Cickqueaning is gaining popularity, I wonder if it will become a trend. Some see it as a great way of keeping their man, what their man wants and could be fun. Actually, in order for it to be successful and good for both, you have to want it and genuinely be turned on by it.
A cuckquean isn't as common as many think or want it to be, lol. Some women will have threesomes and groups etc, as they want to, for their own pleasure, as they're curious and as they're asked to and want to please or as it'e expected and wanted.
Some of these are awesome, some aren't, as hey, consent and coercion!
Some may realise they're a cuckquean.
There are a few definitions around what a cuckquean is, and spellings etc.
Some define it as a wife who is compliant in her fetish for her husband's 'cheating or adultery', so the female equivalent of the male cuckold. The basic definition is the wife of an unfaithful man. Cuck is a reference (like a male cuckold) to the cuckoo bird's nesting habits of usurping others, it was first used to describe a man with an unfaithful partner in the 13th century. Quean seems to date back to the 17th century and was used to derisively describe an (often older) woman. It could be based on the Old English word cwene, with many meanings from old to barren.
Clearly as a fetish it can mean partner, not just husband!
There are no rules on how to do this, many women vary as to how it turns them on and also vary in their boundaries and exploration, from soft to hard, bdsm or not, power change or not, multiple at once (party/orgy for example).
However, rules and boundaries within the people partaking need talking about, deciding and agreeing, with soft, hard limits etc. Pre mortem what could go wrong and what you could do within the situation to stop, support, carry on etc too. There has to be a consensus of what is done by whom. However, in the heat of the moment people get carried away, so a clear set of boundaries matters here.
So...
For some a cuckquean is a willing participant in sexual activities with the partner and another. This can mean actively, non active, in that she is tied to watch, near, underneath or not able to see but hear etc.
She may be involved in preparation of the partner or female and that is the end of the involvement, so ritualistic potentially.
She may or may not be involved in finding the other woman, in their communications etc. Some men want you to find the other woman completely alone, however in my experience, they need a connection too.
She may be active in the group chat before and be allowed to talk or not talk, to watch their growing connection.
She may derive sexual pleasure, but may not, it may be other aspects that turn her on.
She may love compersion, for others it's pragmatic (he will get bored)
She may want another constant partner as a poly group where this can be continuous as a fetish and or relationship structure
The partner may decide how much sexual contact she has, or she has free will to decide.
She may be sent recordings, pictures, video etc to watch and listen to.
She may or may not be subjected to and or want humiliation and degradation as part of the sexual/play acts by both the partner and the other woman. This can be incidental or intentional.
She may love the simple submission of it and it isn't sexual, in that he is getting pleasure and respect that she feels he loves, wants, deserves.
She may also love the return. This is not spoken about a lot. The other partner may be more than her, larger, smaller, younger, older, brighter, whatever.
She may love being taunted and teased on line, him wanting others and making it clear.
She may love serving both
Working with this fear alone can be a turn on. Part of it is their return to you, the choice is you, the want is still for you.
The final 10% is that constant fear/risk that I am truly "less than" the others. I love when they laugh at me, I love how sweet some of his girls are. I love how much they adore him...because they never have to deal with the garbage of a relationship with real life and everything.
It often means the male is Dominant and the female is submissive, however not always. For some it is simply a fetish and doesn't include power exchange.
It can be multi sexual too in that the male partner may sleep with a man and may or may not include the cuckquean. However it is more common to be heterosexual as a fantasy.
The fantasy can be very different to reality. It can be so built up that it is a disappointment or far more threatening. For example, for me, I love listening, videos, recordings as my head imagines far more effectively than the reality.
This is not cheating, this is agreed and can be agreed with pre and or post knowledge, so knowing about a meet, being involved or not, or being involved afterwards by watching, hearing etc.
Intent matters here, if he sees it as a way to fuck others and not involve her, then it becomes a betrayal and takes away from the relationship, it is potentially abusive.
The other woman can be a way of learning new things about your partner, watching and his responses.
If she forces him into it as she wants it, then that isn't ok either as it isn't consensual and potentially abusive.
Agree agreement cues, is she ok for both of you, do you both want like, unless the cuskqueans consent isn't needed here.
It is exciting, so consequentially people can go too fast and push it, them, go slow, maintain successful patterns vs destructive ones.
Once tried, sit and review, what worked what didn't, why and what next?
The above is a shit ton to work out, work on and work through. It isn't as easy as meet her for dinner and bring her back. There are so many variables here.
Looking at Fetlife, these are the figures:
cuckquean
3,638 Kinksters into and curious
Cuckqueaning
813 Kinksters into and curious
Being a cuckcake for cuckqueaning couples
278 Kinksters into and curious
cuckquean reality
148 Kinksters into and curious
Cuckquean Humiliation
161 Kinksters into and curious
I wonder as well what the gender split is, a lot of men look for a cuckquean as they like the ideal. It is also interesting that some men, when discussing this are thrilled and excited, and some men when it comes to it don't act on it, want it and or struggle with it.
Finding a third can be easy and complex. Is she short term it could be a fuck, play, long term is more complex to look at compatibility. Unicorns can be hard enough to find, let alone adding in fetishes, relationships etc. A unicorn is a person who interacts sexually with couples and can be hard to find for some, be realistic. In a cuckquean relationship this third is often referred to as a cuckcake (also a stag or a vixen), she is the female version of a "bull" in cuckolding, the woman you share your partner with. She can be vanilla, Dominant, switch or submissive.Some women want a dominant cuckcake, others like a submissive cuckcake their partner can take full control of so it's all directed by him. He can be the Stag, the hot husband, Daddy, Master, Dominant.
For me, I would love another female partner who is his too, some long term, some can come and go, some will just be at parties. The long term ones would be my partner too, even all living together. There is a hierarchy as I am the wife, however there is an equality in care, desires, life and needs.
I like it being with me and watching, I like to be sent photos, voice recordings, the noises really really work for me, hearing him enjoying her and not caring what's said and shared. I love to be found lacking, humiliated, she's better, hotter, sexier anything 'er. I like hearing him say I am less too, out loud vocal. I also love being told of his desires, antics and wants for others. However the cherry for me is the coming back, I fall in love a little more each time he does. When he is emotionally more intertwined with me, having whom he wants and how, watching my pleasure for him and with him and her. It's an us, three or more, consensually loving what we all bring and get.