Welcome to The Garden, a community for those already practicing, or wishing to learn the art and lifestyle of Domination and submission in their various forms and practices. Beyond The Garden gate exists a growing collection of essays, definitions, and interactive amenities to assist the curious and the expert in self-discovery, learning, and fun.
This book blog is for the express purpose of introducing the curious bibliophile to new and different works of BDSM and D/s fiction and non-fiction. With books like 50 Shades of Grey and movies like The Secretary, and even episodes of CSI, BDSM is portrayed as violent, uncontrolled, irresponsible hobby undertaken by deliberately seductive, mentally ill, unstable sex maniacs. In reality, those who practice BDSM and D/s as a lifestyle and lovestyle are relatively normal people (just like you and me) that want to form relationships based on an agreed upon dynamic and have sensual and sexual experiences that give mutual pleasure, though the way that pleasure is achieved may be in a way that not the same as everyone else.
Our Book Blog is our way of showing curious readers what to read next! Let our professional D/s writers introduce you to books and authors that you may never have found otherwise so you can find some wonderful reads.
The following is an extract from the book Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns explaining Dominance, submission, and the common bonds we share.
“In exchange for obedience by the submissive, the dominant agrees to care for and work toward the pleasure of both partners. Thus empowered by the sub, the dominant takes control of their scenes and agrees to abide by the limits she sets. .
Some people extend D/S roles outside the bedroom, often referring to themselves as “slave” [or “submissive/ subservient”] and “master.” Generally, these people consider themselves D/S “lifestylers”.”1
The elements of power exchange first engage the concept of human’s personal power. We are born with this power, developing it as we mature, and use it to function in daily life. We use it to make decisions about our personal lives, business, and interactions with others; it is the element of control that we, have over our lives and everything surrounding us. In BDSM and in a D/s relationship, some or all of one individual’s (the submissive or slave’s) personal power is voluntarily given, through negotiation, to another person (the Dominant), in exchange for the fulfillment of certain requirements. In a scene, the bottom yields control or power to the Top through and for the same means. “The depth of power yielded by the submissive is equal to the level of responsibility assumed by the dominant.” 2
Many myths surrounding BDSM and Domination and submission. One long-lived myth that one party is being abused by someone in some kind of authority. The Garden and the majority of lifestyle participants do not espouse or condone abuse in any way and insist that every journey, activity and relationship be safe, sane, and consensual in every way. We reject bullies and abusers. Other myths include the idea that every interaction involves “whips and chains” and involve “masters and slaves”. This is far from the truth, yet very close to it. While a certain amount of bondage and erotic pain may be involved in the sensual aspect of a Dominant/submissive relationship, it is not always included in the choices made by a couple; they alone decide on what happens in their personal dynamic. Also, not all bottoms are submissive, not all submissives are slaves, just as not every top is Dominant, and not every Dominant is a Master. The couple decides on the depth of the power exchange. As in relationships that do not include BDSM, the couple alone decides on the rules of the relationship and every couple is different. “There is no right or wrong way to do BDSM.”3 Join us in reading and sharing our thoughts through our archived writing, forums, and support pages. Ask questions, and with us, learn about how and why we do what we do.
The Garden features essays and creative works focused on BDSM, D/s, SM, and BD, meaning Bondage Domination or Discipline Sadism or Submission and Masochism. Most BDSM information writing is done by Dominants, submissives, Tops, and bottoms in The Lifestyle. They explain fetishes, D/s philosophy, BDSM how-to, John Norman’s Gor and the Gorean Lifestyle with Masters and kajira, and BDSM equipment and toys. We explore fetishes and topics,such a spanking, humiliation, rope, shibari, electro-play, kink for the non-D/s or vanilla folk, sensation play, impact play, watersports, flogging, edge play, erotic asphyxiation, Christian D/s, online BDSM, munch and play party protocol, offline BDSM, Gorean slave positions, Gorean slave serves, beginners guides to BDSM, Mistress worship, FemDom, slave dances, collaring ceremony, scene reports, creative writing, stories, poetry, BDSM humor, how to spot fake Dom, BBWs and BDSM, feminism and BDSM, BDSM vs. Abuse, SSC, R.A.C.K., Finding a Dom, safety checklists, BDSM and Master/Slave contracts. The Garden contains no pornography but is still adults only.
At The Masque, The Garden, and The WiKtT Archives, we believe sex and lovemaking is beautiful, positive, and a major creative force in our world. We are respectful, loving, open, and accepting of most lifestyle choices including LGBT, gay, lesbian, and transgender life and love styles, kinky, poly or polyamorous relationships, dominant, submissive or switch lifestyles. We are always accepting new submissions!
1 Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism, Miller and Devon, Mystic Rose Books,1995, p. 9
2 Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns: The Romance and Sexual Sorcery of Sadomasochism, Miller and Devon, Mystic Rose Books,1995, p. 235
3 The Loving Dominant, John Warren, ed.2, Greenery Press, 2000. p. 15