Much is said about Safe, Sane and Consensual within the BDSM lifestyle, it has become a cornerstone catch word for living. What isn't being discussed is the necessary evaluation of mental condition that it entails upon all people.
You are either married, living together or have been long-time companions in some other form of relationship. Suddenly, you start to develop erotic power exchange emotions and fantasies. Or your partner does. Now what?
Is a safeword really a good safety measure? And another question: how safe is a safeword? And finally: isn't the BDSM community just a bunch of parrots, all repeating the same dogmas over and over again?
Please give this post some thought. Get to know your potential bottoms well enough to engage in these type conversations. Whatever you do, have some "Plan B" that will allow a rope bottom to get loose in the event of an emergency.
The most important thing of all is the accountability of the individuals engaged in the activity itself.
This is an article I wrote in 1997 addressing what I felt to be inadequacies in SM's most famous rubric.
How many times have you come across someone (it doesn't matter Dom/mme, sub, Master, slave, switch, Top, bottom) that either claims to be or is seeking someone that is "no limits"?
This is the Play Table that I compiled and use in my House.
There are two viewpoints on personal safty in the lifestyle, but they aren't mutualy exclusive, no matter what some claim.
I believe in the combination of both S.S.C. (Safe, Sane, Consensual) and R.A.C.K. (Risk, Aware/Assessed, Consensual, Kink).
An Extremely Thorough Play Checklist
Consent is only part of the triad of SSC. It all matters.
A guideline for first time meetings.
Life is not without risk, and our lifestyle even more so. Everyday we risk exposure, injury, emotional damage, but we accept those risks. Learning how to be safer and deal with possible problems is a major undertaking not to be ignored. A wide ranging introduction to safety practices in several different BDSM activies and venues.
An alternative to "SSC", "Risk-Aware, Consensual Kink"
Techniques used in evaluating risk and risk management
The three tenants of BDSM
Danger signs in forming new relationships and meeting play partners.