Longtime readers of my columns probably have sympathized with the number of Dominants I’ve been involved with who just plain were a bad match. Readers might have wondered, and I have surely wondered as well what the heck is wrong with my Select-a-Dom mechanism. The problem may have been that I hadn’t yet read Karen Martin’s book How to Capture a Mistress. Karen wrote this book for male submissives and slaves, which is one good reason why I had no interest whatsoever in reading it, but then her slave Bob happens to be a friend of mine so I thought I’d give it a quick read. To my utter surprise, I found myself totally hooked. This is no pseudo-silly erotica, Karen’s book provides succinct instruction, steps, strategies, tips and organized exercises on how to improve your skills as a Submissive to attract dominant women in general, or a dominant woman in specific. Although I imagine attracting dominant men is different in some ways, I couldn’t help but start applying her excellent advice to myself and see where I might improve my approach.
Throughout the book Karen takes an eminently practical approach, from describing the various types of relationships and Mistresses you might want to look for, how to locate them, how to get to know them, and finally how to make them choose you for a slave or submissive (IE how to “capture” them). She discusses checklists extensively, explaining how they are often used far too early and as a replacement for real discussions about who we are as people. One of my favorite sections is her chapter on myths of the BDSM community such as the myth of the soulmate, that Mistress is Always Right, Long-term relationships are best, and many more. She opened my eyes to how we can see past the what our eyes often tell us about the bookcovers of Mistresses (and by extension Masters and Dominants) and move on to seeing what is truly important in a person who can bring to your life the control that you truly desire.
I know how happy my dear friend Bob is with Karen, so I know that Karen does indeed know of what she speaks. And after reading her book I also know that I’m also going to get to work on myself as well, as her clear and strategic advice is the best I’ve read for creating a real-world relationship that is born of the beautiful thing we call Dominance and Submission. If you are searching for a Mistress, or a Master and want some help in improving your odds, this book is for you!