express an alternative sexual orientation without relying on terms and symbols of European descent. The term emerged in the early 1990's with the intention of offering Black women who love women and Black men who love men a voice, a way of identifying and being that resonated with the uniqueness of Black culture in life.
Sans-	when there's no trend line in the attraction one feels, it just does what it does
Saphhiomni	a combination term for those who identify as a feminine spectrum identity, are SEXUALLY attracted to ONLY other feminine identities, however romantically they consider themselves panromantic/omniromantic. Pronounced "saff-fe-ohm-nee". Term inspired by other sexual attraction/romantic attraction terms (like "pandemic" for pansexual demiromantic).
Sapiosexual	Person sexually attracted to people for their intelligence
secondary sex characteristics	Physical traits that distinguish a body as more "male" or "female" in appearance, but that are not directly part of the reproductive system/gonads. They include facial and body hair growth, muscle development, fat pattern distribution, voice changes, and breast development, etc.
Sensu-	an orientation that is based off of sensuality as opposed to romance, sexuality, etc.; different from sensual orientation; when romantic or sexual type pleasure is derived from sensual acts or situations
sex	A medical term designating a certain physical combination of gonads, chromosomes, genitalia, secondary sex characteristics, and hormonal balances. Usually subdivided into "male" and "female," causing some trouble for categorizing intersex bodies and those who otherwise fall in between those poles.
Sex assigned at birth /SAAB	Refers to the sex (male or female) a doctor designated a person as after examining their genitals.
Sex Identity	How a person identifies physically: female, male, in between, beyond, or neither.
sex reassignment surgery /SRS/ sex change operation	This term is somewhat of a misnomer (especially for FTMs), because it implies there is one surgical procedure for successful transition. For MTFs, SRS usually indicates vaginoplasty and/or orchiectomy. Breast augmentation/implants may or may not be needed or desired by MTFs. For FTMs, there are several surgical procedures involved with gender transition, including chest reconstruction surgery, hysterectomy/oophorectomy, and different types of genital reconstruction surgery (GRS). Many FTMs undergo chest surgery, but not GRS. Some have chest surgery and a hysterectomy, but not GRS. Some have all three procedures (which may total more than three surgeries, as GRS can often involve several surgical procedures). Both MTFs and FTMs may not be able to afford any surgery at all, yet live very successfully as women men in society through ongoing hormone treatment. The requirements for "changing sex" under the law (i.e., changing one's legally recognized sex) vary from state to state, and often depend on the amount and type of surgery or hormone therapy one has had. A few states will not allow for a change in legal sex no matter how much surgery of treatment one has had. Thus, the idea that there is one, clear-cut surgical solution for "changing sex" is a bit misleading.
Sexual Orientation	The desire for intimate emotional and/or sexual relationships with people of the same gender/sex, another gender/sex, or multiple genders/sexes.
sexuality	A person's exploration of sexual acts, sexual orientation, sexual pleasure, and desire.
Shemale / Trap	A term, usually derogatory, used most often in the porn industry for a pre-op transsexual who has already developed breasts but still has an intact penis.
Show Queen	A gay man of any age and body type. He is obsessed with musicals and drag, and always loves to put on a good show.
silicone injections	Sometimes used by MTF women to augment the appearance of breasts, hips, thighs, buttocks, legs, cheeks, chins, and lips. Considered to be hazardous to the health of the recipient.
Skolio-	the feeling of attraction towards nonbinary genders; replaced by cetero- because of problematic wording
Social Dysphoria	Discomfort experienced when acting in ways socially different than your gender or being addressed in ways different to your gender
SOFFA	An abbreviation for Significant Others, Friends, Family, and Allies of trans people.
Soft Butch/Futch	Used to describe a queer woman who presents masculine, but also slightly feminine. A soft butch may dress in men's clothing, but have long hair or wear makeup
Soy boy / Sissy	derogatory slang for feminine men.
Specio-	feeling attraction towards someone based off of specific traits, not gender
spironolactone	Brand name "Aldactone," an anti-androgen often prescribed in combination with estrogen therapy for MTF transsexuals. See also "anti-androgen," "estrogen" and "hormone therapy."
Spivak pronouns Ey/em/eir/eirs	gender neutral pronouns - pronoun declension: Ey laughed / I called em / Eir eyes gleam / That is eirs / Ey likes emself
Sport Dyke	a lesbian, who more than anything, identifies with being an athlete.
Squish	An intense feeling of platonic attraction and appreciation toward a particular person; the platonic version of a crush.
SRS	see "sex reassignment surgery"
Stand To Pee Device/ STP device	A device designed to aid the user in standing to pee at a urinal or toilet. There are a few different types of STP devices, both homemade and store-bought. Some STP's fit into packers.
Standards of Care /SOC	When someone uses the term "Standards of Care," they are often (but not always) referring to the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care (HBSOC), which are a set of standards and guidelines used by professionals for the medical and mental health treatment of transsexuals. Certain health clinics and gender clinics have devised their own Standards of Care for transsexual and transgender people, which may differ from the HBSOC. See also "Harry Benjamin Standards of Care."
stealth	A transsexual, once transitioned, may choose not to reveal his or her transsexual status to others (for example, to coworkers, friends, neighbors, etc.); this is referred to as "going stealth" or "being stealth."
Stem/Kiki	A stem is a lesbian who identifies somewhere between "stud" and "femme".
Stereotype	A preconceived or oversimplified generalization about an entire group of people without regard for their individual differences. Some stereotypes can be positive. However, they can have a negative impact, simply because they involve broad generalizations that ignore individual realities.
stone	A person who may or may not desire sexual contact with the genitals or breasts. Often used as "stone butch" or "stone femme."
Stonewall Riots	On June 28^th, 1969, New York City Police attempted a routine raid on the Stonewall Inn, a working-class gay and lesbian bar in New York's Greenwich Village. Unexpectedly, the patrons resisted, and the incident escalated into a riot that continued for several days. Many people attribute this event as the catalyst for the American Gay Liberation Movement, although there were previous riots and actions against homophobic and transphobic oppression. It is often left out that the more frequent patrons of the Stonewall Inn were transwomen, drag queens, and butch lesbians.
Straight / heterosexual	A man or woman who is attracted to people of the other binary gender.
Straight Pride	Straight pride is a slogan that arose in the late 1980s and early 1990s and has been used primarily by social conservative groups as a political stance and strategy.
Straight-Acting	A term usually applied to gay men who readily pass as heterosexual. The term implies that there is a certain way that gay men should act that is significantly different from heterosexual men. Straight-acting gay men may be critiqued by members of the LGBTQ community for seemingly accessing heterosexual privilege.
Subgender	mostly agender with a bit of another gender
Surgender	having a gender that is 100% one gender but with more of another gender added on top of that
Switch/Versatile	1. A person who is both a ‘Top' and a ‘Bottom;' there may or may not be a preference for one or the other. 2. A person who is both a Dom and a sub; there may or may not be preference for one over the other.
Systemgender	a gender that is the sum of all the genders within a multiple or median system
testosterone / T	Sometimes shortened to "T." An androgenic hormone responsible for producing masculine secondary sex characteristics such as facial hair growth, deepening of the voice, increased body hair growth, and increased muscle development. Testosterone therapy is administered to FTMs to induce the presence of masculine secondary sex characteristics.
testosterone gel	A form of testosterone applied directly to the skin on a daily basis. Care must be taken to avoid skin-to-skin contact with a partner on the site of application. Transfer of the testosterone from the site can be prevented by keeping the area covered.
They	gender neutral pronouns. An epicene (gender-neutral) third-person pronoun that can refer to plural antecedents of any gender and, informally, to a singular antecedent that refers to a person.
Third Gender	1. A person who does not identify with the traditional genders of "man" or "woman," but identifies with another gender, is between or beyond genders, or is some combination of genders; 2. The gender category available in societies that recognize three or more genders
Thym-	feeling attraction which varies depending on emotional state
Top	1. A person who is the giving partner during sexual activity. 2. A person who is the penetrating partner during sexual activity. 3. A person who is said to take a more dominant role during sexual interactions. May also be known as ‘Pitcher.'
tracheal shave	A surgery sometimes obtained by MTFs to reduce the cartilage in the area of the throat to conform to more feminine dimensions, to greatly reduce the appearance of an Adam's apple.
tranny	Slang for transsexual, usually considered derogatory, though sometimes used as "in-group" slang.
tranny chaser	A term primarily used to describe people who prefer or actively seek transpeople for sexual or romantic relations. While this term is claimed in an affirmative manner by some, it is largely regarded as derogatory.
Trans	An abbreviation that is used to refer to a transgender/gender queer/ gender non-conforming person. This use allows a person to state a gender variant identity without having to disclose hormonal or surgical status/intentions. This term is sometimes used to refer to the whole gender non-conforming community that might include (but is not limited to) transgender, genderqueer, genderfluid, non-binary, genderfuck, transsexual, agender, third gender, two-spirit, bigender, trans man, trans woman, gender non-conforming, trans masculine, trans feminine, and gender questioning.
transactivism	The political and social movement to create equality for gender variant persons.
Transfeminine	1. An umbrella term used to describe those who were assigned male at birth (AMAB), but identify as more female than male. Can include both trans women and non-binary trans people. 2. An AMAB person who identifies as trans and to some degree identifies with femaleness or womanhood, but does not identify completely or solely as a woman. It should be noted that transfeminine is not a descriptor of gender expression but of identity. Transfeminine people do not necessarily have to be stereotypically feminine in their interests or even presentation. 3. Transfeminine Activism symbol shown.
transgender	Broadly speaking, transgender people are individuals whose gender expression and/or gender identity differs from conventional expectations based on the physical sex they were born into. The word transgender is an umbrella term which is often used to describe a wide range of identities and experiences, including: FTMs, MTFs, cross-dressers, drag queens, drag kings, gender queers, and many more. Because transgender is an umbrella term, it is often thought to be an imprecise term that does not adequately describe the particulars of specific identities and experiences. (For example, the identity/experience of a post-operative FTM transsexual will probably be very different from that of a female-identified drag king who performs on weekends, but both are often lumped together under the term "transgender.")
Transgender Flag	Transgender Pride ﬂag was designed by Monica Helms. It was ﬁrst shown at a pride parade in Phoenix, Arizona, USA in 2000. The ﬂag represents the transgender community and consists of ﬁve horizontal stripes. Two light blue which is the traditional color for baby boys, two pink for girls, with a white stripe in the center for those who are transitioning, who feel they have a neutral gender or no gender, and those who are intersex
Transgender Man / TransMan	People assigned female at birth but living as a man may describe themselves as a "transgender man". This term can be shortened to "trans man". Some may also use the acronym FtM (female-to-male). Many prefer simply to be identified simply as a "man"
Transgender Symbol	Symbols of the female (♀), male (♂) and Genderqueer (⚨) symbols combined (⚧) is sometimes used to represent transgender people
Transgender Woman / TransWoman	People assigned male at birth but living as a woman may call themselves a "transgender woman". This terms can be shortened to "trans woman". Some may also use the acronym MtF (male-to-female). Many prefer simply to be identified simply as a "woman".
transgendered (Trans) Community	A loose category of people who transcend gender norms in a wide variety of ways. The central ethic of this community is unconditional acceptance of individual exercise of freedoms including gender and sexual identity and orientation.
transgenderist	A person who lives full-time in the gender role they are most comfortable in without the intention or desire for GRS. Electrolysis, cosmetic facial or body contouring surgeries or hormones may be undergone by a transgenderist.
transhate	The irrational hatred of those who are gender variant, usually expressed through violent and often deadly means.
transition	The act(s) of changing from one sex to the other, and/or the act(s) of changing one's physical body and/or appearance as part of a sex/gender change. For most FTMs, transition is not a single discrete event, but a gradual set of changes over a period of time. As such, it is difficult to determine exactly when transition begins and when it ends. Some feel that their transition begins the day they begin hormone treatment. Some feel it begins when they tell their loved ones about their identity. Some feel it begins when they change their name legally to a male name. Some feel they are "in transition" for a few years while hormonal changes settle in. Some feel that their transition has officially ended when and if they are legally recognized as male. Some feel their transition is complete when they have completed genital reconstruction surgery. In short, what constitutes "being in transition" differs among trans men.
Transmasculine	1. An umbrella term used to describe those who were assigned female at birth (AFAB), but identify as more male than female. Can include both trans men and non-binary trans people 2. An AFAB person who identifies as trans and to some degree identifies with maleness or manhood, but does not identify completely or solely as a man. It should be noted that transmasculine is not a descriptor of gender expression but of identity. Transmasculine people do not necessarily have to be stereotypically masculine in their interests or even presentation.
Transneutral	A term used to describe transgender people who were assigned male or female at birth, but identify with neutral gendered feelings to a greater extent than with femininity or masculinity. It is used the same way as "transfeminine" or "transmasculine", but for neutral feelings. It can be used to describe gendered feelings, or as a gender itself.
Transphobia	Direct negative attitudes toward and unfair treatment of those who are transgender or gender non-conforming. Transphobic behavior can range from ridiculing trans* people, to verbal abuse, to acts of physical violence, often including murder. Transphobia can be seen within the LGBQ community, as well as in general society.
Transsexual	This is a term used by some people who permanently change their bodies, usually, but not always, using hormones or surgery. But some people who go through this process - known as the "transition" - prefer to be known simply as transgender, rather than transsexual. It's best to ask which people prefer.
Transvestite/TV	A dated term for people of a wide variety of identities who dressed in clothing that didn't conform to the gender-based expectations of society. People once referred to as "transvestites" might today identify as transgender, gender non-conforming, or cross-dressers.
Trigender	the feeling of having three simultaneous or fluctuating genders
tuck	The technique of hiding male genitals.
Twink	gay slang for a young man in his late teens to early twenties whose traits may include: general physical attractiveness; little to no body or facial hair; a slim to average build; and a youthful appearance that belies an older chronological age.
Two-Spirit	A Native American term for people who blend the masculine and the feminine. It is commonly used to describe individuals who historically crossed gender. It is often used by contemporary LGBTQ Native American people to describe themselves.
Twunk	A muscular but slender, young, gay male. More muscular than a twink